I'm going to explain this in terms of a cross between Newtonian gravity and the weak field approximation since you don't appear to know tensor analysis and differential geometry.
If someone told you that gravity is created my matter bending spacetime then they were incorrect. It's gravitational gradients that curves spacetime, not the other way around. I.e. gravity is the cause, curved spacetime is the result. Also, according to Einstein, the presence of a gravitational field is not determined by the presence of spacetime curvature but (in simple terms which aren't exactly accurate) by the non-vanishing of the gravitational gradient of the gravitational potential. So you can have a gravitational field without spacetime curvature but you can't have spacetime curvature without a gravitational field. A good example is a uniform gravitational field. The gravitational potential of a weak uniform gravitational field is of the form Phi = mgz
\Phi = mgz
The gravitational force is the gradient of this, i.e.
F = -\nabla \Phi = -mg
At this point it's important to know that spacetime curvature is a fancy way of talking about gravitational tidal forces. The Newtonian version of the tidal force tij tensor can be expressed in terms of the second derivatives of the gravitational potential, i.e.
t_{ij} = \frac{\partial^2\Phi}{\partial^i\partial^j}
If you know a little about calculus then you'd notice that the tidal force tensor is now zero and therefore spacetime curvature in a uniform gravitational field is zero.
As to why one particle exerts a force on another one - nobody knows.