Collection of Lame Jokes

[DennisN]

That fits with what I had figured, since Swedish 'fart' is obviously cognate to the German noun 'Fahrt', from the verb 'fahren' "to go (by vehicle)".

But the cross-language pun with the English 'fart' was too tempting to pass up.

I believe Swedes often are aware of the existence of the cross-language pun.

There is a funny saying I've heard sometimes, which also is based on the pun. It's a rewrite of another saying, and the original saying goes something like this:

"It's not the car that kills, it's the speed." (or something like that)

And the rewritten one goes like this:

"It's not the fart that kills, it's the smell."

 

[jtbell]

Charlie Brown finally does it!
(with a bit of help from a friend)

 

[DaveC426913]

I believe Swedes often are aware of the existence of the cross-language pun.

There is a funny saying I've heard sometimes, which also is based on the pun. It's a rewrite of another saying, and the original saying goes something like this:

"It's not the car that kills, it's the speed." (or something like that)

And the rewritten one goes like this:

"It's not the fart that kills, it's the smell."

It's not the fall that kills; it's the sudden stop at the end.

 

[Ibix]

Pablo Picasso was robbed. Based on his description of the suspect, police have brought in three one-eyed women and a sewing machine for questioning.

 

[jtbell]

 

[berkeman]

 

[BillTre]

 

[jtbell]

Is the next pandemic emerging from Wisconsin?

 

[Bandersnatch]

I too hate the cheese disease.

 

[symbolipoint]

I do not know if this belongs in Lame Jokes or the fun Pictures. I did try to post in the now CLOSED topic asking for the diff. between Math and Class. Mech. I saw no sign it was closed until I tried to post. So here is my description.

****
How this topic would need to go on for some 50 posts, so many not or should not be needed. We could use a humor picture, no way know where to find or create the sources, but the answer to this topic question is already too obvious if one thinks about it for about fifteen seconds.

Here imagine two pictures:

• Claus the horse has a handler human who asks Claus to count the number 8; and Claus taps 8 times with his foot.
• A cat on a table looks at a vessel of drinking water and pulls this vessel with a front paw until the vessel falls over the edge onto the floor.

Those are in their sequence listed, representations of Mathematics, and of Classical Mechanics.
****

I have no pictures to share. I just remember the ideas and describe them, a bit like a joke.

edit: Maybe I mistook the name of the horse and his name was Hans. Don't know unless I try a search or something.

 

[Swamp Thing]

The second picture could be a bronc in a rodeo launching the rider into a parabola.

 

[Swamp Thing]

First attempt using Gemini --- there are tweaks that could be made but...

 

[symbolipoint]

@Swamp Thing , you are definitely clever at finding things and resourceful about using new tools.

 

[Swamp Thing]

Thank you!

 

[jtbell]

Henny Youngman's dog also did standup comedy!

 

[jtbell]

"A doctor gave his patient six months to live... but he couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months."

-- Henny Youngman

 

[davenn]

 

[DaveC426913]

Best boat name ever.

 

[berkeman]

 

[davenn]

Star Trek Cross-over

It's 45 lightyears to Chicago, it's dark and we are wearing sunglasses

 

[Ibix]

Star Trek Cross-over

It's 45 lightyears to Chicago, it's dark and we are wearing sunglasses

View attachment 374578

On a five year mission from God.

 

[jtbell]

 

[berkeman]

 

[DennisN]

 

[jtbell]

Seen at the local "old folks' home" today:

 

[jtbell]

A Finnish-American Yooper joke:

Eino sees Toivo across the river.
Eino: "Eh, Toivo, whaddya doin over dere?"
Toivo: "I'm tryna get to da udder side."
Eino: "But yer already on da udder side!"

 

[WWGD]

Billy Joel to promote the latest "Akka" model from Cadillac, a trade in for his Chevy.

 

[jtbell]

... and it will scream!

 

[BillTre]

 

[jtbell]