What's next: Moving Out and Moving On

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Discussion Overview

The discussion centers around a member's upcoming move to a new place, the associated challenges, and the emotional aspects of transitioning from living at home to independence. It includes considerations about financial support from parents, job searching, and personal experiences related to moving out. The scope encompasses personal anecdotes, planning for future education, and reflections on family dynamics.

Discussion Character

  • Exploratory
  • Debate/contested
  • Conceptual clarification

Main Points Raised

  • One participant shares their plan to move out on September 1st and discusses the financial implications of their parents' potential support for tuition.
  • Another participant expresses excitement about their own move to Calgary and offers to help with questions about the new neighborhood.
  • Some participants inquire about the location of the move, with one suggesting that moving to Edmonton could be beneficial.
  • There is a mention of the possibility of suing parents for tuition in Canada, which prompts curiosity and disbelief from others.
  • Several participants offer good wishes and encouragement regarding the move and future plans.
  • One participant advises starting job applications early to secure employment before graduation, sharing insights about the job application timeline.
  • Concerns are raised about the cost of living in Vancouver, with some participants noting the high housing prices expected in the future.
  • There are reflections on the emotional relief of moving out from a challenging family environment, with shared experiences of similar situations.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

Participants generally express support and encouragement for the member's move, but there are differing opinions on the implications of financial support from parents and the feasibility of suing them for tuition. The discussion remains unresolved regarding the best strategies for job searching and the impact of family dynamics on education.

Contextual Notes

Some participants mention the variability in legal options regarding parental support for tuition, which may depend on individual circumstances and income levels. There are also references to differing experiences with job application timelines, indicating a lack of consensus on the best approach.

Who May Find This Useful

Individuals considering moving out for the first time, those navigating family dynamics related to education funding, and anyone interested in job searching strategies post-graduation may find this discussion relevant.

JasonRox
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Well, I'll be moving my stuff out of my house to my new place on September 1st. I just have to pretend I'm living at home until about Sept. 5 to collect September's child support and then I'm out.

I will bring my parents together on Sept. 6th or so to discuss whether or not they will support. I decided not to sue my parents. I figured if they want to help, they can. If they don't, they don't. I'll have my tuition paid, which is why I'm waiting until September. Tuition is due on Aug. 22nd and they have to pay it. Lawyer suggested this because the likelihood of my parents helping are basically nil.

If they choose not to help, the chances of them seeing me again are nil. I If they help, that's fine. I'm still moving across the country in May 2008 anyways. Whether they help or not will most likely be the difference in graduating with $5000 in debt or debt free. I figured I can handle $5000. That's with like $2500 cash on the side to support myself at the beginning when I move away. (Not including plane ticket and such. That will be all paid for before hand.) I figured I can live for 2 months without a job with that much. I do plan on having a job before leaving though. If I don't, that's ok. I'll just fly there and try to get any job I can, McDonald's or whatever meanwhile looking for another job. So, I figure $2500 will last about 4 months with a dead end job, and with another $5000 of available credit that's like another 4-6 months. I should be able to land a decent job within 8-10 months. With a degree in Mathematics and diploma in Business and honours in both, I should be ok.

I'm SO excited though. I signed the lease. It's $380/month total. Plus maybe $30/month for cable and phone, shared. The place is nice. Nice landlords with a really nice house. Hot tub and everything. Big room. Cute girl living there already. :approve:

I'm SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited. The time is going by sssssoooo slow though.

I'm enjoying learning Chinese lately though. I should be able to read Chinese by the end of the month. The girls that tutor me (like 3-4 of them) say I pronounce the words very good, so that's a bonus.

PS. If you want to learn a language, don't do Pimsleur/Rosetta Stone/Audio. I tried to speak "Chinese" to the girls, and they didn't understand a thing and I listened to each Pimsleur lesson like 5-10 times.
 
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Best of luck, Jason. Keep doing well in school, and that will carry over into the rest of your life.
 
Congratulations on moving out. Are you staying in Toronto or coming to Edmonton?(I think you said you were considering moving here)? I hope you like the city if it's Edmonton. It kinda sounds like you are staying in Toronto since you have been to the place.

I am leaving Edmonton! I got a good scholarship offer in Calgary and after thinking about it for a while decided to take it.

Anyways, enjoy the new place, if it does happen to be Edmonton, feel free to ask any questions about your new neighborhood or anything :p
 
JasonRox said:
I will bring my parents together on Sept. 6th or so to discuss whether or not they will support. I decided not to sue my parents.
You can sue your parents for school tuition in Canada?? Damn, I was born in the wrong country!
 
Good luck Jason, sounds like you have a rosy future :smile:
 
Best of everything good to you! I know you'll do just fine.
 
dontdisturbmycircles said:
Congratulations on moving out. Are you staying in Toronto or coming to Edmonton?(I think you said you were considering moving here)? I hope you like the city if it's Edmonton. It kinda sounds like you are staying in Toronto since you have been to the place.

I am leaving Edmonton! I got a good scholarship offer in Calgary and after thinking about it for a while decided to take it.

Anyways, enjoy the new place, if it does happen to be Edmonton, feel free to ask any questions about your new neighborhood or anything :p

I was considering Edmonton for awhile, but decided to go to BC like Vancouver, Abbotsford, Victoria, etc... on the other side of the mountains. :biggrin:

I'm so jacked about it. :biggrin:
 
daveb said:
You can sue your parents for school tuition in Canada?? Damn, I was born in the wrong country!

It depents how much money your parenst make. Mine make a lot. The lawyers I talk to think it's insane. It's the first time they've ever seen a situation like mine.
 
Good luck with the move! As for planning ahead, don't wait until you graduate to start sending out resumes for jobs. You can start applying early spring to start when school is done, and if you don't have a home to return to, that would be a really good thing to do so you have a job already lined up rather than taking chances on starting to look after arriving. I don't know how it works in Canada, but in the US, sometimes if you get a job that requires relocating across country and it's a big enough company to afford it, they'll pay your moving expenses for you, so definitely financially better to get the job before you move rather than after.
 
  • #10
Moonbear said:
Good luck with the move! As for planning ahead, don't wait until you graduate to start sending out resumes for jobs. You can start applying early spring to start when school is done, and if you don't have a home to return to, that would be a really good thing to do so you have a job already lined up rather than taking chances on starting to look after arriving. I don't know how it works in Canada, but in the US, sometimes if you get a job that requires relocating across country and it's a big enough company to afford it, they'll pay your moving expenses for you, so definitely financially better to get the job before you move rather than after.

I'll be applying in October or November and then re-applying in February and March. The reason for this is because I noticed it can take months before they even consider you. A girl I knew who graduated this year said she got most of her calls 5-6 months after the fact that she applied. And now that she's working at another job, she's still getting calls 7-8 months later. I'm not sure if that's normal, but that's freaking slow.
 
  • #11
I have family in Vancouver and they love it there. I wouldn't mind having an ocean to moderate my weather :-(. (For those perfectionists among us, I mean moderate in a more pronounced way. :p)
 
  • #12
You're moving to Vancouver? Awesome. Hey, I know what it's like to have a destructive family environment and I was psyched when I moved out too. You complain about it all the time, I'm glad your finally getting out. Best of luck, and happy escaping! :cool:edit: btw 380 a month in vancouver is CHEEEEAAAP.
 
  • #13
Congrats on the move! I'm the sure the freedom will be great for you! I have a friend from the vancouver/abbotsford area and she loves it there but be prepared for freaking expensive housing when you get there in a few years!
 
  • #14
Thats great man... can't wait to move out myself... what youre doing sounds so exciting... what a kick...
 
  • #15
Good luck, Jason. These are great steps in your life. I hope everything goes well for you.
 
  • #16
Smurf said:
You're moving to Vancouver? Awesome. Hey, I know what it's like to have a destructive family environment and I was psyched when I moved out too. You complain about it all the time, I'm glad your finally getting out. Best of luck, and happy escaping! :cool:


edit: btw 380 a month in vancouver is CHEEEEAAAP.

Oh no! That's in Ontario. I have one more year of school left. I just don't want this environment ruining it for me because it already is. My own brother wanted to go back to school but going back to school worried him too much because he would have to live at home. Living at home is just high risk for failing. Because my brother feels this way, my parents have no chance at all at winning any lawsuit. Two of my lawyers (different ones without association) said that showing that my home is not a healthy environment for school is the big challenge. Considering my brother feels the same way, it's a done deal.

Oh man, I'm so happy for you too. Being in this position is just brutal. I'm so looking forward to just sitting in my room or living room without hearing someone whining, yelling, dog barking, baby crying, TV playing, and all that jazz and the basement smelling like piss and **** because they don't want to train the animals. (I OFFERED TO PAY FOR TRAINING!) Oh god, I have no idea how my ex-gf dealt with it. I don't even bring friends over never mind meeting a new girl.

I LITERALLY CAN NOT *CURSE*ING WAIT UNTIL I'M OUT OF HERE.

It's literally hell. The funny part is that they probably think I'm happy here. Put on the happy face until you collect tuition. :smile:
 
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  • #17
Congratulations on moving out, Jason. It's good to hear that you've got yourself sorted.

Just to pick up on another note, it seems amazingly cheap to live over there. I pay the equivalent of your monthly rent per week to live in my house!
 
  • #18
cristo said:
Congratulations on moving out, Jason. It's good to hear that you've got yourself sorted.

Just to pick up on another note, it seems amazingly cheap to live over there. I pay the equivalent of your monthly rent per week to live in my house!

I wouldn't mind that if I get a job that pays fairly well. My expectations aren't high. Any job to get me started, and I'll work from there.
 
  • #19
$380/month and it comes with a free cute girl? Damn. I pay $1100/month and apparently it doesn't seem to come with any free cute girls. (I already checked all the cupboards. Twice.)

- Warren
 
  • #20
I hope you will be very happy in your new home. Congratulations to you!
 
  • #21
chroot said:
$380/month and it comes with a free cute girl? Damn. I pay $1100/month and apparently it doesn't seem to come with any free cute girls. (I already checked all the cupboards. Twice.)

- Warren

Have you tried checking the above the closet crawlspace?
 
  • #22
G01 said:
Have you tried checking the above the closet crawlspace?

Oh, you're right! I found four cute girls up there. They're a little dusty, though.

- Warren
 
  • #23
chroot said:
$380/month and it comes with a free cute girl? Damn. I pay $1100/month and apparently it doesn't seem to come with any free cute girls. (I already checked all the cupboards. Twice.)

- Warren

Man, you're totally getting ripped off. :bugeye:

Haha, I see good times ahead. :biggrin:

Note: I don't plan on hooking up with roommates! That's trouble.
 
  • #24
Cool man, sounds great!
 
  • #25
Well, it looks like I'm not getting tuition now. My parents are back into a fight about money again.

I'm moving anyways though. I can't handle it anymore. I have to find a way to make the month of August go by really fast.

I'm so looking forward to moving like thousands of miles away. I figured once the school year comes, time will fly and I'll be gone.

Note: It's so bad that I'm changing my name after school so they can't track me anywhere!
 
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  • #26
JasonRox said:
Well, it looks like I'm not getting tuition now. My parents are back into a fight about money again.

I'm moving anyways though. I can't handle it anymore. I have to find a way to make the month of August go by really fast.

I'm so looking forward to moving like thousands of miles away. I figured once the school year comes, time will fly and I'll be gone.

Note: It's so bad that I'm changing my name after school so they can't track me anywhere!

Just take it easy dude. Once you live farther away, things will change and such drastic changes/decisions like changing your name or never talking to them again won't be necessary.
 
  • #27
Change your name to something funny like Art Vandelay. And when someone asks you what you do for a living you tell them, "Import/export".
 
  • #28
Your parents may not be your best friends, and may not understand, but are probably not your worst enemy. You have little to lose by discussing your plans with them. You might be surprised.
 
  • #29
Good luck with the move!

But only $5000 in debt -- you should look at how much it costs in the UK now! And suing your parents :confused: I hope it's not just over this tutition thing and, whatever it is, you don't lose contact with them; that certainly isn't worth being $5k out of debt.
 
  • #30
Beeza said:
Just take it easy dude. Once you live farther away, things will change and such drastic changes/decisions like changing your name or never talking to them again won't be necessary.

Well, they are stalker type people. I have no idea. Pure drama queens like you don't even know.

My mom think it makes for sense to pay $500 in lawyer fees to try and get this tuition this "straigthened out" rather than just paying what it is now, and I pay the difference of like $300 or something. Instead what's going to happen is that she's going to pay $500 where lawyers will delay the whole thing and I'm stuck footing the whole tuition bill. So, I was like... mom what situation do you think is going to help me more? Me paying $300 or you guys delaying it so you don't have to pay at all and I'm stuck paying $5000? She's like, I don't care. I'm getting a lawyer. They did this for 5 years in a row. She said she's trying to help, which is a load of bull****. She complains about her lawyer fees, but she's only paid like $5000 in lawyer fees since the beginning and I paid like $20000 in tuition while working at minimum wage! Of course, it's cheaper to pay a lawyer than my tuition.

Honestly, you think it's not necessary to never talk to them again, but it is. My mom said that once I move out to never come back. So, I'll do it in the literal sense that she could never track me. Because if I don't, she'll be her stalker/drama self and always find out what I'm up even if it's miles and miles away. Her friends do it for crying out loud. They help each other on stalking.
 

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