Emotional Autopilot + I don't do anything other than share information

[Simfish]

So somehow I don't really find relationships rewarding anymore, yet I still desire them. Nowadays I only find them rewarding if I do weird things and get a reaction out of the other person (for the lulz). I love being a self-parody of myself, and I love degrading myself, because it's so funny. But it gets old to people quick.

I'm loss-averse, so I don't want to lose any friendships/relationships. But I've noticed that I've been valuing my own time more (since I have to study a lot), and every time spent talking to someone is time that I can't spend getting ahead/catching up in physics/math/bio/astro/atms/ee/cs/etc. So I feel like I have a lot less energy and motivation to say anything (I sort of go on emotional autopilot). This has been happening for a year or two now.

I know that sometimes, sufficient excitement can be gained through mutual activities. I guess that means that some time has to be sacrificed for such tasks. But it's kind of sad, since I can only gain excitement through computer games (though I suck at them) or lulz, which aren't the types of things that most other people gain consistent excitement out of.

I know that I can try new things out, but I almost always have to force myself to gain any excitement over them (which usually fails).

==

Like, there's this girl I hang out a lot with. We don't really do anything other than share information and kiss. And then say the same things repeatedly because we're both insecure. And then I try to look for exciting things to make her laugh. But that's pretty much it. The things she likes to do are somewhat boring to me, even though i try to make myself like them.

 

[lisab]

I've been in your state of mind before, especially when I was in school. I didn't have the energy for relationships, all my effort was aimed at school/work. It wasn't a permanent situation.

As far as valuing your time, yes, you have to be almost selfish about your time, if you want to be successful as a student.

Just curious...are you more of an introvert or an extrovert? The reason I ask is introverts tend to feel drained by social interaction. I'm that way. So if I'm stressed by other things in my life, I socialize a lot less.

 

[MotoH]

The biggest thing that will help you out right now, is if you don't say "for the lulz."

Just a suggestion!

 

[rootX]

I don't understand your concerns. But do we do anything other than sharing useless information or make yourself feel good kind of talk etc?

 

[Galteeth]

The biggest thing that will help you out right now, is if you don't say "for the lulz."

Just a suggestion!

On a related note, stay away from 4chan for awhile.

 

[Galteeth]

What is auto pilot mean ?
I translate it in GOolge but I can't find result

"What does auto pilot mean?
I tried to translate the phrase with google but I can't find a useful result"

In this context, it means acting automatically. It is a relating his behavior to the behavior of a plane when the pilot engages the "autopilot" mechanism, thus having the plane "fly itself."

 

[GreatEscapist]

I'm there too. It sucks.
Just focus on your studies. I've been told it goes away after a bit. :) Just look for the silver lining and keep an almost stupidly optimistic look on things, and it will shape up.

Emotions are only readily available when your mind isn't been drained constantly.