Quantum Gravity made too simple.

Jimmy Snyder
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I will work with supernatural units in which \hbar = c = 1 and further, \pi = e = -1 = 1.
Using these units, and some minor calculation we see that the Lagrangian is:

\mathcal{L} = 1

This not only simplifies matters, but leads to remarkably accurate predictions. For instance, if we assume that the S matrix is given by

S = \sum_{n=0}^{\infty}S^{(n)}

where

S^{(n)} = 9 (.1)^{n+1}

Then we have g = 0.99\overline{9}, in remarkable agreement with the experimental value of 1, the error being only 0.0\overline{0}1.

What's more, by setting 0 = 1 we have the following grand unification of quantum mechanics and general relativity.

(i\not{\partial} - m)\psi = 0 = 1 = 0 = R_{\mu\nu} - \frac{1}{2}g_{\mu\nu}R - 8GT_{\mu\nu}

In my next paper, I will investigate the implications of the further simplification \frac{1}{2} = 8 = 1.
 
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Okay, I admit- you got me. I actually wrote out a response pointing out all the errors when, while trying to decide how to respond to the last line, it finally hit me- this is a joke!
 
Funny! I came to this thread immediately after watching a Samantha Bee episode on Daily Show, and it's right in the same vein.
She was explaining the terms used to describe the gathering of Cardinals to elect a Pope.
 
There is no single pope but a landscape of popes; you find the correct vacuum state by catholic reasoning which requires 3 = 1; from this equation you can derive both the existence and the non-existence of god, so it's a theory of everything.
 
tom.stoer said:
vacuum state by catholic reasoning which requires 3 = 1;

only if you have the correct ... wait for it...cardinality
 
Don't forget:

1+2+3+\cdots =-\frac{1}{12}

Now everything makes sense.

:-D
 
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