I wish I were delusional.
Well, I had been thinking how to reply it so I'd not get warning by the mods. I think the following is the best I can come up.
What do you think of Sabine Hossenfelder?
She made me realize now is the best time to be a physicist. Lack of any new experimental data has reset and level the playing fields. So all are back to square one. And if one studies enough. One can become equal to the legendary Hossenfelder. Remember she wrote:
http://backreaction.blogspot.com/2016/08/the-lhc-nightmare-scenario-has-come-true.html
The LHC "Nightmare Scenerio" has Come True
"...we’ve entered what has become known as the “nightmare scenario” for the LHC: The Higgs and nothing else. Many particle physicists thought of this as the worst possible outcome. It has left them without guidance, lost in a thicket of rapidly multiplying models. Without some new physics, they have nothing to work with that they haven’t already had for 50 years, no new input that can tell them in which direction to look for the ultimate goal of unification and/or quantum gravity.
That the LHC hasn’t seen evidence for new physics is to me a clear signal that we’ve been doing something wrong, that our experience from constructing the standard model is no longer a promising direction to continue. We’ve maneuvered ourselves into a dead end by relying on aesthetic guidance to decide which experiments are the most promising. I hope that this latest null result will send a clear message that you can’t trust the judgement of scientists whose future funding depends on their continued optimism."
Now can someone give me the links to the best online courses.. at least to study some math for start and basic physics degree. Then would look for a physical school for my doctorate.