Why would a girl ignore your calls?

[DanP]

Join the dark side.

The very essence of this thread :P

 

[jackmell]

This meaning, I try to minimize any behavior , which , although normal, may be perceived as infidelity or threatening to the women in question.

That won't always work. I had one and I'm not gettin' into the details. But Jack, that ain't no fun. Go ahead, exactly what details you ain't givin'?. But she didn't trust me no matter what I did. She had a past. That's the problem. Lots of women, most women, have that past baggage you got to deal with. Jesus, like I didn't agree to all that stuff when I hooked-up with you!

 

[DanP]

Lots of women, most women, have that past baggage you got to deal with. Jesus, like I didn't agree to all that stuff when I hooked-up with you!

Generally, anyone with baggage is bad news, they seldom worth the effort. Anyway, some trust issues I don't call serious baggage. Children, obligations to ex-spouses, drama ... that's where you start touching on real weight, IMO.

 

[jackmell]

Dude, they all have baggage. Guess she's get on me for saying that too. And what if she's really pretty and sexy? That stuff gets in the way of good thinking you know. I mean most men would say, "baggage? . . . ugh . . . but can I keep her a few weeks?" yeah, right. But after that, and somethin'-somethin' all during that time, well, now you owe her and just can't leave. Not easily anyway. They can get really nasty.

"girl you dangerous
you the kinda' girl I'd be stupid to trust
but just one night couldn't be so bad
you make we wanna' loose control"

(Good Girls Go Bad)

 

[cronxeh]

Well some of us don't mind the baggage, willing to take her as she is, completely. Its just the funny thing is, she doesn't want someone like that

 

[DanP]

Dude, they all have baggage. Guess she's get on me for saying that too. And what if she's really pretty and sexy? That stuff gets in the way of good thinking you know. I mean most men would say, "baggage? . . . ugh . . . but can I keep her a few weeks?" yeah, right. But after that, and somethin'-somethin' all during that time, well, now you owe her and just can't leave. Not easily anyway. They can get really nasty.

Are you kidding me ?

 

[cronxeh]

Never bring a Dan to a Jack fight

 

[DaveC426913]

Never bring a Dan to a Jack fight

 

[jackmell]

Are you kidding me ?

No. But I do know one thing I'm not doing, and that's talk about my relationship problems. I deal with them quite nicely these days by the method of, "I DON'T DATE" unless she first fill-out a twenty-five page affadavit describing all her issues, hangups, baggage, or other general-purpose psycho bit_h behaviors.

But oh, you guys think I'm funnin' or playing. "Really Jack, such "supposed" psycho-bit_hes are only myth right," you may ask? Well I am alive to tell you "no-contrair mon Piere vous psycho bit_hes" because I dated one. But what did you do Jack? Well . . . the sex was good and all (we're not teenagers so ok), and well other than that, all I wanna' say is it was frickin' hell.

 

[DaveC426913]

No. But I do know one thing I'm not doing, and that's talk about my relationship problems.

Really? Cuz you could kinda fool me...

I deal with them quite nicely these days by the method of, "I DON'T DATE" unless she first fill-out a twenty-five page affadavit describing all her issues, hangups, baggage, or other general-purpose psycho bit_h behaviors.

But oh, you guys think I'm funnin' or playing. "Really Jack, such "supposed" psycho-bit_hes are only myth right," you may ask? Well I am alive to tell you "no-contrair mon Piere vous psycho bit_hes" because I dated one. But what did you do Jack? Well . . . the sex was good and all (we're not teenagers so ok), and well other than that, all I wanna' say is it was frickin' hell.

Well, if my wisdom teaches me anything, it's that relationships are a two-way street.

My wife's ex probably thought she was psycho too. Turns out they were just incompatible.

 

[GeorginaS]

Generally, anyone with baggage is bad news, they seldom worth the effort.

If you've been alive for more than two years, you have baggage of some description or other. That's just life.

No. But I do know one thing I'm not doing, and that's talk about my relationship problems. I deal with them quite nicely these days by the method of, "I DON'T DATE" unless she first fill-out a twenty-five page affadavit describing all her issues, hangups, baggage, or other general-purpose psycho bit_h behaviors.

But oh, you guys think I'm funnin' or playing. "Really Jack, such "supposed" psycho-bit_hes are only myth right," you may ask? Well I am alive to tell you "no-contrair mon Piere vous psycho bit_hes" because I dated one. But what did you do Jack? Well . . . the sex was good and all (we're not teenagers so ok), and well other than that, all I wanna' say is it was frickin' hell.

Um, okay, did you read what you just wrote? For real? Re: your issues about people with emotional baggage. Irony, yes? I mean, for you to bi**h about women's emotional baggage? You noted the steamer trunk you just unpacked, right?

 

[Antiphon]

Ephedyn: if you're not emulating James Bond, you need to start. That's what women like- a man in charge but civilized and in complete control. Give up the emo routine even if it's natural. I'm the long run it will loose you a lot of prime chicks.

 

[GeorginaS]

Ephedyn: if you're not emulating James Bond, you need to start. That's what women like- a man in charge but civilized and in complete control. Give up the emo routine even if it's natural. I'm the long run it will loose you a lot of prime chicks.

And, and, and, be sure to call them all "prime chicks". Broads are really into that too.

 

[DanP]

If you've been alive for more than two years, you have baggage of some description or other. That's just life.

Pretty much false. I won't enter any debate on this theme, but if you feel you have it, learn to let it go.

 

[DaveC426913]

I won't enter any debate on this theme...

Feel free to. You'll just have to keep a civil tongue.

Pretty much false.

It is not false. Your experience may differ, however. You are either very lucky, or very young.

 

[GeorginaS]

Pretty much false. I won't enter any debate on this theme, but if you feel you have it, learn to let it go.

You won’t debate it nor support your position, evidently, DanP. I'm not sure why not. Your choice.

Okay then; here’s mine.

There’s nothing for me to let go of. I am who I am. From the moment I drew my first breath people and my environment have been having an impact on me. I’m the sum of my genetic predisposition and how my experiences have interacted with that. I have foibles and faults and strengths and humour. I have the ability to deal with huge emotional stresses and the ability to crumble under someone’s harsh words. I can love until my heart’s set to explode, and I can feel shaky when that love feels exposed or vulnerable. I can also withdraw and be cold to protect myself. I can be kind and generous and warm. I get angry when pushed or when I witness cruelty.

And to what degree I do all or any of those things depends upon my previous experiences and lessons learned and how my given psyche deals with all of that.

That’s what I mean when I say that anyone who’s been alive for more than two years has “emotional baggage”. You begin learning responses to stimuli dumped on you by other people really, really early in life. Therefore everyone develops trigger mechanisms and responses to the people around them. Therefore you are not going to meet anyone who is “free of emotional baggage”. We’ve all had other people have an impact on us in one way or another. We all react and respond – we all come with programming. No one is “free” of it because we’re all human.

 

[DaveC426913]

... we all come with programming.

And we continue to write our programming as we go through life.

 

[DaveC426913]

You won’t debate it nor support your position, evidently, DanP. I'm not sure why not.

Because he was unwilling or unable to do so without swearing and denigrating, causing his entire post to be deleted. So now he's self-muzzling.

 

[GeorginaS]

And we continue to write our programming as we go through life.

Absolutely.

 

[GeorginaS]

Because he was unwilling or unable to do so without swearing and denigrating, causing his entire post to be deleted. So now he's self-muzzling.

And that is really and truly unfortunate. There's a whole bunch of valuable experience we have an opportunity to share with each other, here. A couple of people seem to feel this is a combative conversation zone, and I don't understand why.

 

[ephedyn]

OK an update... before this thread gets out of topic.

What do you do if she starts to send you some messages again, before the 1 week has even elapsed?

Edit: Oh yeah, and I haven't replied the messages at all because she wasn't asking any questions anyway, so I take it that she wasn't interested in a conversation.

Quite frankly I've been feeling such an inner peace after starting to cast her problem aside that I can go on ignoring her altogether for good and go about finding someone who could be a better friend or more. @_@;

 

[GeorginaS]

Quite frankly I've been feeling such an inner peace after starting to cast her problem aside that I can go on ignoring her altogether for good and go about finding someone who could be a better friend or more. @_@;

If this is a genuine, for-real feeling and everything, it's a really good one to go with.

 

[DanP]

Feel free to. You'll just have to keep a civil tongue.

Whatever.

 

[DanP]

You won’t debate it nor support your position, evidently, DanP. I'm not sure why not. Your choice.

Okay then; here’s mine.

There’s nothing for me to let go of. I am who I am. From the moment I drew my first breath people and my environment have been having an impact on me. I’m the sum of my genetic predisposition and how my experiences have interacted with that. I have foibles and faults and strengths and humour. I have the ability to deal with huge emotional stresses and the ability to crumble under someone’s harsh words. I can love until my heart’s set to explode, and I can feel shaky when that love feels exposed or vulnerable. I can also withdraw and be cold to protect myself. I can be kind and generous and warm. I get angry when pushed or when I witness cruelty.

And to what degree I do all or any of those things depends upon my previous experiences and lessons learned and how my given psyche deals with all of that.

That’s what I mean when I say that anyone who’s been alive for more than two years has “emotional baggage”. You begin learning responses to stimuli dumped on you by other people really, really early in life. Therefore everyone develops trigger mechanisms and responses to the people around them. Therefore you are not going to meet anyone who is “free of emotional baggage”. We’ve all had other people have an impact on us in one way or another. We all react and respond – we all come with programming. No one is “free” of it because we’re all human.

This is simple not "baggage". This is your "self" as shaped by genetic and social interactions. I think some ppl around here make a confusion between baggage and , for better or worse, being yourself.

Most of the persons I know are normal. I am simply amazed when ppl start to tell me how many ppl with baggage they meet.

 

[Astronuc]

And we continue to write our programming as we go through life.

and rewrite, update, revise, . . . .

 

[nucleargirl]

OK an update... before this thread gets out of topic.

What do you do if she starts to send you some messages again, before the 1 week has even elapsed?

Edit: Oh yeah, and I haven't replied the messages at all because she wasn't asking any questions anyway, so I take it that she wasn't interested in a conversation.

;

Depends on what she said in the messages - what was her tone? like want to be friends again? or just being polite? or anything else? In her mind there isn't a one week time limit lol... so its quite normal for her to contact you, knowing you were good friends.

 

[cronxeh]

wanna be friends again?

Oh hells no! I would slam the phone so superhard it would turn rotary!

 

[lisab]

If this is a genuine, for-real feeling and everything, it's a really good one to go with.

Excellent advice

 

[ephedyn]

lisab/GeorginaS: *shrugs* Yeah I had enough. If someone asks me now what I look for in a person, scrap that personality, appearance, humor, confidence, generosity, kindness stuff. I'm looking for someone who's uniform, consistent, and logical. Like physics.

Depends on what she said in the messages - what was her tone? like want to be friends again? or just being polite? or anything else? In her mind there isn't a one week time limit lol... so its quite normal for her to contact you, knowing you were good friends.

I'll think "just being polite" fits best. I don't know why she's saying sorry quite a number of times ("Sorry I was busy", "Sorry I was being...").

croxneh: Lol, slam the phone and "it will turn rotary". That's the first time I've heard that expression.

 

[nucleargirl]

I'll think "just being polite" fits best. I don't know why she's saying sorry quite a number of times ("Sorry I was busy", "Sorry I was being...").

hm... maybe she's feeling guilty for not being there for you when you needed her... and maybe she genuinely WAS busy! and your mutual friend just caught her at a good time. You know, its not good to write off all females just cos of one incident with one person. And this is all speculation, we don't know what's really going on - you should talk to her properly about it before making your judgements.