Which muscle car jokes always make you laugh?

  • Thread starter Pre-AlgebraDude
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In summary: TV. He has it hooked up to Dish so he can watch whatever he wants. :eek:In summary, Daniel likes American muscle cars, especially those from Ford and Jeep. His dream car is a Hemi Superbird. He does not care for imports, Dodge, GM, or Mercedes-Benz. He prefers European cars.
  • #1
Pre-AlgebraDude
6
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What's your favorite muscle car? Mine's a 1965 Ford Mustang Fastback 3/4-speed manual trasmission.

What's yours?
 
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  • #2
Muscle car?Could i consider limos,too?If so,then an Audi A8,12 cyl. in W,420HP with all extensions (full option).

Some would go,for the latest version of Maybach,but i like Audi.

Daniel.
 
  • #3
You like limos?

Have you seen those stretch hummers? Those things are huge...no, that's an understatement...

Limos arent' muscle cars...they're just cars.

I'm an all-american guy, so I don't care much for imports, whether they be Asian, European, etc...just Ford and Jeep. Dodge is okay, just not Chrysler...don't like GM at all.
 
  • #4
Americans companies were the last to think of quality.

Do you really think that's a good thing?

I'd go European all they way.

Lotus Elise. :!) :eek: :bugeye: :biggrin: :blushing: :shy: :-p :cool:
 
  • #5
Although it's been rotting away in my backyard for over 20 years, (I'd need about $50,000 to fix it up properly), my pet is a one-of-a-kind '72 GTX Roadrunner. 650hp 440. It wouldn't stand a chance against Hypatia's little toy, but I sure put a lot of Porsches and 'Vettes in their place. The valves floated at 6,500 rpm, so I shifted at 6,400. 65mph in 1st, 85 in 2nd, 115 in 3rd, and 4th is a .73:1 overdrive. :biggrin: (And she'd go sideways on the 2-3 shift.)
My absolute dream car, though, is a Hemi Superbird. The Bugatti Veyron impresses the hell out of me too. :bugeye:
 
  • #6
I can't explain it...I have always just loved American cars. Don't know why.

650 HP? Dang...you got a lot runnin' under that hood...

Aston Martin has come out with a ridiculously over priced car over $100,000. It's so freakin' small...but Europeans are expensive...I saw where a Porsche is over 200...

Who watches all the old muscle car shows on SPEED like American Muscle Car and Car Crazy? I tried to e-mail Car Crazy but couldn't figure out how.

Has anybody noticed the striking resemblence (sp?) between the '06 Mazda MX-5 Miata and the Pontiac Solstice? Except for the tail end they are pretty much the same car on the outside...plus Ford owns a part of Mazda so I'm sure that puts Ford and GM on not-so-good terms...

I was reading a magazine called MPH and it showed some bad accidents with expensive cars...a brand-new Porsche Carrera jumped over a wall on a highway into a whole line of speeding on-coming traffic, a hummer h2 fell into a big frozen lake (the caption was "How it happened:Turns out 6400 pounds and thin ice don't mix very well).

I read Mercedes-Benz has the fastest sedan in the world...0-60 in 4.2 seconds. The magazine said "holy crap", which is a big understatement. And a rich folks car too...they wouldn't want to do that in that expensive a car...might get a bug squished on their windshield...
 
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  • #7
Pre-AlgebraDude said:
Who watches all the old muscle car shows on SPEED like American Muscle Car and Car Crazy?
Has anybody noticed the striking resemblence (sp?) between the '06 Mazda MX-5 Miata and the Pontiac Solstice? Except for the tail end they are pretty much the same car on the outside...plus Ford owns a part of Mazda so I'm sure that puts Ford and GM on not-so-good terms...
I don't get cable, so have no access to shows like that. One of the problems of fuel-efficient vehicles is that they have to share an awful lot of design features. You can't alter aerodynamic principles for the sake of being unique. I can remember being able to name every car I saw from 100yds away, because they were all different. If a '65 Stang went by, we sure as hell knew it wasn't a '68 GTO. Nowadays I don't even bother to keep up.
Speaking of 'different' the one that I'm currently driving (well, when my license comes back), is a '76 El Camino, with factory topper, frame-stacked on top of a 4WD-only '74 Jimmy, with 33" Trailblazer tires and a '76 Olds 455. It might not pass everything on the road, but it can sure as hell climb over it. :biggrin:
 
  • #8
Funny...I always thought all the old muscle cars shared a lot of the same features...especially Chevy, excluding the El Camino.

You must be crazy...an El Camino on a 4WD Jimmy frame? What kind of tranny you got on that thing?

I saw a GMC Yukon on this HUGE frame parked in none other than the WAL-MART parking lot. The suspension and frame alone were taller than my mom's van! They were past the top of it!

I read in this magazine this guy fixed up his Ford Excursion and he called it "the Shark". If you know how the back tail gate is split in half, he put a TV screen on each half of the tailgate with a huge sound system (I think he had 5 woofers), on a huge frame (I think it was about 19 inches) with huge 38 inch tires. He had television screens galore on the inside (and there was a tiny paiting of what he thought of Chevy trucks on the back, lol)
 
  • #9
Pre-AlgebraDude said:
I saw a GMC Yukon on this HUGE frame parked in none other than the WAL-MART parking lot. The suspension and frame alone were taller than my mom's van! They were past the top of it!

And then they wonder why they can't afford to shop anywhere other than Wal-Mart. :rolleyes: I don't think one should have to carry around a ladder to get into their vehicles, but that's just me I guess. :confused:
 
  • #10
My dad can't figure out why I like Ford trucks. He says they are so big "you have to get a runnin' jump to get in 'em!"

I can't figure out why people will go out and buy a Nissan Armada tomorrow when gas is about to hit $3.00 in a a month, or maybe a few weeks. My dad says they not only want to show their neighbors how important they are and how much money they have by being able to afford an SUV, but show their neighbors they can afford to feed it as well.
 
  • #11
Pre-AlgebraDude said:
My dad can't figure out why I like Ford trucks. He says they are so big "you have to get a runnin' jump to get in 'em!"

My parents have always owned Ford trucks. Every few years they upgrade. I think they are hideous monsters anymore...um, the trucks I mean. And yes, then they complain about the price of gas and that they can't afford to come visit me. :rolleyes: We're a Ford family, but only because my great-uncle and aunt owned a dealership, my stepdad worked there as a mechanic and mom worked in the office, and I used to run around the showroom floor giving "Tizzy" the salesman a hard time when I was only in first grade. You know, I never knew his real name...I think Tizzy was a short version of his last name. Oh, and then there was Blackie, the black lab who showed up as a stray and got adopted by the mechanics. She was a really sweet dog.

Anyway, I'm perfectly happy with my little Focus. I get good mileage and pass the SUVs on the uphills. Well, that's probably just because their owners don't know how to drive...sort of like when I used to think minivans were the slowest vehicles on Earth until I rented one for a road trip and learned just how much pep they really have. What I lack in size, I make up for with my lead foot! :smile:
 
  • #12
Pre-AlgebraDude said:
Funny...I always thought all the old muscle cars shared a lot of the same features...especially Chevy, excluding the El Camino.
Actually, there were different Caminos depending upon what year they were made. Mine is based on a Malibu, but others used a modified Impala, and there were one or two more. There was even one called a Sprint, that was just a tad smaller and manufactured by GMC truck division instead of Chev. I get away with my bumper height because my mechanic wanted a black interior, so he used the dash out of a Sprint. I took the VIN from it instead of the door, so it's registered as a truck. He built the thing for himself and it was off-road only, plus used for pushing vehicles around his shop yard. It took over 2 1/2 hours to get the thing registered to make it street-legal. I'd been bugging him about it for years, and he finally decided to sell it right at the time my Camaro died.:approve:

Pre-AlgebraDude said:
You must be crazy...
When have you ever heard me claim otherwise? :confused:

Pre-AlgebraDude said:
What kind of tranny you got on that thing?
She's a weird mix, alright. Custom welded-in motor mounts to fit the Olds motor into the bay; custom bellhousing to mount a Chev Turbo 350 auto (with manual valve-body so I can shift it myself or let it go auto) onto the Olds motor; custom adaptor plate to mount the GMC transfer case to the Chev tranny... And it has no 2WD option. It still has the two levers, for HI/LOW range and 2/4, but there's a differential inside the transfer case. The way I drive it normally sends 70% power to the rear axle and 30% to the front. Shifting it back locks the centre differential into a 50/50 split. And believe it or not, in low range it'll chirp those 33-inchers going into 2nd. :biggrin:
 
  • #13
My son and I own several cars, my favorite being the 69 cheville, 350, fuel cell, nitrous, custom exhaust. We raced it last year but were told if we wanted to continue, we'd half to install roll bars ect. We didn't want to change the body that much.
His favorite is the 1970 mustang mach 1, 351 cleveland, all original. We were even able to find factory vinyl to re-cover the seats.
Projects in the works, 75 camaro {ick } and a 62 caddie.
 
  • #14
I used to be real impressed by Hemi Roadrunners, Shelby Mustangs & Sunbeam Tigers. It'd be great to restore anyone of them.

But these days, I seem to have a silly desire for a Chevy with dancing hydraulics. :smile:
 
  • #15
I had my dream car...a '96 VW GTI 2.0L, but it had only two doors, and wasn't exactly the perfect family car. So, I "upgraded" to a '00 VW Golf 1.8T-good gas mileage plus 150HP for a 4 cylinder. European cars are definitely the way to go. American cars may have a good engine, but I just don't like the style.
 
  • #16
Moonbear said:
Anyway, I'm perfectly happy with my little Focus. I get good mileage and pass the SUVs on the uphills. Well, that's probably just because their owners don't know how to drive...sort of like when I used to think minivans were the slowest vehicles on Earth until I rented one for a road trip and learned just how much pep they really have. What I lack in size, I make up for with my lead foot! :smile:

Focus, huh? Does it run well? My grandpa had an old Crown Vic (think it was an '86)and when you gassed up it would miss, bog down, and quit. You had to pull over somewhere and pull it into neutral to start it up again. Very dangerous car.

Danger said:
Actually, there were different Caminos depending upon what year they were made. Mine is based on a Malibu, but others used a modified Impala, and there were one or two more. There was even one called a Sprint, that was just a tad smaller and manufactured by GMC truck division instead of Chev.

Oh, well, I just got into muscle cars recently (I'm only 13), but I think I sort of did pick up on the difference from the ones I've seen on the road (quite a few, actually)and the ones I've seen on SPEED.

Danger said:
Pre-AlgebraDude said:
You must be crazy...

When have you ever heard me claim otherwise?

Well, I haven't been here for awhile, so I don't know many people. I know my thing says December, but I hardly ever came until now.
 
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  • #17
Pre-AlgebraDude said:
(I'm only 13)
In that case, you should probably avoid about 90% of my posts, and don't go anywhere near Moonbear! :eek:
 
  • #18
Most Muscle Cars had more than 300HP. :rolleyes:

Note: Maybe on the flyer, but not under the hood.
 
  • #19
Kerrie said:
I had my dream car...a '96 VW GTI 2.0L, but it had only two doors, and wasn't exactly the perfect family car.
What'd you do with it? I could carry it as a spare. (It'd be easier to carry than one of my tires.) :biggrin:

JasonRox said:
Most Muscle Cars had more than 300HP. :rolleyes:

Note: Maybe on the flyer, but not under the hood.
Strangely enough, out of all of the manufacturers, Mopar products tended to underestimate their power. A GM advertising 350hp might have had about 335-345. A Dodge claiming the same would more likely have 360-365. And none of them, of course, said how much got to the wheels. They were going by brake horsepower measured at the flywheel.
 
  • #20
Kerrie!

Moonbear!

I'm impressed with your choice of automobiles. You can both have gold stars, and pats on heads.



Anyway, I think I'll continue the trend of stating muscle cars which aren't muscle cars at all, just, well, cars...

My Citroen Saxo, at a whopping 99bhp. Good job it weighs well under a tonne...
 
  • #21
Pre-AlgebraDude said:
Focus, huh? Does it run well? My grandpa had an old Crown Vic (think it was an '86)and when you gassed up it would miss, bog down, and quit. You had to pull over somewhere and pull it into neutral to start it up again. Very dangerous car.

Actually, it runs pretty well, once you get used to having to bring it in every 6 months for another recalled part. :rolleyes: That's Ford for ya. I don't mind that much though, because none of the recalls have actually caused me any problems, so I just bring it in when it's time for my regular oil change and let them take care of it then. When I bought it, I negotiated that they'd provide me with loaner cars any time I brought it in while it's still under warranty (most people are shocked I can get a loaner car from Ford, they always think of that as a service you only get from luxury car dealers; I don't know if I could finegle that anymore, but at least I convinced the salesman at the time)...anyway, so it doesn't bother me if they have to keep the car for the day for replacing recalls because I still have a loaner to drive around, and I figure at this rate, they're replacing my car one piece at a time. None of it has had anything to do with the engine. Actually, most of the recalls are all related to a problem the factory had in a run of cars that they didn't get all the parts rust-proofed properly, so they've extended my warranty to 10 years on parts that are affected by that.

Compared to other cars in its class that I've driven, I really do like it. It has more pep than you'd expect, a good turn radius, and has a very tight, sporty feel to the handling. It's pretty dent-resistant too. I drove it off the ramp of a towing trailer (trying to move out of MI in a blizzard :rolleyes:), hung it up pretty good on the trailer (had to jack up the car and deflate the trailer tires to pull the trailer out from under the car), and had a mechanic go over the car with a fine tooth comb; couldn't even find a scratch!
 
  • #22
brewnog said:
My Citroen Saxo, at a whopping 99bhp. Good job it weighs well under a tonne...
That's one that got away, drat it all! My cousin gave me his '66 DS19 Citroen which was supposed to be a restoration project until he had to give up on it. My initial plan was to transplant the suspension into the Roadrunner, but that just wasn't going to happen. Plan 2 was that I was going to install a blown and injected 392 hemi in the back seat, running through a flipped Toronado transaxle. Nice tinted windows in the back, and the wheels all tucked in so it would look stock. It turned out that there just wasn't enough of the body still sound. Oh well... maybe someday... :biggrin:
 
  • #23
Moonbear said:
Actually, it runs pretty well, once you get used to having to bring it in every 6 months for another recalled part. :rolleyes: That's Ford for ya. I don't mind that much though, because none of the recalls have actually caused me any problems, so I just bring it in when it's time for my regular oil change and let them take care of it then. When I bought it, I negotiated that they'd provide me with loaner cars any time I brought it in while it's still under warranty (most people are shocked I can get a loaner car from Ford, they always think of that as a service you only get from luxury car dealers; I don't know if I could finegle that anymore, but at least I convinced the salesman at the time)...anyway, so it doesn't bother me if they have to keep the car for the day for replacing recalls because I still have a loaner to drive around, and I figure at this rate, they're replacing my car one piece at a time. None of it has had anything to do with the engine. Actually, most of the recalls are all related to a problem the factory had in a run of cars that they didn't get all the parts rust-proofed properly, so they've extended my warranty to 10 years on parts that are affected by that.

Compared to other cars in its class that I've driven, I really do like it. It has more pep than you'd expect, a good turn radius, and has a very tight, sporty feel to the handling. It's pretty dent-resistant too. I drove it off the ramp of a towing trailer (trying to move out of MI in a blizzard :rolleyes:), hung it up pretty good on the trailer (had to jack up the car and deflate the trailer tires to pull the trailer out from under the car), and had a mechanic go over the car with a fine tooth comb; couldn't even find a scratch!

You got a LOANER from Ford? You must be a bloody good negotiator...

My dad had a Ford Courier (sp?)back in the '70s. It wound up on the chain twice because it quit on him. My grandpa pulled up in the FREAKIN' PARKING LOT of the East Tennessee Ford dealer with PEOPLE STANDING OUT THERE WAITING TO PURCHASE with my dad on a chain! He got out of the truck, mad as a hornet, and said "You don't want a lemon go somewhere else!", and some people ACTUALLY LEFT!. I cracked up when I heard it. They wouldn't fix it, even though it was still under warranty, and told him that they "fixed" it by pulling a hose loose so he got a cabful of RAW exhaust. Then he said he'd never buy so much as a can of oil from them ever again.

Then my grandma had a Pinto that the handle fell off of two weeks after she bought it. They wouldn't fix that either...

I went to a humor site that said Ford stands for "F*cked on rebuilt Dodge" and "Forced On Reluctant Drivers". This is true because my dad got my grandpa's Crown Vic and HATED it.

Anyone seen the Jeep Hurricane concept? A hemi in the front AND back, dual transaxles, and has a turn radius of 0 for crying out loud. 'Course I'm thinkin' if you don't handle it right on a turn you're going to go for a spin, and get nailed. But it is so big it would feel like a fly lighting on your shoulder.
 
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  • #24
Pre-AlgebraDude said:
You got a LOANER from Ford? You must be a bloody good negotiator...

I don't think I'm that good of a negotiator, but that was an easy one to argue for since the whole reason I was buying a new car was to avoid the hassles of repeated visits to the shop for repairs. My time is important to me, so if I'm going to be stuck without a car when I need it because of a manufacturer defect, I wasn't going to buy the car. The salesman was also a friend of a friend kind of thing...not so much that he was going to cut me a great deal since I didn't know him at all until I walked into the dealership, but more that I knew he was only a few sales away from meeting some quota he needed to reach in a day or two to get an award, so he REALLY wanted to make that sale that day, especially after we spent the entire afternoon negotiating (you know the routine, I suggest a number, he "checks with his manager," he comes back, tells me he can't quite do that, makes a counteroffer, I say that's too much, give him a slightly higher number than I started with, he "goes back to check with his manager," etc.; this is supposed to wear you down, but it doesn't work on me...though, next car I buy, I'm going to remember to pack a lunch and start the negotiations about 11 AM. :devil: It's all psychological.)

I went to a humor site that said Ford stands for "F*cked on rebuilt Dodge" and "Forced On Reluctant Drivers".

:smile: There's a ton of those! Found On Road Dead, Fix Or Repair Daily...
 
  • #25
Moonbear said:
I don't think I'm that good of a negotiator, but that was an easy one to argue for since the whole reason I was buying a new car was to avoid the hassles of repeated visits to the shop for repairs. My time is important to me, so if I'm going to be stuck without a car when I need it because of a manufacturer defect, I wasn't going to buy the car. The salesman was also a friend of a friend kind of thing...not so much that he was going to cut me a great deal since I didn't know him at all until I walked into the dealership, but more that I knew he was only a few sales away from meeting some quota he needed to reach in a day or two to get an award, so he REALLY wanted to make that sale that day, especially after we spent the entire afternoon negotiating (you know the routine, I suggest a number, he "checks with his manager," he comes back, tells me he can't quite do that, makes a counteroffer, I say that's too much, give him a slightly higher number than I started with, he "goes back to check with his manager," etc.; this is supposed to wear you down, but it doesn't work on me...though, next car I buy, I'm going to remember to pack a lunch and start the negotiations about 11 AM. :devil: It's all psychological.)



:smile: There's a ton of those! Found On Road Dead, Fix Or Repair Daily...

My dad isn't exactly an expert in the field of psychology...he tries, and fails dismally...

I know, those jokes are hilarious. Pinto:Put In Nickel To Operate, they are hilarious.

http://www.musclecarclub.com/humor/humor-automotive.shtml

Go there. Some hilarious stuff.
 
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FAQ: Which muscle car jokes always make you laugh?

1. What makes muscle car jokes different from other types of jokes?

Muscle car jokes often involve references to specific car models and their features, as well as the stereotypical characteristics of muscle car owners. They also tend to be more physical and action-oriented, rather than relying on wordplay or puns.

2. Are muscle car jokes only funny to car enthusiasts?

No, while a basic understanding of muscle cars may enhance the humor of these jokes, they can still be funny to anyone who appreciates a good laugh. The exaggerated and over-the-top nature of muscle car jokes can be entertaining for a wide range of audiences.

3. What are some common themes in muscle car jokes?

Some common themes in muscle car jokes include speed and power, the rivalry between different car brands, and the stereotypes associated with muscle car owners. These jokes often play on the idea of machismo and masculinity.

4. Are muscle car jokes offensive or derogatory?

While some may argue that muscle car jokes perpetuate negative stereotypes, they are ultimately meant to be lighthearted and humorous. As with any type of joke, it is important to consider the audience and the context in which the joke is being told.

5. Can you give an example of a muscle car joke?

Sure! What do you call a muscle car that can't hold its liquor? A 'stang-over!

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