Up for Auction PF Member Faux Auction

[edward]

List the item you would most like to get rid of here on the PF faux auction.

1998 Yard Machines lawn tractor. Purchased new at Montgomery Wards. Mower deck is not included. This is the only lawn tractor that I have seen in an online auction that does not have a dead battery. Opening bid $600

 

[edward]

Ok so that opening bid may be a bit high. How about $500 and you also get this space age technology grading machine that is pulled behind the tractor. You can grade your driveway or drag you corral.

 

[lisab]

I have a hen who keeps finding her way out of the chicken enclosure. The enclosure she so hates has a covered, dry area with food (all you can eat!) and water (a heater keeps the water liquid), and inside the coop it's dry and heated (YES HEATED!1!). Wall-to-wall hay and wood chips. There are three nest boxes to lay eggs - since there are only 5 chickens there will almost certainly be no wait for a nest.

The outside area has many species of plants and bugs, and is bigger than most homes. It is completely fenced (no coyotes), and netted (no hawks, owls, or eagles or random raptors).

But does this one dumb hen appreciate any of it? No she does not! She spends all of her time and her limited bandwidth of a "brain" trying to figure a way out of this apparent hell.

So. One hen. She's dumb. She's unappreciative. She's free.

 

[edward]

My neighbor gave me a hen that turned out to be a rooster. But I will take that hen. I will even give you $10 off on the lawn tractor. I will also bring that opening bid down to $400

This tractor has had the oil changed at least twice and that scraper grader thing that goes with it is very versatile. Just pull on the green rope and it flips up on the wheels and locks in place to dump a load of dirt or move it to your next project. Just look at all you get. The rear bumper from a 1972 international Harvester pickum up truck (worth hundreds) , a three foot long grading stake, numerous nuts, bolts, pipes and clamps. This is not junk this was a Lockheed prototype landing gear.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Handmade ceramic flatfish. $125,000

 

[edward]

Handmade ceramic flatfish. $125,000

Wow what is the size of the flatfish? I am tempted to take it size unseen.

 

[Evo]

I'll give you $125 for the fish!

oh geeze edward, the stuff I gave away when i moved, tens of thousands of dollars worth of new stuff
a brand new Kenmore top of the line refrigerator (cost me nearly $3k), beautiful handmade walnut and maple furniture, artisan pieces worth a fortune, no place for them. Kenmore washer and dryer. China, crystal, furs (yeah, I had thousand dollar furs), you name it, I had it. My ex gave me 2 weeks to get everything out after he bought the house from me. I had to leave almost all of it behind. I was moving into a small one bedroom apartment and was having major surgery.

 

[edward]

I'll give you $125 for the fish!

oh geeze edward, the stuff I gave away when i moved, tens of thousands of dollars worth of new stuff
a brand new Kenmore top of the line refrigerator (cost me nearly $3k), beautiful handmade walnut and maple furniture, artisan pieces worth a fortune, no place for them. Kenmoe washer and dryer. China, crystal, you name it.

You gave away all of that! The chances of selling my lawn tractor aren't looking so good.

I need to edit this. I am so sorry that you had to go through that Evo.

 

[Evo]

You gave away all of that! The chances of selling my lawn tractor aren't looking so good.

Gave away the lawn tractor too. Gave away a car to charity.

 

[edward]

Gave away the lawn tractor too. Gave away a car to charity.

The Lawn tractor is really just a joke. The thing is a piece of junk. I wouldn't give someone that grief. I will sell it on a PF FAUX auction however. Edit: I have give several cars to charity.

 

[Evo]

So, can i have the fish?

 

[RonL]

You gave away all of that! The chances of selling my lawn tractor aren't looking so good.

I need to edit this. I am so sorry that you had to go through that Evo.

I feel bad for Evo as well:L

 

[Bandersnatch]

A spare tire. Modestly sized, but still young-ish and full of potential. Already perfectly obscuring all signs of the once-proud Six-Pack underneath. With proper nurture can grow in girth and prominence.
Opening bid: one case of good European lager.

(pick up only; belt and jeans not included; hand optional)

 

[edward]

A spare tire. Modestly sized, but still young-ish and full of potential. Already perfectly obscuring all signs of the once-proud Six-Pack underneath. With proper nurture can grow in girth and prominence.
Opening bid: one case of good European lager.

(pick up only; belt and jeans not included; hand optional)

Hmm I could definitely use a spare hand. The way I see this is that the case of European lager would give you the spare tire back again.

 

[Bandersnatch]

I'd just auction it again! A self-sustaining business model, if I've ever seen one.

 

[Danger]

The rear bumper from a 1972 international Harvester pickum up truck

Damn! You should put a "spoiler alert" notice in front of that. I was kind of looking forward to figuring out what that bumper was from. (In all honesty, though, I probably would have given up before getting around to a cornbinder. I was thinking Pontiac originally.)

The thing is a piece of junk. I wouldn't give someone that grief.

That's exactly the sort of thing that I would always drag home to use for parts in other projects.

A spare tire..
...Already perfectly obscuring all signs of the once-proud Six-Pack underneath

Not as much as you might think, sonny. And thanks to your bid request, we know that it's a lager 6-pack, not a pilsner one.

 

[edward]

Last offer of the evening on the lawn tractor in the OP. $300 and I will include a NASA style super scooper which is also pulled behind the tractor. It was never a wheel barrow it just looks like it might have been.
When You scape up dirt into piles with the scraper you will need a way to move it where you want it. With minimal effort on your part the super scooper can do that.

Note: That lawn tractor couldn't pull diddly squat until I put those knobby ATV tires on the back.

 

[Danger]

I must say, Eddie old bean, that you have some of the cleverest and coolest "accessories" that I've ever seen.
Good job!

 

[edward]

I must say, Eddie old bean, that you have some of the cleverest and coolest "accessories" that I've ever seen.
Good job!

Those were tools of necessity that I had to come up with when I realized that I could no longer do manual pick and shovel and move it with a wheel barrow type of work. I even hitch up an old front tine tiller to the back of that tractor. I tend to collect old stuff too. Most of the equipment, if you can call it that, was made from stuff I had laying around. Part of my motivation was meeting the challenge.

 

[OmCheeto]

I will gladly purchase your tractor thingy on Tuesday, if you will convince your daughter to purchase my $3000 La-Z-Boy recliner in the morning.
She is, as I recall, my next door neighbor.

ps. I was going to come down and visit you, as my friend, acquaintance, ok, I don't really like her, is spending the winter in Needles. My cousin lives in Phoenix, and my sister lives in San Diego, so I thought I'd kill 3 or more birds with one stone.

 

[Danger]

I will gladly purchase your tractor thingy on Tuesday, if you will convince your daughter to purchase my $3000 La-Z-Boy recliner in the morning.

Hey, now, fellas... can't we just eliminate the "middle-man" here? Om, just trade your chair for the tractor, and I'll take the daughter. That way, everyone's happy. (Well, except her, of course, but that's beside the point...)

 

[edward]

I will gladly purchase your tractor thingy on Tuesday, if you will convince your daughter to purchase my $3000 La-Z-Boy recliner in the morning.
She is, as I recall, my next door neighbor.

ps. I was going to come down and visit you, as my friend, acquaintance, ok, I don't really like her, is spending the winter in Needles. My cousin lives in Phoenix, and my sister lives in San Diego, so I thought I'd kill 3 or more birds with one stone.

For $3000 that recliner would have to have be sitting on top of a real tractor with a front loader. Then my daughter would have to ship it to me. I'll have to think about that offer.

Did I mention that the NASA style super scooper is self loading and self dumping. All the operator has to do is place the green rope diagonally over the tire.

The funny thing is that this was just a prototype that worked so well I just kept on using it. Some prototypes are valuable collectors items.

 

[Danger]

Some prototypes are valuable collectors items.

Tell me about it. I have a C-can full of them.

 

[Greg Bernhardt]

I need to sell my Tornado brand Foosball table.

 

[edward]

I need to sell my Tornado brand Foosball table.

Those tables are selling on ebay for $999. Everyone has something. Some of us have more stuff than others. I took an in depth tour of my storage shed today and my father would be proud of me. I still have his tools although he passed away in 1983.

I hope Danger didn't read the name of the table as Toronado.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oldsmobile_Toronado

 

[edward]

Don't miss out on the opportunity to get the tractor, the scraper/grader, and the NASA style super scooper. BUT WAIT ! act now and I will ad this magnificent 1977 Montgomery Wards garden tiller in like new condition. It had a new engine only 15 years ago and it comes complete with a free, and at no cost to you, can of starting fluid because that sucker is really hard to get started. final price just $166.88.

 

[WWGD]

Handmade ceramic flatfish. $125,000

If it sings any Jimmy Buffett song, I'll take it!

 

[Danger]

I need to sell my Tornado brand Foosball table.

hope Danger didn't read the name of the table as Toronado.

I did not. I did however, misread "brand" as "and". I was half-way through responding with a question as to why he had a pet that could blow the balls off of his table when I re-read his post and stopped typing.

it comes complete with a free, and at no cost to you, can of starting fluid because that sucker is really hard to get started

Reminds me of a twit that I went to school with. He had no idea of how ether really works. (This was in southern Ontario, just across the river from Detroit, so it never got cold enough to actually need the stuff.) He had a flat-head Ford V-8 that wouldn't fire up for him one winter, so he removed the spark plugs, sprayed an entire can of Quick Start into each cylinder, replaced the plugs, and turned the key. It blew both heads out through the hood and shattered the block.

 

[edward]

I did not. I did however, misread "brand" as "and". I was half-way through responding with a question as to why he had a pet that could blow the balls off of his table when I re-read his post and stopped typing.
Reminds me of a twit that I went to school with. He had no idea of how ether really works. (This was in southern Ontario, just across the river from Detroit, so it never got cold enough to actually need the stuff.) He had a flat-head Ford V-8 that wouldn't fire up for him one winter, so he removed the spark plugs, sprayed an entire can of Quick Start into each cylinder, replaced the plugs, and turned the key. It blew both heads out through the hood and shattered the block.

Ahh the good old days.

 

[Danger]

Ahh the good old days.

Indeed.
And some wonder why we laugh at people for going batshit crazy if their kid happens to touch a doorknob or sit in the same room with someone who had a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast.

 

[OmCheeto]

I did not. I did however, misread "brand" as "and". I was half-way through responding with a question as to why he had a pet that could blow the balls off of his table when I re-read his post and stopped typing.
Reminds me of a twit that I went to school with. He had no idea of how ether really works. (This was in southern Ontario, just across the river from Detroit, so it never got cold enough to actually need the stuff.) He had a flat-head Ford V-8 that wouldn't fire up for him one winter, so he removed the spark plugs, sprayed an entire can of Quick Start into each cylinder, replaced the plugs, and turned the key. It blew both heads out through the hood and shattered the block.

I think you may have unwittingly solved one of the "Interstellar" problems:

3. They need a Saturn V rocket to escape Earth's gravity. But have no problem leaving in a small shuttle craft from the surface of a planet (on the other side of the wormhole) with 130 percent of Earth's gravity.

Quick Start fluid propulsion!

Wait...

Drats!

At $2.60 per can, and being that there is only one can left in stock, it's obvious why they used a Saturn V, HHO rocket.

 

[edward]

Wow this certainly has become a hard sell, but the tractor needs to go. Here is a special that could only appeal to certain special people. If you are one of those people you can now get; the tractor, the scraper/grader, the NASA style super scooper, the 1977 model garden tiller with a free can of starting fluid and for a limited time only this wonderful brake disc from a 1999 Ford Explorer plus a matching boat anchor. Yes for some special people a boat anchor can match a brake disc.

And the price is still just $166.88

Someone let me know if I am getting too silly with this thread. I am in my second childhood and I can no longer tell when silly is too silly. <(@^@)>

 

[RonL]

Wow this certainly has become a hard sell, but the tractor needs to go. Here is a special that could only appeal to certain special people. If you are one of those people you can now get; the tractor, the scraper/grader, the NASA style super scooper, the 1977 model garden tiller with a free can of starting fluid and for a limited time only this wonderful brake disc from a 1999 Ford Explorer plus a matching boat anchor. Yes for some special people a boat anchor can match a brake disc.

And the price is still just $166.88

Someone let me know if I am getting too silly with this thread. I am in my second childhood and I can no longer tell when silly is too silly. <(@^@)>

Anyone that says that's too silly, just does not have a well rounded and educated life IMHO. ;):D

We are just too many miles apart :(

 

[OmCheeto]

Anyone that says that's too silly, just does not have a well rounded and educated life IMHO. ;):D

We are just too many miles apart :(

Miles away?

pfft!

 

[edward]

Anyone that says that's too silly, just does not have a well rounded and educated life IMHO. ;):D

We are just too many miles apart :(

Well thank you RonL. Those items do come from my most eclectic yard art collection. Now if I could only convince my wife that everything has value to someone somewhere.