# Word slips

1. Jul 14, 2008

### wolram

The dodo is a bird that is almost decent by now.

To remove air from a flask, fill it with water, tip the water out, and put the cork in quick before the air can get back in.

The process of turning steam back into water again is called conversation.

A magnet is something you find crawling all over a dead cat.

The Earth makes one resolution every 24 hours.

The cuckoo bird does not lay his own eggs.

To prevent conception when having intercourse, the male wears a condominium.

To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.

Parallel lines never meet, unless you bend one or both of them.

Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.

Geometry teaches us to bisex angles.

A circle is a line which meets its other end without ending.

The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.

The moon is a planet just like the Earth, only it is even deader.

An example of animal breeding is the farmer who mated a bull that gave a great deal of milk with a bull with good meat.

We believe that the reptiles came from the amphibians by spontaneous generation and study of rocks.

English sparrows and starlings eat the farmers grain and soil his corpse.

By self-pollination, the farmer may get a flock of long-haired sheep.

Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.

A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.

A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle.

Blood flows down one leg and up the other.

A person should take a bath once in the summer, and not quite so often in the winter.

The hookworm larvae enters the human body through the soul.

When you haven't got enough iodine in your blood you get a glacier.

It is a well-known fact that a deceased body harms the mind.

Humans are more intelligent than beasts because the human branes have more convulsions.

For fainting: rub the person's chest, or if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead.

For fractures: to see if the limb is broken, wiggle it gently back and forth.

To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.

2. Jul 14, 2008

### TheStatutoryApe

I made a funny slip a while back but unfortunately it is not at all family friendly.

My friend has a tendancy to make double entandres without even realizing it.
Talking about freedom of speech he said...
"And one of these days we'll have to go to special places to be able to say what ever we want. Like a speakeasy or something."

3. Jul 14, 2008

### lisab

Staff Emeritus
Freudian slip joke:

Two psychologists ride together on the elevator on their way to work one morning. One says to the other, "I made the funniest Freudian slip at breakfast this morning! I meant to say, 'Please pass the jam, dear,' but I ended up saying, 'You ruined my life, you #@$%$%^\$!!!!'"

4. Jul 14, 2008

### edward

:rofl::rofl::rofl: