WAIT I'm not through whining :-(

[turbo]

It's a $20 co-pay at the urgent care and $125 at the ER.

So you'll accept sub-standard care for the sake of $105? Misplaced priorities, Evo. Go, Please!

 

[Proton Soup]

what's a doc going to do? say, "yep, that looks like a bite. keep a band-aid on it and come back in a week for a follow-up." ?

 

[Evo]

what's a doc going to do? say, "yep, that looks like a bite. keep a band-aid on it and come back in a week for a follow-up." ?

That's what I'm thinking. Everything I'm reading says they can't do anything more than what I'm doing, unless it's really serious, which it's not. I'm probably just over sensitive to the pain, it's really probably no worse than a cut from a dull razor, which, by the way, I just did in the shower. Yeah, it's about the same.

Ok, it's a toss up, bug bite says to apply ice, not heat, a boil/staph infection says to apply heat.

I'm going to apply ice, it helped reduce the pain yesterday. A glass of wine would be nice, why is it I never have any?

 

[turbo]

A glass of wine would be nice, why is it I never have any?

The spider drank the wine, then attacked you in a drunken rage. Case solved.

 

[Proton Soup]

maybe some lidocaine would help with pain. i think you can find it in sunburn remedies, still. pads made for shingles might be expensive and require Rx.

as for heat, you could maybe apply it periodically as prophylaxis for infection and follow up with ice for inflammation. i think I've only ever had one spider bite I'm aware of. it was on my toe, a bit painful, and caused a small pustule. I'm glad it happened when i wasn't looking, spiders freak me out. :(

 

[CaptainQuasar]

I guess this thread is actually about that new reality hit, The Evo Show. http://www.runemasterstudios.com/graemlins/images/lol.gif

But referencing the original topic of Evo's computer crash from earlier in the year, to nerdologue, I just came across a really interesting backup option, JungleDisk, which backs your data up to the Amazon Internet Cloud service.

P.S. Oh, whoops, you got injured. Wasn't that especially insensitive of me. I do hope it gets better.

⚛​

 

[dlgoff]

Go now Evo, Hurry, take a cab, perhaps dlgoff can help?

Yes. If you need a way to get to a doctor or somewhere, just let me know. I'll PM my phone number Evo.

 

[Evo]

Yes. If you need a way to get to a doctor or somewhere, just let me know. I'll PM my phone number Evo.

Oh, you will regret that.

 

[dlgoff]

I think you would be worth it.

 

[Evo]

I guess this thread is actually about that new reality hit, The Evo Show. http://www.runemasterstudios.com/graemlins/images/lol.gif

But referencing the original topic of Evo's computer crash from earlier in the year, to nerdologue, I just came across a really interesting backup option, JungleDisk, which backs your data up to the Amazon Internet Cloud service.

P.S. Oh, whoops, you got injured. Wasn't that especially insensitive of me. I do hope it gets better.

⚛​

I still need to get the stuff off of that computer.

Yes, another injury. Did I mention that it HURTS?

I think you would be worth it.

Oh, no, you'll be sorry.

 

[Moonbear]

I'm just going to wish you a speedy recovery on this one. I've been watching some marathon of mystery diagnosis all afternoon/evening while canning apples, so needless to say, I have a head full of bizarre, freakish illnesses right now, and am all too willing to see this as a sign of something horrendous too.

 

[Red Rum]

Evo, I can't leave you out of my sight for a minute, can I? I hope this arachnid intervention has resolved itself by now. Otherwise I'll just have to send in the lone stranger to suck the poison out. On a vaguely related note, I just got back from Ireland and as soon as I stepped in the door was bitten on the shoulder by a mosquito. It's November, cold and raining in antediluvian proportions for God's sake! Santa Claus and his aerosol underarm deodorants up in the north pole has a lot to answer for.

 

[Evo]

Evo, I can't leave you out of my sight for a minute, can I? I hope this arachnid intervention has resolved itself by now. Otherwise I'll just have to send in the lone stranger to suck the poison out. On a vaguely related note, I just got back from Ireland and as soon as I stepped in the door was bitten on the shoulder by a mosquito. It's November, cold and raining in antediluvian proportions for God's sake! Santa Claus and his aerosol underarm deodorants up in the north pole has a lot to answer for.

See what happens every time you travel? Something bad happens to me!

The leg is getting better, apparently my treatments are working.

Now, if I got bitten by a mosquito, it would be carrying equine encephalitis.

 

[Red Rum]

You know, Evo, I was trying to avoid drawing that conclusion, inescapable though it appeared. I will in future plan my travel around periods when you are likely to be confined indoors and therefore perhaps like likely to be exposed to the perils of insects, arachnids or other small but potentially deadly invertebrates. I'll have to encourage the offspring of Evo to provide better security and protection in the future.

 

[Andre]

You know, Evo, I was trying to avoid drawing that conclusion, inescapable though it appeared. I will in future plan my travel around periods when you are likely to be confined indoors and therefore perhaps like likely to be exposed to the perils of insects, arachnids or other small but potentially deadly invertebrates. I'll have to encourage the offspring of Evo to provide better security and protection in the future.

.

Alterately, you might consider sending her a better guardian angel.

 

[Red Rum]

What can I do? She's an atheist! Maybe we should just cast a few spells over her. Probably have more impact than those American witchdoctors and voodoo merchants with their modern day vaccines, antibiotics, steroids, anti inflammatories and whatnot.

 

[turbo]

What can I do? She's an atheist! Maybe we should just cast a few spells over her. Probably have more impact than those American witchdoctors and voodoo merchants with their modern day vaccines, antibiotics, steroids, anti inflammatories and whatnot.

You might consider hiring her a baby-sitter. It's cheaper than all those visits to the emergency room. If the baby-sitter can cook and hold up one end of an intelligent conversation, so much the better.

 

[Red Rum]

You might consider hiring her a baby-sitter. It's cheaper than all those visits to the emergency room. If the baby-sitter can cook and hold up one end of an intelligent conversation, so much the better.

At current rates it would probably be cheaper to have an emergency medical team on permanent standby.

 

[Evo]

RED RUM!

Actually I am agnostic, but I was told that being agnostic was cheating and that I am an atheist. Perhaps this is the cause of all of my bad luck, it is the wrath of God.

Red Rum, since you almost became a priest, can you intervene on my behalf?

 

[Red Rum]

RED RUM! Since you almost became a priest, can you intervene on my behalf?

Oh yes, my daughter, confide in me and have faith and we shall see this thing through. I may have been defrocked but my healing touch has never deserted me.

 

[Evo]

Oh yes, my daughter, confide in me and have faith and we shall see this thing through. I may have been defrocked but my healing touch has never deserted me.

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. It has been 14,697 days since my last confession. But I have a scapular.

Please tell me you aren't traveling for a few days. I'd like to heal before your next trip.

 

[turbo]

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. It has been 14,697 days since my last confession. But I have a scapular.

Please tell me you aren't traveling for a few days. I'd like to heal before your next trip.

That's your problem, Evo! You need a spatula! I have quite a few, and very rarely suffer any injury.

 

[hypatia]

spatula? scapular? Should we start a "Cook'in with God" thread?

 

[Moonbear]

Here I was thinking she needs a good scapula...helps keep the arms functioning better.

 

[Kurdt]

Luckily they seem hard to break, unless she's broken one already.

 

[lisab]

Here I was thinking she needs a good scapula...helps keep the arms functioning better.

No, she just needs spectacles...all the better to see things like Ravines of Doom. And spiders.

 

[Hurkyl]

No, she just needs spectacles...all the better to see things like Ravines of Doom. And spiders.

Spectacles rock! At least, when they don't house Ganon.

 

[turbo]

Ah, the spectacle that is Evo! In all her ER-visit glory. Maybe somebody could paint a composition illustrating her agonies... she is destined for saint-hood.

 

[Evo]

Wearing a scapular means you don't go to hell, at least not forever.

"Whosoever dies wearing this Scapular shall not suffer eternal fire

For $10.95 you can buy your ticket out of hell. Heck, I've seen a church online that says it will send you one for free, but I prefer buying mine from the church store so I know it's the real deal.

 

[turbo]

Wearing a scapular means you don't go to hell, at least not forever.

For $10.95 you can buy your ticket out of hell. Heck, I've seen a church online that says it will send you one for free, but I prefer buying mine from the church store so I know it's the real deal.

Is this the same place that sell the sham-wows?

 

[Andre]

Wearing a scapular means you don't go to hell, at least not forever.

For $10.95 you can buy your ticket out of hell. Heck, I've seen a church online that says it will send you one for free, but I prefer buying mine from the church store so I know it's the real deal.

Probably something similar to a GOOBF card?

 

[Evo]

Is this the same place that sell the sham-wows?

That reminds me, I want a shamwow.

Probably something similar to a GOOBF card?

It would be a GOOHF card. (Getting out of Hell free)

 

[turbo]

It would be a GOOHF card. (Getting out of Hell free)

You're not out of the woods. Those scapulars were made in China, and if they were blessed at all, it was en mass, and by a closet Taoist/Buddhist or by an atheist just going through the motions. All dispensations originate at the Vatican and all revenue (with shrinkage for local hierarchy) accrues therein.

If I'm going to hell, I want someone to enjoy it with, so hang on.

 

[CaptainQuasar]

For some of us, around October 31st, it means that you're Count Scapular!
http://www.runemasterstudios.com/graemlins/images/bat.gif
Back when I was in high school sometimes I'd be flipping past EWTN and there was this show that was hosted by a guy, if I remember correctly he was dressed like a Catholic cardinal with the yarmulke-type hat and red outfit, but in addition he wore this exciting huge cape with a starched stand-up collar like Count Dracula! I always wanted to be him for Halloween and that's what I would've called myself, Count Scapular. I tried to find a picture of him but my usually trusty google-fu powers were of no avail.

⚛​

 

[turbo]

For $10.95 you can buy your ticket out of hell.

For that money, you're only getting a get out of "heck" free dispensation. That means that all the eternity you spend in Hell, you will not get pimples or hangnails, nor have to endure phone calls from in-laws. (Ooops! That last one is not covered by the scapular - Satan has his standards.)

 

[Andre]

For that money, you're only getting a get out of "heck" free dispensation. That means that all the eternity you spend in Hell, you will not get pimples or hangnails, nor have to endure phone calls from in-laws. (Ooops! That last one is not covered by the scapular - Satan has his standards.)

Perhaps you can get an ensurance for that.

 

[Moonbear]

I'm trying to remember what a scapular is...is that the mini-trading card of a saint on a string thing?

 

[turbo]

Perhaps you can get an ensurance for that.

The "in-law" dispensation was a subject of intense debate for some years, but the Holy See couldn't manage to get the premiums down. Satan has pretty high rates to alleviate the most intrusive punishments, and it wasn't possible to bargain him down.

 

[Evo]

I'm trying to remember what a scapular is...is that the mini-trading card of a saint on a string thing?

Oh, you are all going to H E double toothpicks!

I wonder how much a box of scapulars would cost.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scapular_of_Our_Lady_of_Mount_Carmel#Assurances_of_the_Scapular

 

[Andre]

The "in-law" dispensation was a subject of intense debate for some years, but the Holy See couldn't manage to get the premiums down. Satan has pretty high rates to alleviate the most intrusive punishments, and it wasn't possible to bargain him down.

So noted. In that case, don't have a phone in hell.

 

[Red Rum]

So this scarab you mentioned. Also some sort of insect of an Egyptian variety, right? Remind me again how this gets you into heaven?

 

[Evo]

So this scarab you mentioned. Also some sort of insect of an Egyptian variety, right? Remind me again how this gets you into heaven?

The Virgin Mary gave it to some priest and told him it had supernatural powers. So there.

I paid my money, now I am saved.

My leg is better, you must have stayed in town.

 

[Red Rum]

I'm delighted to hear about the improvement in the limb. Now we have to conduct a few controlled experiments to determine the relative contributions of my limited travel and the protection of the holy scarab.

And of course if Mother Theresa gave it to you personally and verified its Marian origins, who am I ,a mere former trainee parish priest, to question it?

 

[Red Rum]

And explain to me: If I'm off line and you're online, how come we're having this interaction? Magic or another miracle yet to be acknowledged and celebrated?

 

[Evo]

And explain to me: If I'm off line and you're online, how come we're having this interaction? Magic or another miracle yet to be acknowledged and celebrated?

I'm invisible.

 

[Evo]

I'm delighted to hear about the improvement in the limb. Now we have to conduct a few controlled experiments to determine the relative contributions of my limited travel and the protection of the holy scarab.

And of course if Mother Theresa gave it to you personally and verified its Marian origins, who am I ,a mere former trainee parish priest, to question it?

Reminds of the scene from Monty Python.

King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.
Dennis: [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dennis: Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dennis: Oh but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away.

 

[CaptainQuasar]

Help! I'm being oppressed!

⚛​

 

[Red Rum]

Here's one of my favourites from the Life of Brian. It's what keeps my faith in these trying times.

Ex-Leper: Half a dinare for me bloody life story?
Brian: There's no pleasing some people.
Ex-Leper: That's just what Jesus said, sir.
Ex-Leper: Okay, sir, my final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper?
Brian: Did you say "ex-leper"?
Ex-Leper: That's right, sir, 16 years behind a veil and proud of it, sir.
Brian: Well, what happened?
Ex-Leper: Oh, cured, sir.
Brian: Cured?
Ex-Leper: Yes sir, bloody miracle, sir. Bless you!
Brian: Who cured you?
Ex-Leper: Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by-your-leave! "You're cured, mate." Bloody do-gooder.

Brian: Well, why don't you go and tell him you want to be a leper again?
Ex-Leper: Uh, I could do that sir, yeah. Yeah, I could do that I suppose. What I was thinking was I was going to ask him if he could make me a bit lame in one leg during the middle of the week. You know, something beggable, but not leprosy, which is a pain in the *** to be blunt and excuse my French, sir.

 

[Evo]

Oh my, I've been cleaning with bleach, I can hardly breath. Perhaps if I pour some ammonia into the bleach it will mask the smell.

 

[Andre]

Oh my, I've been cleaning with bleah, I can hardly breath. Perhaps if I pour some ammonia into the bleach it will mask the smell.

Of course you are well aware that this is a pretty sure suicide attempt.