tsahi said:
yes, i understand,
but what is it that enables us to regard spacetime as flat (Newton, tidal forces analysis) and curved (geodesic analysis) at the same time?
Magic.

Your suspicion is well justified! Newton's theory and Einstein's theory are 2 completely different conceptions of gravity. In a mathematically consistent theory, which statements we regard as assumptions and which are derived is a matter of taste. However, Newton's theory and Einstein's theory are not mathematically consistent. Einstein's theory cannot be derived from Newton's theory. Newton's theory can be derived only approximately from Einstein's theory. Even in the weak field situation, Einstein's theory predicts perihelion precession, but Newton's doesn't. The relationship between tidal forces and geodesic deviation should be seen as a way of transitioning between two extremely useful but inconsistent theories.
There's a useful analogy I learned from the Feynman lectures. Newtonian mechanics has 3 equivalent viewpoints: Newtonian, Lagrangian and Hamiltonian. You can pick any viewpoint you like. But in generalizing to quantum mechanics, (trying to guess the more correct theory to which Newton's theory is only an approximation), only the Hamiltonian and Lagrangian viewpoints work. Note that till this day we do not know why classical reality emerges from our supposedly more correct quantum theory!
Around 1910, Einstein knew Newton's theory was right, but not completely right. So he was in a similar situation as to where we are now with respect to his equations (he had some excellent competitors, and the choice between them was based on experiment, not Einstein's genius). Which aspects of his theory should we use to transition to the new more correct theory?
As summarized by Gu and Wen: There are many different approaches to quantum gravity based on different principles. Some approaches, such as loop quantum gravity, stress the gauge structure from the diffeomorphism of the space-time. Other approaches, such as superstring theory stress the renormalizability of the theory. In this paper, we follow a different rule of game by stressing finiteness and locality.
Or Padmanabhan: The quantum description of spacetime is likely to be as different from the classical description, as the atomic description of a solid is from the macroscopic continuum description of a solid. The latter uses concepts like density, stress and strain, bulk flow velocity etc., none of which has much relevance in the microscopic scale; the quantum description of molecules in a solid cannot be obtained by quantising the classical macroscopic variables. ... Quantisation of the metric has as much relevance — in this paradigm — as quantising, say, the density and bulk flow velocity of a solid with the hope of obtaining a quantum theory of molecules.
http://arxiv.org/abs/gr-qc/0606100
http://arxiv.org/abs/gr-qc/0408051