The NEWEST ELEMENT. Scientists have discovered the heaviest element yet known to man. It is called governmentium (Gv). It has 1 neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. Since governmentium has no electrons or protons, it is inert. However, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. Governmentium has a normal 1/2 life of 2 to 6 years. It doesn't decay but undergoes a re-organisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. When catalysed with money, governmentium becomes administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as governmentium. All of the money is consumed in the exchange and no other by-products are produced.