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Tasteless brittle jacobs biscuits

  1. Apr 5, 2006 #1


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    I have to ask, as i am so peed of, you are invited to a port out starboard home do, and what do they have for nosh, crackers, you know those tasteless brittle jacobs biscuits with all manner of squishy stuff spread on them, i am sure they hate me, as, as soon as i pick one up and try to eat it
    i get a little in my north and south, and the rest in my lap, what nutter invented these explosive platforms for posh toppings, and how do you manage to keep your togs clean and your belly full ?
  2. jcsd
  3. Apr 5, 2006 #2

    jimmy p

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    The trick is to put the whole lot in your north and south and to cup your hand under in case any crumbs go man overboard.


    Eat before you go out. Buffets suck.
  4. Apr 5, 2006 #3
    I make sure to eat befor I go. That way, I only half to suffer only one or two crackers. If it looks like people are haveing problems with it, I hold a little napkin or left hand under my chin to catch any run away sancks.
  5. Apr 5, 2006 #4


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    Spread plenty of butter and soft cheese (perhaps palpate some nice blue Stilton into a viscous adhesive) onto the substrate, and add multiple crackers to form a laminated section. When dentine pressure causes a layer of cracker to fail, the malliable interstitial filler will allow the fragments to be held to the parent, and remain in one secure entity, much in the same way as an automotive windscreen would fail upon contact with a hard, rapidly moving projectile.
  6. Apr 5, 2006 #5
    I would ask to borrow their blender. Then pour a bunch of different cracker types into it as well as globs of various posh toppings. Blend it until it is thouroughly liquified, then drink the mixture from a sippy-cup. And just like that, no more mess!
  7. Apr 5, 2006 #6


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    Brewey, I think you need to take breaks from work a bit more often. :uhh:

    Crackers aren't so bad to deal with; what still gets me is when they put out little hors d'oeuvres that require a plate to carry them, then hand you a glass of wine, and have no tables or windowsills to lean against, so you somehow have to figure out how to hold the plate and wine glass in one hand so you have the other free to take a bite of food. I'm sure some evil caterer is sitting just out of view, cackling as they watch everyone try to juggle their food and drink.
  8. Apr 5, 2006 #7
    Yeah especially when people want a handshake! I just say, "no can do pal sorry."
  9. Apr 6, 2006 #8


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    I googled (sanks) it seems lots of people use the word instead of snacks,
    no wonder i am all ways confused :smile:
  10. Apr 6, 2006 #9


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    I do say, that is bloody difficult to understand for an American.
  11. Apr 6, 2006 #10


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    How do you think us britts cope ? there is about 10 ways to say the same
    thing with different words :smile:
  12. Apr 6, 2006 #11
    Dyslexia rules! We will take over the world one sanck party at a time!
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