Reflecting on Romance: Weird Scenarios to Consider

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The discussion revolves around the impact of physical disabilities and disfigurements on romantic preferences and perceptions. Participants are prompted to reflect on how scenarios such as sudden blindness, deafness, or severe disfigurement might alter their criteria for romantic partners. The conversation highlights the distinction between lust and love, suggesting that superficial qualities often dominate initial attraction. Some contributors express skepticism about the usefulness of such reflections, questioning whether drastic changes would genuinely alter one's romantic standards. Others acknowledge that contemplating these scenarios can lead to a deeper understanding of personal values and preferences in relationships. The overarching theme emphasizes self-awareness in romantic pursuits and the importance of recognizing superficial biases.
homology
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I have seen many posts on this physics site about 'love' or 'girls and guys' etc. So I thought I would post a little something that can be good for reflecting on one's goals in the romantic arena.

So here are the ponderables, reflect and respond if you wish to as many or as few as you like.

1) You are suddenly struck blind, how does this effect what/who you were looking for in romance?

2) Combine blindness with some other malady like deafness or muteness and reflect as in (1).

3) You are crippled below the stomach (perhaps a freak physics experiment :frown: ) and your genetalia are now entirely worthless, i.e. no more orgasms for you. how does this effect what/who you were looking for in romance?

4) You experience an accident which leaves you horribly disfigured. how does this effect what/who you were looking for in romance?

5) Any other weird scenario you can think of that might alter one's 'guidelines for dating'

Have fun,

Kevin
 
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The best part of this above post has got to be the "Have fun" part.

I didn't really enjoy picturing myself minus half a face and destroyed lower body, running (actually dragging my torso) into trees in search of the "perfect woman."

PS : I have no intention of appearing insensitive to the tragedies suffered by other people. Hope no one misunderstands me...
 
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How exactly is this helpful again?

cookiemonster
 
well maybe its not helpful. I didnt' say that it was helpful. However, being something of a cynic, I think that most folks fall into lust more than love, experience lust at first sight more than love at first sight and etc. What we use to qualify an "attractive" or "desirable" partner is important to reflect on. For instance, the qualifications: giant bazooms and plantinum blonde hair, restrict the set of admissable candidates. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but its something to be aware of. I found that reflecting on the above, somewhat macabre, scenarios forced me to realize which of my qualifications were really just superficial. Such reflection led to my wife a woman I might have passed over without such reflection.

But you might not find such reflections useful at all. I just thought I'd post what helped me.

Kevin
 
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there's no such thing as love at first sight... there's lust at first sight (often!) and that can lead to love...
my girlfriend got pretty sad for a second when i mentioned that i thought she would be "just another girl" when i first met her... i wasn't looking for love at the time, and i basically approached her for being so damn cute... of course i remembered to tell her that i proved to be completely wrong... i actually made her agree, that if i had been looking for love and not a nice piece of ass (pardon me), we probably wouldn't have hooked up... cause somehow you simply cannot get as much as a single date if you're looking for a serious relationship :biggrin:
tell me if I'm wrong...
 
A horrible disfigurement would be having no penis... no offence ladies. :biggrin:
 
I really don't see how any of that's helpful. None of those things would change what's important in a relationship.
 
Are you suggesting that if a person has lower self esteem that they would be less picky about finding a romantic interest? Probably.

I think I get what you are trying to say. That if you yourself weren't such a catch that you might be more accepting of another who is less than perfect?
 
homology said:
1) You are suddenly struck blind, how does this effect what/who you were looking for in romance?

I'll no longer be "looking" for anything. The face will no longer matter, but as long as I have a sense of touch, I'm still not dating any fat chicks

edit - loseyourname, my apologies, I meant to reply to your post but hit the wrong button and accidently deleted part of your post. Please forgive me. Evo
 
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  • #10
I'm not really pushing a message since some of you have already posted that in the circumstances I have portrayed, your criterea wouldn't change. I just posted it for your own reflection. If you get nothing out of it then I meant no message. If you get something out it then I meant that.

Its just good to know what you'll take and what you won't and why.

That's all,

Kevin
 
  • #11
But can you really imagine how you'll react in drastic circumstances? It's easy to say, "No, I won't change!" but can you really rely on that? One of the differences of being old is that you have been through some drastic changes and have empirical evidence on the subject. See also the "What is death" thread.
 
  • #12
well you certainly could imagine, it may not be accurate, but then the posted scenarios are meant only to provide stimulus for reflection.

Kevin
 
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