What do 'nerdy' guys like in girls?

[Physics-Learner]

is this the progressive girl ? gosh, i don't find her face the least bit attractive.

http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl...a=X&ei=qvopTaiwBML3nAfb8-yCCA&ved=0CDIQ9QEwBg

 

[HeLiXe]

um >_> definitely not the progressive girl...maybe a guy trying to pose as the progressive girl?

 

[Vanadium 50]

The woman in the Progressive commercial is Stephanie Courtney, and you can find pictures, other work, etc. on IMDB.

 

[DanP]

A nerdy woman can also be seen as a trophy girlfriend!

Sure, if she is hot as well. Or to put it realistically, the total package is very important. Looks are many times salient, because humans perceives cues of attraction mainly visually. So yeah, a trophy wife or gf is usually extremely good looking.. This will attract the attention of other men, not really intelligence. Intelligence is hard to see unless you have a direct contact with the person in question, spend a time talking at so on. "Nerdiness" is many time a boring thing when you are socializing.

In spite it was pretty obvious that I was much more intelligent than him, this guy felt embarrassed and asked me not to do such a things because "people could think I was an ignoramus".

Intelligence doesn't always equates the ability to navigate socially like a fish in the water. Yes, ppl can think that you are ignorant and awkward even if you hold a PhD or whatever else. I don't know the situation about you are describing, but try to look at it from different perspectives as well. Maybe he was more socially adept at reading cues from others than you. Or maybe you was right and you was really funny and fit perfectly well and he was complexes. Or maybe he just wasn't looking for a women which can fill the social niche of a group jester. Who knows. Something to think about.

I wonder how many men are not describing what they really enjoy in a woman, but what they think is desirable and will make them look as winners?

Not too many. Believe it or not, not every men is a jerk who only looks at their current SO as a symbol of status. But at the same time, what's hot is hot.

 

[CheshireKat]

I just spent the last 3 hours reading the entire thread... made me register, I kinda felt you've got quite a community going here :)

and since I like the nerdy guys myself, I wanted to thank everyone for their participation.

on a personal and humouresque note:

learning new sutff makes my heart beat faster;
I looooove sarcasm;
I can cook;
I have a pulse

<sarcasm> boobies </sarcasm>

so, just PN me on where you plan on taking me out next friday. just as a fair warning: pick a virtual place, since I live in Europe ;)

 

[sponsoredwalk]

Small world, I live in Europe too Unfortunately, unlike the world, Europe is big

 

[CheshireKat]

yeah, not THAT big though... drove across Europe, drove across Canada. liked Canada better, but it took much longer.

but that's off topic now, isn't it?

 

[sponsoredwalk]

Not at all, Canada is really nerdy

 

[CheshireKat]

Not at all, Canada is really nerdy

:!) then I looooove Canada even more!

 

[Kevin_Axion]

We are very nerdy! Really.

 

[CheshireKat]

true nerd, strong and free, eh?

 

[Kevin_Axion]

Absolutely, eh! I actually never say "eh" it's funny. No one in southern Ontario says "eh" only northern Ontario. But all of what I just said is meaningless because I just said "eh" two times, damn it.

 

[CheshireKat]

and people in northern Alberta say eh, eh.

but if you ask around in the US, they will tell you that eh is a minnesotan thing... so probably everybody blames the north...

that would make a fascinating research "on the use of the particle eh in northern north america"... have to keep it in mind. would you volunteer?

 

[Kevin_Axion]

As a control?

 

[CheshireKat]

haven't figured out the exact design of the study yet...

but as an anthropologist I am more inclined to do some participant observation and case studies... so if you have a few weeks and feel like telling me your whole life in a series of narrative biographical interviews...

 

[sponsoredwalk]

Absolutely, eh! I actually never say "eh" it's funny. No one in southern Ontario says "eh" only northern Ontario. But all of what I just said is meaningless because I just said "eh" two times, damn it.

What do you people say when you're brain is working it's magic then? I thought "eh" was a
universal?

Text Message: "What are you doing tonight?"
_My response: "Eh, I'm.."
I even text "eh"

 

[CheshireKat]

my brother actually has a t-shirt that reads

"why do Canadians say eh? - because it's better than saying huh!"

so, maybe in southern ontario they already use the - ascribed US-american - huh?

 

[Kevin_Axion]

I just stare at the person (into their soul to be specific) while I rub my unshaven face until I think of something intelligent to say.

 

[Synetos]

I myself am seen as a nerdy person and I mostly look for girls who have similar interests and girls with who'm I can talk about science/physics without her walking away xD
A profound love for sci-fi and fantasy would also be nice and well a pretty face if possible :P

 

[CheshireKat]

:!) sci-fi :!)

like that?

 

[mathwonk]

we like really gorgeous, brilliant, good hearted girls with somewhat questionable eyesight.

 

[drizzle]

Questionable eyesight? This is the first time I've ever heard this! We?! And you're speaking behalf of...? Not trying to be rude, but giving the weird input, I just thought... You know... Hehe, forget about it. *shifteyes*

 

[physics girl phd]

we like really gorgeous, brilliant, good hearted girls with somewhat questionable eyesight.

I guess that's why I never gave up my glasses in favor of contacts... Might as well advertise the "questionable eyesight"...

 

[dlgoff]

Has "loving experimentation" been brought up? Not that it matters to me now that I'm old.

 

[MathematicalPhysicist]

Let's turn the tables for a second: what qualities do 'nerdy' boys like in girls?

I love 'nerdy' boys and I'm very lucky that my school is quite science and tech focused. However, a lot of them are incredibly cute and endearing but very shy and give off mixed signals. With other guys, it's fairly straight forward but I know quite a few self-professed 'dorks' that I would go out to dinner with if only they'd ask.

There have been numerous threads on what girls like in guys, but now I'm asking the opposite question; what do smart guys like yourselves like in girls? If possible, I'd be interested in opinions on or from college-aged guys. Thanks!

('Sex' is not an answer. Nice try, PF but I'm looking for more subtle points

Exactly what non-nerdy guys like in girls.

 

[1t_w1ll_bl33d]

i'm a little bit of an older nerd, but what we honestly want:
1. Intelligence (of course, hard to hold a conversation with a flake)
2. Someone who is confident and comfortable with who they are (a woman who needs constant reassurance is very annoying and puts herself on the fast track to a breakup)
3. Someone who can hold a conversation (doesn't necessarily need to be high brow, but a good rhythm to the conversation and if she can point out things we didn't think of without sounding like a know-it-all or condescending, that is hot.)
4. She should have some energy to her (dating someone who's always down or depressed gets old because you feel like you always have to prop her up).
5. She should be excited about some of the things we are too. If your not kind of nerdy too, it will be a struggle and it sucks when you feel like you can't enjoy/share things with your significant other (trust me on this one).
6. A girl who might have to be a bit more aggressive initially. We were kind of shut out before and we don't want to offend, so we tend to be a little tepid. That being said, you shouldn't have to do EVERYTHING. If he can't learn to be a man after you guys are together for a little while, you might be stuck with a boy and that only goes so far.

There are probably others, but I think you get the point.

 

[M-quest]

think intelligence is the most important

 

[EMFsmith]

"If I met a girl that did, chances are that I would marry her".

Slightly off topic here, why do people think marriage secures their relationship?

I've been with my girlfriend for 6 years now and am not remotely bothered with marriage, if we want to go our separate ways that's going to happen with or without that ring isn't it?

 

[DaveC426913]

I've been with my girlfriend for 6 years now and am not remotely bothered with marriage, if we want to go our separate ways that's going to happen with or without that ring isn't it?

No.

A marriage is a promise to spend your life with her.

You have not made a promise to spend your life with her. She is aware of this.


The question to ask yourself is this: if you are able to make a promise in front of all your friends and family to spend your life with her through thick and thin, will you be more or less likely to bolt when things get tough? If you won't make that promise for all the world to see and hear, why not?

 

[EMFsmith]

You can make a promise and intend on spending your life with someone without having to get married is what i mean, you can have the best intentions going into a marriage but ultimately you can't say "Now were married were with each other forever". It just doesn't seem realistic to me.

 

[sponsoredwalk]

You have not made a promise to spend your life with her. She is aware of this.

A piece of paper isn't required to guarantee something like that, in fact I think divorce
rates are a confirmation of this fact. As you yourself freely admit this piece of paper is
required to convince other people of your choice. This indicates to me how much
other people matter in a personal relationship (from the point of view of society). There
is no justifiable reason why this needs to be the case, there is no justifiable reason why
a promise made between two people has to be officially registered in order for it to mean
something. The fact that it does matter gives an indication as to the origins of modern
marriage & it's heavy investment in property. Just like business contracts a marriage
contract ensured transfer of property etc... The modern version of marriage is similar with
some added stuff but again please justify why a piece of paper makes a promise any more
valid if it's about love, trust etc... and not just property related. What other area's of your
emotional life do you record trust & bonds between people on paper so as to give more
credence to the gesture? Hopefully you see my point. People may feel that it is a way to
officially commit but I mean it's completely illogical when you think about it considering
no other area of your emotional life is like that (indicating that property is the reason for
this practice & not love).

So to be clear, people now justify this practice as a way to tell other people of their choice
& to explain it away as some form of gesture (illogical as that may be) but the reality of
the situation is that it arose formally from property considerations (dowry's etc...) & bears
many of the hallmarks of that practice today. People's justifications don't make any sense
to me when viewed this way & I don't see any reason to think this view is wrong & I
certainly don't think viewing unmarried couples as being less committed is justifiable by
any (justifiable) standard whatsoever.

 

[DanP]

No.

A marriage is a promise to spend your life with her.

You have not made a promise to spend your life with her. She is aware of this.The question to ask yourself is this: if you are able to make a promise in front of all your friends and family to spend your life with her through thick and thin, will you be more or less likely to bolt when things get tough? If you won't make that promise for all the world to see and hear, why not?

This is bogus like hell. In many relationships things goes south, and marriage or not, you are better off without the other one. Forget the "promises", nobody should stay in a bad marriage for the sake of some abstract promise. Too many ppl stay in half-assed relationships, for some is fear to break the bonds, for some fear of tomorrow or ending up alone, for some are economical circumstances, but in the end it has just the effect of slowly eating away the happiness of both.

Let both of you be set free, find another mate, feel alive again.Staying in a bad marriage just for the sake of a "promise" is the worst thing you can do to you, and is equally abhorrent and unfair to you and to her as well.

 

[DaveC426913]

This is bogus like hell. In many relationships things goes south, and marriage or not, you are better off without the other one. Forget the "promises", nobody should stay in a bad marriage for the sake of some abstract promise. Too many ppl stay in half-assed relationships, for some is fear to break the bonds, for some fear of tomorrow or ending up alone, for some are economical circumstances, but in the end it has just the effect of slowly eating away the happiness of both.

Let both of you be set free, find another mate, feel alive again.Staying in a bad marriage just for the sake of a "promise" is the worst thing you can do to you, and is equally abhorrent and unfair to you and to her as well.

This is all a red herring. There is no implication anyone should stay in a bad relationship. Moving on.

 

[DaveC426913]

You can make a promise and intend on spending your life with someone without having to get married

And?

Have you?


No, you have not gone to your woman and said "I will commit to staying with you even through the rough times. Heck, I will even provide a token that, whenever one of us doubts our commitment, we can look down at it and remember that this tough time will pass - that it's a drop in the bucket. So that you know - because I've told you - I will not jump ship next time I can't watch my Sunday sports."

You have not done it in front of all your friends and family who, when things get tough (and they will), will step forward to support you, and remind you why you wanted this, and remind you that you wanted to be in it for the long haul, not jumping ship the next time the credit cards max out.

A marriage says, explicitly and publicly, "I want you to know that I want to make a life with you."

That's what a marriage is.

 

[DaveC426913]

Furthermore, since you don't want to make that promise, it's good that you don't (no one should be trapped in a life commitment they don't want to be in).

This sends a message to your grilfriend. Your take on this long-term relationship with her is... what was it? Ah...

...if we want to go our separate ways that's going to happen...

This is good for her to know. She can plan her life appropriately, without depending on you.