Why Do Some Women Use Threats of Castration in Relationships?

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The discussion centers around the concept of "nice guys" and the misconceptions surrounding them. Participants express a preference for genuinely nice men who are respectful, affectionate, and confident, rather than those who are overly submissive or insecure. Many argue that being nice should not equate to being a pushover or lacking self-confidence. The conversation critiques the behavior of some self-identified nice guys who expect romantic interest from women while presenting themselves as just friends, leading to feelings of bitterness when their affections are unreciprocated. There is a consensus that true confidence, combined with kindness, is attractive, while insecurity and desperation are not. The dialogue emphasizes the importance of self-love and the need for nice guys to assert their own needs and desires in relationships, rather than sacrificing their own happiness for the sake of others. Overall, the discussion highlights the complexities of dating dynamics and the need for balance between being nice and maintaining self-respect.
  • #51
Math Is Hard said:
It's an inbreeding thang. Did I ever tell you about my webbed toes? :-p
yeah you told me, you probably don't remember though you were pretty hammered. I notice you cashed the check though where's the feet picture you promised.
 
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  • #52
let me go ask Uncle Daddy - he's still got the negatives. He might be out in the truck with Lurleen tonight so I don't know when I can get back to you.
 
  • #53
The name 'nice guys' is a little bit insulting to the men who are nice, as a 'nice guy' is thought of as a wimp or a push over with not much personality.

Nice is thus down graded into something which is not a good thing to be - something which is bad for individuals and society.

In reality thinking about other people and doing nice things does not impair chances with women. It is lack of charisma and being a wimp which does this.
 
  • #54
I thought this was an O.D.E.(Ordinary Differential Equation) to us nice guys to solve? I'm sooo disappointed!
 
  • #55
polyb said:
I thought this was an O.D.E.(Ordinary Differential Equation) to us nice guys to solve? I'm sooo disappointed!


LOL. :smile:

I really did laugh at that. God i am a geek.
 
  • #56
plus said:
The name 'nice guys' is a little bit insulting to the men who are nice, as a 'nice guy' is thought of as a wimp or a push over with not much personality.

I really do hate that. Confusing kindness with weakness. One quote I absolute love, I think, sums this right up.

"I learned that it is the weak who are cruel, and that gentleness is to
be expected only from the strong."
-Leo Rosten
 
  • #57
plus said:
The name 'nice guys' is a little bit insulting to the men who are nice, as a 'nice guy' is thought of as a wimp or a push over with not much personality.

I think this is where the confusion comes in. When women say we want a nice guy, we mean genuinely nice, not a wimpy push-over puppy. But, when we wind up being followed around by a wimpy push-over puppy, and give him the brush-off, then he goes whining that women all say they want a nice guy and he's a nice guy so women must not mean it when they say they want a nice guy. From the wimpy push-over puppy perspective, even the genuinely nice guys that women date probably appear to be jerks because even a nice guy isn't going to give a wimpy push-over puppy the time of day because they're just too darn annoying to be around.

Bottom line...be yourself and you'll have a far better chance of finding a woman who suits you best.
 
  • #58
Moonbear said:
Bottom line...be yourself and you'll have a far better chance of finding a woman who suits you best.


That's a moot point, these 'nice guys' are being themselves. No one would choose to act that way if they weren't naturally like that. If they're stupid enough that they would, we don't want them reproducing, so they should keep acting that way.
 
  • #59
Moonbear said:
I think this is where the confusion comes in. When women say we want a nice guy, we mean genuinely nice, not a wimpy push-over puppy. But, when we wind up being followed around by a wimpy push-over puppy, and give him the brush-off, then he goes whining that women all say they want a nice guy and he's a nice guy so women must not mean it when they say they want a nice guy. From the wimpy push-over puppy perspective, even the genuinely nice guys that women date probably appear to be jerks because even a nice guy isn't going to give a wimpy push-over puppy the time of day because they're just too darn annoying to be around.
hmm... quite a few dog references.. :-p
but a very good explanation. :smile:
 
  • #60
Math Is Hard said:
hmm... quite a few dog references.. :-p
but a very good explanation. :smile:


Think it might have been a freudian thing?

Maybe she was thinking about *tribdog*?
 
  • #61
I thought the 'dog' thing was Pavlov. :biggrin:
 
  • #62
Astronuc said:
I thought the 'dog' thing was Pavlov. :biggrin:
so, it was possibly a Pavlovian slip? :smile:
 
  • #63
Math Is Hard said:
so, it was possibly a Pavlovian slip? :smile:

:smile: *drool* Maybe. :smile:
 
  • #64
Moonbear said:
:smile: *drool* Maybe. :smile:


When PFers make an intellectual joke...


Why can't normal people be like this? :cry:
 
  • #65
franznietzsche said:
When PFers make an intellectual joke...


Why can't normal people be like this? :cry:

Normal people don't find it funny, they don't even get the joke. Watch what you wish for, because if normal people were like this, we'd all be normal, and what fun is that? :-p
 
  • #66
Moonbear said:
Normal people don't find it funny, they don't even get the joke. Watch what you wish for, because if normal people were like this, we'd all be normal, and what fun is that? :-p


Given that i wouldn't inevitably despise 9 out of every ten attractive women i meet, very. Very, very fun.
 
  • #67
franznietzsche said:
Given that i wouldn't inevitably despise 9 out of every ten attractive women i meet, very. Very, very fun.

Meh, you say that now, but if all the women were like that, you'd get bored of it pretty quickly. You'd be craving the morons just for variety. :smile:
 
  • #68
franznietzsche said:
Given that i wouldn't inevitably despise 9 out of every ten attractive women i meet, very. Very, very fun.

You still got that one woman.
 
  • #69
Chrono said:
You still got that one woman.


That remains to be seen. Sure, she's there, whether or not i actually have her though, is another issue entirely. We'll see. 12 1/2 weeks till summer.
 
  • #70
franznietzsche said:
That remains to be seen. Sure, she's there, whether or not i actually have her though, is another issue entirely. We'll see. 12 1/2 weeks till summer.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you. Though, while you're at it, there's a PF babe here who's your age and she's taken a little notice of you...when are you going to post a picture of yourself for her? (In that other thread there...see...she's flirting a little.) :biggrin:
 
  • #71
Moonbear said:
I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you. Though, while you're at it, there's a PF babe here who's your age and she's taken a little notice of you...when are you going to post a picture of yourself for her? (In that other thread there...see...she's flirting a little.) :biggrin:


lol, well i'll be in a tux this weekend, so maybe i'll take some pictures and post em.

I'm not real big on pictures really, i don't have any pictures of anything. Well, except when i find stuff on the internet and photoshop it. But i don't ever take pictures.
 
  • #72
franznietzsche said:
lol, well i'll be in a tux this weekend, so maybe i'll take some pictures and post em.

I'm not real big on pictures really, i don't have any pictures of anything. Well, except when i find stuff on the internet and photoshop it. But i don't ever take pictures.

So, what's the big event that you'll be wearing a tux? Someone will have to have a camera to get a picture of you. There are at least a few PF gals close to your age here (see, I'm helping up the ante for you, make it look like there's lots of competition so she better snag you quick! :wink:)
 
  • #73
Moonbear said:
So, what's the big event that you'll be wearing a tux? Someone will have to have a camera to get a picture of you. There are at least a few PF gals close to your age here (see, I'm helping up the ante for you, make it look like there's lots of competition so she better snag you quick! :wink:)

lol, I'm playing in a concert at our uni PAC actually. Its going to be a good concert too, we've got some great pieces. It also happesn to be my 18th birthday. :biggrin:
 
  • #74
franznietzsche said:
lol, I'm playing in a concert at our uni PAC actually. Its going to be a good concert too, we've got some great pieces. It also happesn to be my 18th birthday. :biggrin:
What instrument do you play?

WOOHOO! A birthday party for Franz! :approve:
 
  • #75
Evo said:
What instrument do you play?

WOOHOO! A birthday party for Franz! :approve:


Baritone Sax.

Got a nice horn too. Courtesy of the uni of course ($6,000 horn).
 
  • #76
Moonbear said:
So, what's the big event that you'll be wearing a tux? Someone will have to have a camera to get a picture of you. There are at least a few PF gals close to your age here (see, I'm helping up the ante for you, make it look like there's lots of competition so she better snag you quick! :wink:)

Someone likes to play matchmaker eh? Just how would i go about snagging him anyways...? I'm not sure how to go about starting a relationship on an online forum. Sides, he said he was so sexy, can't blame me for being interested in that! Let's see that pic of him in a tux... maybe i'll figure out a way to snag him afterall... (oh and if anyone thinks they're competition: you better step off, I'm territorial grrrr)
 
  • #77
franznietzsche said:
Got a nice horn too.

Look at that, already bragging about your attributes for Gale! :approve:

Gale, he gets grouchy sometimes, but I think that's just because he needs the love of a good woman. And he's a musician too...what more can a gal ask for than a physicist musician...he uses both sides of his brain!

That concert sounds cool! You definitely need to get some pics of you in a tux. You know women can't resist men in tuxes!
 
  • #78
Moonbear said:
Look at that, already bragging about your attributes for Gale! :approve:

Gale, he gets grouchy sometimes, but I think that's just because he needs the love of a good woman. And he's a musician too...what more can a gal ask for than a physicist musician...he uses both sides of his brain!

That concert sounds cool! You definitely need to get some pics of you in a tux. You know women can't resist men in tuxes!

That's the whole point of a tux. :approve:
 
  • #79
Moonbear said:
Though, while you're at it, there's a PF babe here who's your age and she's taken a little notice of you...when are you going to post a picture of yourself for her? (In that other thread there...see...she's flirting a little.) :biggrin:

And who is that, exactly?
 
  • #80
This thread can't be dying already.
 
  • #81
franznietzsche said:
This thread can't be dying already.

well its a thread about Nice guys... I'm surprised you care... Well we still need a pic of you and hmm, chrono he was talking about me... and back to the original topic... i really prefer nice guys over mean, insenstive, or rude boys any day.
 
  • #82
Gale17 said:
well its a thread about Nice guys... I'm surprised you care... Well we still need a pic of you and hmm, chrono he was talking about me... and back to the original topic... i really prefer nice guys over mean, insenstive, or rude boys any day.

I am what I am. I make no excuses or apologies.
 
  • #83
It's funny how girls say they like nice guys when they never go for them.
 
  • #84
JasonRox said:
It's funny how girls say they like nice guys when they never go for them.

i go for nice guys all the time... i know most girls don't, which is a lot of why i do. But really, i'd prefer a nice, intelligent guy who i can stand to look at for a while over anything else. The only reason i haven't dated more nice guys is cause they rarely ask anyone out, and its very hard to get them to open up. Most nice guys seem to be awful shy too...
 
  • #85
Gale17 said:
i go for nice guys all the time... i know most girls don't, which is a lot of why i do. But really, i'd prefer a nice, intelligent guy who i can stand to look at for a while over anything else. The only reason i haven't dated more nice guys is cause they rarely ask anyone out, and its very hard to get them to open up. Most nice guys seem to be awful shy too...


That's called being deferential. Its important to be deferential, otherwise, you're not nice. Not nice at all.
 
  • #86
Gale17 said:
The only reason i haven't dated more nice guys is cause they rarely ask anyone out, and its very hard to get them to open up.

That's when you got to be the aggressor and ask them out. They'll start opening up when they figure out it's in their best interest to do so.
 
  • #87
Chrono said:
That's when you got to be the aggressor and ask them out. They'll start opening up when they figure out it's in their best interest to do so.

It doesn't work. I've tried and they just get more flustered.
 
  • #88
Moonbear said:
It doesn't work. I've tried and they just get more flustered.

I guess you have to keep trying. It may take more than one time to do it.
 
  • #89
Chrono said:
I guess you have to keep trying. It may take more than one time to do it.

NO it takes the nice guy learning to just get up and do it himself. No amount of womanly attention will do that.
 
  • #90
Chrono said:
That's when you got to be the aggressor and ask them out. They'll start opening up when they figure out it's in their best interest to do so.
A shotgun helps. Then they truly understand it's in their best interest. :wink:
 
  • #91
JasonRox said:
It's funny how girls say they like nice guys when they never go for them.

I commented on this a page back (or so). Part of the problem seems to be the confusion between nice and push-over.

I can assure you I've never dated a guy who wasn't nice. Well, that's not entirely true. I've gone out on dates with guys who were jerks, but I didn't realize they were jerks until I got out on a date with them. I didn't go on second dates with them. I have also dated two rather pathetic push-over types. One was when I was still in high school, and that lasted a month or two because I didn't know any better and started out thinking it was sweet of him to be so attentive, then realized he was clinging to me everywhere I went and it wasn't so sweet anymore. Then he didn't even get it when I dumped him, so I wound up screaming at him to go away and stay away in the middle of the crowded hall in the high school during class changes when I finally got so fed up I couldn't take it anymore; he finally got the hint then. The other one only lasted a few dates. Basically, the first time I visited his apartment and noticed it was decorated in a very feminine style, I asked if he had previously had a live-in girlfriend (I was suspicious if he still had another girlfriend even) and he told me his MOM decorated his apartment for him. :bugeye: It was downhill from there as it quickly became apparent he was a complete momma's boy. Being a momma's boy is not synonymous with being a nice guy. I want someone with a spine.
 
  • #92
Chrono said:
I guess you have to keep trying. It may take more than one time to do it.

no... no it doesn't work... I've tried too... they get scared, flustered as moonbear said. trust me... i wish it were so easy.
 
  • #93
Math Is Hard said:
A shotgun helps. Then they truly understand it's in their best interest. :wink:

:smile:

I don't ask them twice. Once they know I'm interested, if they realize they want to go out, then it's their turn to ask. If they can't get over their shyness enough to even ask out someone who just asked them out and is clearly interested, then it's not going to work out anyway.
 
  • #94
Math Is Hard said:
A shotgun helps. Then they truly understand it's in their best interest. :wink:

I knife would work well, also, I'm sure.

You never did say how it's going with your sister. :-p
 
  • #95
Math Is Hard said:
A shotgun helps. Then they truly understand it's in their best interest. :wink:


I like. Very direct, forward. Very impressive.
 
  • #96
Chrono said:
I knife would work well, also, I'm sure.

You never did say how it's going with your sister. :-p

A knife works extremely well! I got two of my previous boyfriends by holding them at knifepoint. Seriously! I think I told those stories somewhere here before. Well, actually, if you count a sword made from a balloon, then it's three. Maybe that's why I've had so much trouble finding a date in this town; I don't carry a knife on me anymore. :devil:
 
  • #97
Moonbear said:
A knife works extremely well! I got two of my previous boyfriends by holding them at knifepoint. Seriously! I think I told those stories somewhere here before. Well, actually, if you count a sword made from a balloon, then it's three. Maybe that's why I've had so much trouble finding a date in this town; I don't carry a knife on me anymore. :devil:

Speaking of knives, I got a bit of a story. It's between a couple of my martial arts buddies. They both, before I started going there, were dating each other. I'm not sure of the whole story between those two, but they ended it off. Anyway, she always threatens him with the word, "castrate".

Not much of a story now that I went through it.
 

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