Words of Wisdom: Collecting Wise Old Sayings

[rathma]

For some time now I have been meaning to collect as many "wise old sayings" as possible, so that I have somewhere to turn in times of need. (Other than here, of course. )
I am not-I repeat, NOT-looking for things like, "He who stands on toilet is high on pot." Despite the hilarity that would no doubt ensue from the possesion of many things like that.
I am looking for things like, "He strains to hear a whisper who refuses to hear a shout," or "Only a fool sticks his hand in a hole without looking inside it first." That kind of thing is acceptable.
Gender-oriented sayings are welcome also, like, "Better to have one woman on your side than ten men," for the female side. Or, "A wise man steps softly in the presence of many women," on the male half of the scale. I would prefer male-oriented, being a guy.
I thank you for your input in advance.


Chaos. Disorder. Widespread panic. My work is done here.

 

[Smurf]

Misquotation is, in fact, the pride and privilege of the learned. A widely- read man never quotes accurately, for the rather obvious reason that he has read too widely.

 

[photon]

Hey Rathma, long time no see.

A very wise man once told me, "Never go back for your gun."

 

[pace]

uhhhh ahhh "As each view, so it's view of the Past" - Lord Acton

Only one I can remember now. It must be a proof of how stupid I am.

 

[The Bob]

"It is best to keep your mouth shut and let people think you are a fool than to open your mouth and let people know you are".

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[pace]

"It is best to keep your mouth shut and let people think you are a fool than to open your mouth and let people know you are".

The Bob (2004 ©)

Why so pessimistic Bob :D

 

[Smurf]

A picture is worth a thousand words
-Napoleon

 

[BobG]

"It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceive." - Mark Twain

Oh, you probably want something better than that.

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible." - Walt Disney


Plus, one common sense American proverb.

It is bad luck to fall out of a thirteenth story window on Friday.

 

[Gokul43201]

And never forget this tricky one : "Buy low; sell high"

 

[photon]

The pope told me this one when we lunched last Sunday: Never eat anything bigger than your head.

 

[rathma]

How long have you been friends with the Pope?

Oh, and that rule doesn't apply to reptiles, especially snakes.
--Odd knowledge from Rathma.

 

[photon]

Oh, and that rule doesn't apply to reptiles, especially snakes.
--Odd knowledge from Rathma

That's why you eat so much.

How long have you been friends with the Pope?

Since we hit that bank back in '95, we've been friends ever since.

 

[motai]

"You cannot percieve beauty but with a serene mind"
-Henry David Thoreau

 

[The Bob]

Why so pessimistic Bob :D

Not really pessimistic, just making sure you make a good impression, although I ignore it quite a lot as well.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Some of my favorites. Sources are cited when possible

"I have only made this longer because I have not had the time to make it shorter.“ (Pascal, 1657)

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
-Bertrand Russell

'There must be no barriers for freedom of inquiry. There is no place for dogma in science. The scientist is free, and must be free to ask any question, to doubt any assertion, to seek for any evidence, to correct any errors.' - J. Robert Oppenheimer, (1904-1966)

Experience is what you get immediately after you need it. - Echo 6 Sierra

What do you call the person who graduates last in his or her class, and from the worst medical school in the country? Answer: Doctor.

Some of God’s greatest gifts are unkempt campaign promises - Machiavelli

The man with the gold makes the rules - Machiavelli

The primary cause of all of the worlds problems is low self esteem. - Chopra

"Sometimes a majority simply means that all the fools are on the same side. "

Men see the world as a battle to be won; women see it as a community to be preserved – Lorena Bobbit. Yes I am pulling your leg – Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus.

"Everything that can be invented has been invented."
--Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899

The reasonable man adapts to the world around him, while the unreasonable person tries to change the world to suit him. Conclusion: Change only occurs because of unreasonable people.

A master craftsman who hand-makes luxury sailing yachts reflects on his skills: “I worked long hours for seven years as an apprentice. When I finished my apprenticeship, I thought that I knew how to build a boat. Now [twenty years later] I know that back then, I only knew how to use the tools. I will spend the rest of my life learning how to build a boat.” – name unknown

The superior man cannot be known in little matters, but he may be entrusted with great concerns. The small man may not be entrusted with great concerns, but he may be known in little matters. ----The Confucian Analects, bk. 15:33

For hatred does not cease by hatred at any time: hatred ceases by love — this is the eternal law. ---- Suttapitaka. Dhammapada, 1:5

The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves - Oedipus Rex, l. 1230

This is the bitterest pain among men, to have much knowledge but no power. The Histories of Herodotus, bk. IX, ch. 16

Nothing is easier than self-deceit. For what each man wishes, that he also believes to be true. Third Olynthiac, sec. 19

Much learning does not teach understanding. On the Universe, fragment 16

To be able to practice five things everywhere under heaven constitutes perfect virtue. . . . [They are] gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness, and kindness.-- The Confucian Analects, bk. 17:6

We live, not as we wish to, but as we can. - Lady of Andros, fragment 50
Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow! -- Horace [Quintus Horatius Flaccus] 65 – 8 B.C. Odes, bk. I [23 B.C.], ode xi, last line

Those who know how to win are much more numerous than those who know how to make proper use of their victories. -- Polybius c. 200 – c. 118 B.C.
History, bk. X, 36

...and on the lighter side:
You are more likely to be killed by a pig than by a shark. – Biologist; The History Channel, Beach, Sun, 911 – 7/7/01

Flying a plane is like riding a bike...it’s just harder to put the baseball cards in the spokes. -Robert Stack; Airplane.

 

[humanino]

Alice laughed. "There's no use trying," she said, "One can't believe impossible things."
"I dare say you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age I did it for half an hour a day. Why sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

I don't understand the :

The primary cause of all of the worlds problems is low self esteem. - Chopra

For instance, the major problem of the world today is Georges' high self-estim

No seriously, I does not make sens to me.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I don't understand...No seriously, I does not make sens to me.

Our actions are driven primarily by ego.

http://www.deepakchopra.com/

 

[pace]

Our actions are driven primarily by ego.

Dat is quite quite Spinozistic

 

[humanino]

Thanks for the clarification Ivan Seeking ! I truly did not understand. Yet I like Spinoza. But I don't remember what he said. I know I liked it when I knew

 

[humanino]

More seriously, Spinoza wrote so many things, I don't know how he is linked to the present discussion, but he probably is. Yet I think many scientists, me included, share his identification God=Nature. That is pretty much all I remember about Spinoza. Or maybe : that is the only think Spinoza touched me with (certainly because i did not pay attention enough to the remaining)

 

[Ivan Seeking]

From the activists camp, I guess. I'm not sure where I picked up this one:

"If you're not making enemies then you're not doing enough!"

 

[pace]

hah. That's a good one Ivan :D
And I feel guilty!

More seriously, Spinoza wrote so many things, I don't know how he is linked to the present discussion, but he probably is. Yet I think many scientists, me included, share his identification God=Nature. That is pretty much all I remember about Spinoza. Or maybe : that is the only think Spinoza touched me with (certainly because i did not pay attention enough to the remaining)

His most famous book was about as you said God=Nature, and about the corelation between that, the mind, affects, and bondage of affects, and freedom. His God/Nature/Substance was something that he defined as uncomprehensable, and from it we can percieve different modes and attributes(which is what we actually see and touch). The most interesting thing about the book is imo now is the structurality, and how he turned the personified God into a panteistic view, something that's all around. It's quite easy to read in one way because it's made up point by point, you can just read his propositions without the explanation under, to get a overview and repeat. Still though it's very hard to comprehend, partly because he wrote it in Latin.
There are certain things that's been said of him that's not justifiable, like that he supposedly meant that one should calm down your emotions, which would make him a stoic. Which actually he critizised in his book. What he meant was that certain feelings there can bee too much of, but feelings that touch your whole body and soul(can't remember that word right now, was it enthanasia? something like that) in the good way there cannot be too much of.
Fun facts: Einstein was a fan of Spinoza, and Nietzche built some of his philosophy on him, although he supposedly misunderstood him.

 

[humanino]

Thank you pace for the explanations !

I know I sure misunderstood Nietzche, so I can't tell if he understood anything at all. But probably was he unable to communicate, or I do not have intelligence enough to grasp him. I read Zarathoustra like 4 times, and everytime I thought my previous lecture was really trivial. I gave up after that Yet Zarathoustra is probably his most difficult book. The other I read were way more understandable. I think there is a great quotation from Zarathoustra to post in this thread :
A few drugs from times to times render life enjoyable. Much drugs to end it render death enjoyable
Of course, it is really unfair to make such an out-context excerpt. I also read somewhere that, contrary to his writings, Nietzche was a very calm, gentle and social person. It is hard to believe, unless he was schizophrenic

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I was just reminded of one on the Jim Lehrer News Hour; re Iraq.

One death is a tragedy. A thousand deaths are a statistic.

 

[Chrono]

Something I recently learned.

Faint heart never won fair lady.
-Miguel de Cervantes

 

[jimmy p]

"Never pet a burning dog" - Anon

"Good judgement comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement" - Anon

 

[Tsu]

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

 

[Tsu]

There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".

 

[Evo]

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

 

[Chrono]

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Sounds like you got something to tell.

 

[Tsu]

Sounds like you got something to tell.

Nah. Sorry. For me that would be a no-brainer (unless my memory got so bad that I FORGOT that I took a laxative when it was time for my sleeping pill! However, since I use neither laxatives nor sleeping pills, the point is moot).

It was in a list of words of wisdom just sent to me by a friend. I just thought it was particularly funny.

 

[Math Is Hard]

One of my mama's favorite sayings:

"Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty, but the pig enjoys it."

 

[Tsu]

Nah. Sorry. For me that would be a no-brainer (unless my memory got so bad that I FORGOT that I took a laxative when it was time for my sleeping pill! However, since I use neither laxatives nor sleeping pills, the point is moot).

It was in a list of words of wisdom just sent to me by a friend. I just thought it was particularly funny.

OH! And I see my dear Ivan has STOLEN my friend's words of wisdom and posted them in his LAME JOKES thread! AARRRGGGGGHHHHH!

 

[Tsu]

One of my mama's favorite sayings:

"Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty, but the pig enjoys it."

errrrmmm... but... I'm not sure that would WASH with me. You see, I just LOVE to go and and get real dirty! And wrestling with a pig really almost sounds kinda, you know,... FUN! I've wrestled with sheep before and that was pretty hysterical...

 

[Math Is Hard]

I've wrestled with sheep before and that was pretty hysterical...

Sheep wrestling! That's hilarious! Oh! the things you get up to, Tsu! Sometimes I think Ivan should just follow you around with a video camera! Have we ever seen you on one of those "Funniest Home Videos" shows?

 

[Tsu]

Sheep wrestling! That's hilarious! Oh! the things you get up to, Tsu! Sometimes I think Ivan should just follow you around with a video camera! Have we ever seen you on one of those "Funniest Home Videos" shows?

Not a CHANCE! I don't let any kind of camera anywhere NEAR me! They steal my SPIRIT!

The only picture of me that I allow others to see is the one I posted in the Member Photo thread. (My friends snuck a shot of me while I was waterskiing - I'm the speck at the end of the rope in front of the spray of water. It was my 50th Birthday Party Picture. Wish they'd got a shot of one of my rooster tails! I was shoulder-skimmin' THAT day! WOOHOO! )

 

[Tsu]

More words of wisdom:

DO NOT sit down on top of the jet-boat wake while waterskiing.
(Unless you really WANT a 50-70mph enema - or douche/enema combo if you're a woman! - !)
Not a pretty picture...

 

[Smurf]

One death is a tragedy, one million deaths is a statistic.

Ideas are much more dangerous than guns, we don't let our enemies have guns, why should we let them have Ideas?

You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs.

-Some Wisdom from Josef Stalin.

 

[Chrono]

douche/enema combo if you're a woman! - !

I think it's best that I didn't comment on that.

 

[Tsu]

I think it's best that I didn't comment on that.

Yes. I think you're right.

 

[Chrono]

Yes. I think you're right.

And people always ask why I'm so quiet.

 

[Gokul43201]

A man falls into a hole and can't find a way out.

He sees a doctor passing by and shouts out "doctor, help me please."

The doctor, writes out a prescription, throws it in the hole, and walks away.

Later, he sees a priest passing by, and begs for help.

The priest writes out a prayer, throws it in the hole, and walks away.

Finally, he sees a friend passing by, and asks him for help. The friend immediately jumps into the hole. The man says to his friend : "Why did you do something so stupid ? Now we're both stuck here."

The friend replies : "Yes, I know what it's like to be down here. I've been here before, and I know the way out."


-- Leo McGarry, The West Wing

 

[Tsu]

Some days you're the bug, and some days you're the windshield.

 

[jimmy p]

Somehow, somewhere, a duck is watching you.

 

[tribdog]

More words of wisdom:

DO NOT sit down on top of the jet-boat wake while waterskiing.
(Unless you really WANT a 50-70mph enema - or douche/enema combo if you're a woman! - !)
Not a pretty picture...

Want to hear my jet ski experience? It was the first time I ever tried riding one. Everyone was giving me pointers telling me to sort of lie down behind it and grab the handlebar, give it some gas, then carefully stand up. Sounded easy so I got into position, gave it some gas and the jet of water whipped my shorts down. I reached back with one hand to retrieve my shorts from my ankles and accidently gave it more gas. The jet of water whipped my testicles down around my ankles.

 

[jimmy p]

Want to hear my jet ski experience? It was the first time I ever tried riding one. Everyone was giving me pointers telling me to sort of lie down behind it and grab the handlebar, give it some gas, then carefully stand up. Sounded easy so I got into position, gave it some gas and the jet of water whipped my shorts down. I reached back with one hand to retrieve my shorts from my ankles and accidently gave it more gas. The jet of water whipped my testicles down around my ankles.

More words of wisdom...

Never let dogs ride jet skis.

 

[Hypercase]

A witty saying never proved a thing.-Voltaire.
Klingon saying:-
Act fast and there will be dinner, think too slow and u will be dinner.
Today is a good day to die.

 

[tribdog]

You got that last one wrong. I thought it was: Today is a good day to die.

I can't do it. I was going to attribute that quote to jimmy's cat. but that would have been going over the line.

 

[jimmy p]

Today is a good day to die.

You got that last one wrong. I thought it was: Today is a good day to die.

There is the difference?? where are you from? Mars?

I can't do it. I was going to attribute that quote to jimmy's cat. but that would have been going over the line.

Maybe a little but you always live on the edge. Besides you are a day late.