DaveC426913 said:
Please forgive. Your husband is a fool who is in denial. He knows perfectly well that what's he's saying is not true; it's a rationalization.
Suggest that he at least have the grown-upness to be honest with himself.
Harsh, but utterly correct. There is a whole body of research into the resolution of the cognitive dissonance created by undertaking risky activity, and smoking tobacco is often the model used. The manner of resolution is usually in the forms of:
"Something has to kill me, if it's not smoking, something else will."
"Only a percentage of people who smoke die from lung cancer, and it's not a majority."
"I don't buy the science and medicine which says I'm at risk."
Obviously the flaw in the first is that you're not mitigating risk, and you're ignoring the idea that you're shortening your life, even if it's not smoking that seems to kill you. This dovetails with the second which while accurate, ignores the many way in which smoking is deleterious to cardiac and pulmonary health! This can be reformulated as a notion that more nonsmokers die of cancer, but of course, they don't die from lung, mouth, and throat cancer: that's for smokers and a few other select groups.
The final one, is what DaveC has pinpointed: and it's a kind of selective madness. It's true that people develop tolerance to nicotine as a drug, but there is no adaptations to avoiding the effects of carcinogens from smoking. IN FACT, there are TSC's (Tobacco Specific Carcinogens) which is essentially the opposite of your husband's thesis: tobacco is uniquely carcinogenic, like asbestos, or radon, and the human body's defense against runaway mutation (cancer) is more easily defeated by these carcinogens that those the non-smoking popultion is exposed to.
Oh, and yeah, more nonsmokers die of cancer is wrong, but I get what he's saying... and it's bull****. There are more nonsmokers than smokers, and age is the biggest risk factor for cancer. As smokers tend to die earlier than nonsmokers by quite a few years on average, they have lower incidences of some cancers because they don't survive long enough to enter that the riskiest period for them. It's a statistical illusion which really does the opposite of what your husband believes.
The one area I disagree with DaveC is that your husband is not a fool; your husband is afraid. To rationalize as he does, he must have a sense of the risk he's taking, and the difficulty in quitting his habit. If you approach him as a fool who requires education you'll be ignoring the fact that these are defense mechanisms he's developed to avoid the constant fear of death. I don't think you need to be gentle, but be aware that his intelligence and maturity may not be the issue; he's just human. Now smack some good sense into this human before he dies horribly, because dying from COPD's or Lung Cancer is a TERRIBLE way to die.