- #1
causalset
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I guess there is a common theme wihtin the last two relationships I have: I am not happy with the person I am dating mainly because she is too high maitenence and I perceive it as a conflict with my physics career since she would expect me to spend more and more time with her as relationship progresses. That, plus having physics ph.d. I would prefer to date someone on my level. I can't respect myself otherwise. Yet I am getting the girls who don't even have BA. But what happens is that due to Asperger most girls reject me and I can't get the ones that I would truly want. So, out of desperation, I get on with someone I don't like to begin with thinking it is "better than nothing". Then it wears on me after a while. But then I don't know how to dump them. And then I feel "trapped" and not know what to do.
This brings me to the point of this post. Does anyone else have difficulty dumpting people once you lost interest? I guess there are only two possible scenarios: either I dump them or I give them reasons to dump me. The "I dump them" option doesn't work: First of all, I don't have balls to do it; Secondly, I don't want to hurt htem. How would I explain to them why I dragged them through the relationship if I wasn't interested in them to begin wtih? On the other hand, the option of "give them reasons to dump me" doesn't work either. I mean, I might ultimately be offended by their "reasons" of dumping me pride-wise. In this case one of the two thigns will happen. Either I fight to get htem back and successfully GET them back; but then I am right back at square 1, being trapped in this exact situation I was trying to get out. Or the other option is that I DON"T get them back. But then I will obsess for months and months as to why they were so "judgemental" and didn't give me another chance.
Have any of you encountered such dillemas? What do you guys do in these situations?
This brings me to the point of this post. Does anyone else have difficulty dumpting people once you lost interest? I guess there are only two possible scenarios: either I dump them or I give them reasons to dump me. The "I dump them" option doesn't work: First of all, I don't have balls to do it; Secondly, I don't want to hurt htem. How would I explain to them why I dragged them through the relationship if I wasn't interested in them to begin wtih? On the other hand, the option of "give them reasons to dump me" doesn't work either. I mean, I might ultimately be offended by their "reasons" of dumping me pride-wise. In this case one of the two thigns will happen. Either I fight to get htem back and successfully GET them back; but then I am right back at square 1, being trapped in this exact situation I was trying to get out. Or the other option is that I DON"T get them back. But then I will obsess for months and months as to why they were so "judgemental" and didn't give me another chance.
Have any of you encountered such dillemas? What do you guys do in these situations?