Should I Tell Her The Book Isn't Needed?

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The discussion revolves around a situation where a person is contemplating asking a girl out after she expressed interest in borrowing an Economics book. The girl offered to take him to dinner as a form of repayment for the book, which he later discovered is not the one required for her class. Participants in the thread advise that he should still suggest going to dinner, as her invitation indicates she wants to spend time with him. It's emphasized that he should not offer to pay for dinner if she initiated the invitation, but he can politely offer to cover his share or suggest he’ll pay next time. The consensus is that her willingness to go to dinner suggests mutual interest, and he should take the opportunity to pursue that. Overall, the key takeaway is to maintain honesty about the book situation while also being open to the possibility of developing a connection over dinner.
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I barely know this girl who's really not hot but pretty cool. Anyways, I was sitting there thinking about asking her out...I knew it'd never happen but it was just a thought. 10 mins later she IMs me and asks if I still have my Econ book from last semester and I said I'll just give it to her (since I think the book isn't worth much and I never opened it in the first place). She said she'll take me to dinner and we figured out a place. I then told her she might want to make sure that they're using the same book I have and told her which book I have, she said she'll check and the conversation ended.

I don't know if she knows that we can check the books online or not, but I checked and they're not using the same book I have. So, I was thinking I should just tell her I'll pay for dinner if she doesn't want the book anymore or what should I do?
 
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DON'T OFF TO PAY FOR DINER IF SHE ASKED YOU FOR DINER!

Pay your own share at most in this scenario.
 
I'm not good in this kind of things but If I were you I wouldn't do this:
girl: Hey, I just checked online, and we're not using the same book. Anyway,
thanks.
me: Alright, not problem. If you don't want the book, I'll pay for our dinner then.

Like I said, I'm not good in this kind of stuff, but I would rather say with irony, "no problem." We still can go do dinner together anyway. (In irony).

I think it'd work good.
 
JasonRox said:
DON'T OFF TO PAY FOR DINER IF SHE ASKED YOU FOR DINER!

Pay your own share at most in this scenario.
Paying for dinner was her way of paying for the book.

If there's no more book transaction then the dinner is off.

Since he wants to ask her out then the logical thing to do would be to say something like "hey how about we still go to dinner. On me"

No offense but if you need help making decisions like this then I'm afraid to see what you do when faced with a real problem. (Of course it's easy for me to say that not being the one in the situation ;) )
 
I agree with Dav, that seems the easiest way if you still want to go to dinner with her.
 
heartless said:
I'm not good in this kind of things but If I were you I wouldn't do this:
girl: Hey, I just checked online, and we're not using the same book. Anyway, thanks.

Well, see I was thinking that if she says something like this then I'll just say no problem and forget about the dinner. If she's only taking me to dinner because I gave her the book then I don't want to waste time with her.

However, if she says something like "they're not using the same book anymore, but we can still go to dinner", should I tell her that I'll pay for it then?
 
Physics_wiz said:
However, if she says something like "they're not using the same book anymore, but we can still go to dinner", should I tell her that I'll pay for it then?

It sound quite dull. Maybe you should just say OK, continue the conversation for a while, don't tell her that you will pay for it, but rather wait until the last second to pay for it. I think that would do much better, and if she's an ordinary girl, she'll be amazed by you being such a gentle-man?
 
Physics_wiz said:
Well, see I was thinking that if she says something like this then I'll just say no problem and forget about the dinner. If she's only taking me to dinner because I gave her the book then I don't want to waste time with her.

However, if she says something like "they're not using the same book anymore, but we can still go to dinner", should I tell her that I'll pay for it then?

If she didn't want to go to dinner with you in the first place then she would have offered money for the book, or something along those lines. You can suggest dinner still, if you want to go with her, and see what she thinks.
Know what I mean?
 
I agree with Dav and SimplySolitary here, ask her if she still wants to go out to dinner :smile:
 
  • #10
Physics_wiz said:
Well, see I was thinking that if she says something like this then I'll just say no problem and forget about the dinner. If she's only taking me to dinner because I gave her the book then I don't want to waste time with her.
First, I think Dave's suggestion is a good one to consider. Though, the whole fact that she offered to take you out to dinner as repayment for the book says she wanted to spend time with you, otherwise she'd have insisted on just paying for the book, or maybe tried trading something else instead. She might be just as unsure of your interest in her and thought it was a safe excuse to ask you and and test the waters, so now that her good excuse is gone, you can still make the return offer and see if it leads anywhere.

However, if she says something like "they're not using the same book anymore, but we can still go to dinner", should I tell her that I'll pay for it then?
Nope, in that case, she did the inviting. When the check comes, you can still politely offer to cover it or ask how much your share is, just in case her paying was meant to be contingent on you giving her the book, but if she insists that she wants to pay, let her (and offer that you're buying NEXT TIME :biggrin:).
 
  • #11
Moonbear said:
Though, the whole fact that she offered to take you out to dinner as repayment for the book says she wanted to spend time with you, otherwise she'd have insisted on just paying for the book, or maybe tried trading something else instead. She might be just as unsure of your interest in her and thought it was a safe excuse to ask you and and test the waters, so now that her good excuse is gone, you can still make the return offer and see if it leads anywhere.
I'd be thinking along the lines of Moonbear. The young lady contacted Physics_wiz, as opposed to another person, and she offered dinner in exchange for the book.

One has to be honest in this situation regardless of the outcome. One should inform the young lady that her class appears to be using a different book, according to what one found on line. If she still wants to go to dinner, fine - and do what MB suggested. If she does not mention dinner, one can mention that one would be pleased to have dinner with the young lady.
 
  • #12
Moonbear, Artman, and JasonRox are the love doctors around here. Listen to them, they know what to do. JAM
 
  • #13
Offer to pay - ladies love that **** :biggrin:
 

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