Eimacman, I thought I had responded to your latest post before, but apparently it didn't get posted somehow.
Eimacman said:
I meant that gravity is not effected by its self, gravitons are another matter.
Depending on how you interpret "gravity affecting itself", independently of gravitational waves carrying energy, gravity may or may not affect itself. It is true that the "source" of gravity in the Einstein Field Equation, the stress-energy tensor, does not include any stress-energy due to "gravity itself". However, it is also true that the EFE is nonlinear, which shows up in a number of ways that many people interpret as "gravity affecting itself" or "gravity gravitating". One way is that in many situations of interest, the nonlinearity of the EFE can be expressed as energy being stored in the "gravitational field", and you can define a conserved energy for the spacetime that includes the energy stored in the gravitational field. Since "energy" is the "source" of gravity, this can be interpreted as gravity causing more gravity. Another way is that the nonlinearity of the EFE sets limits on what static configurations of matter, such as planets, stars, white dwarfs, and neutron stars, can be stable, limits which are not there in Newtonian gravity, which is linear. This can also be interpreted as gravity causing more gravity.
Eimacman said:
You make an interesting point about the gravitational effects of a black hole being felt before a mass falls into the event horizon, that would allow the the speed of electromagnetic waves and gravitational waves to be the same. Could you cite me a reference to this effect I would like to study this further.
Try this page on the Usenet Physics FAQ for a start:
http://math.ucr.edu/home/baez/physics/Relativity/BlackHoles/black_gravity.html
It actually addresses something you say further down in your post:
Eimacman said:
Also there must be some kind 'gravitational communication' between the horizon and the singularity where the gravitational field density →∞.
But the answer to this sets the framework for what I said about when the gravitational effects of an object falling into the hole are felt.
First, about the "gravitational communication" in general: as the FAQ entry says, the observed "field", meaning the effects of gravity, at any event (a point in space at a given instant of time) are entirely due to the presence of "sources" at other events that can communicate with that event at speeds less than or equal to c. The brief way of saying this is that what happens at a given event is determined entirely by what happens within the "past light cone" of that event. So the "gravity" you feel when you are outside the black hole isn't coming from inside the hole: it's coming from the past, from the object that originally collapsed to form the hole.
This is actually true, btw, for *all* gravitating bodies, not just black holes. For example, the "gravity" that the Earth feels from the Sun at this instant is not determined by the Sun "right now"; it's determined by the Sun 500 seconds ago, the time it takes for light to travel from the Sun to the Earth. A good reference for how this works is this paper by Steve Carlip:
http://arxiv.org/abs/gr-qc/9909087
Carlip explains how the interaction between objects like the Sun and the Earth can look like an instantaneous "Newtonian" force even though it's actually time-delayed because of the finite speed of light.
The difference between the Sun and the black hole is that it only takes eight minutes for gravity to get from the Sun to the Earth, so to speak--or, looking at it from our point of view on Earth, we only have to go eight minutes into the Earth's past light cone to find the "source" of the gravity the Earth feels from the Sun at this instant. But if the Sun were a black hole, it might have collapsed a billion years ago, so we would have to go a billion years into the Earth's past light cone to find the "source" of the gravity the Earth feels at this instant--but the gravity itself, the effect, would be the same if the Sun's mass were the same, because the way the field from the collapsing object "propagates" through the empty vacuum region outside it is static--it stays the same for all time (again, this is in the idealized spherically symmetric case), so it doesn't matter how long ago the object collapsed to form the hole.
Now, in the light of the above, consider the case of an object with significant mass of its own falling into the black hole. You are orbiting the hole at some distance and the object falls into the hole some distance away from you (this is so what you see isn't distorted by the object's own gravity--we want to see only the effect of the object+hole combining). As soon as the object is closer to the hole than you are, you will start feeling the gravity in your vicinity change. Put another way, as soon as the object is in your past light cone, as well as the hole, the object's gravity will start adding to the hole's gravity. In an idealized case, where the effects are spherically symmetric, you will see *all* the effect as soon as the object is closer to the hole than you are; in a real case, you will see a more gradual change, but by the time the object is inside the hole's horizon, all the change will have occurred--because once the object is below the horizon, it has left all the "imprint" in your past light cone that it's ever going to leave (since the horizon and everything inside it can never be inside your past light cone if you are outside).
Eimacman said:
I have a problem with this point in that it implies that a black hole's gravitational field to be asymmetrical, at least slightly.
If you mean by this that a spacetime in which a massive object collapses to a black hole is asymmetric in time, you are correct: the collapse being "before" the black hole defines a direction of time. However, this does not make the field "asymmetrical"; once the object collapses, the gravitational field is stationary and spherically symmetric (at least in the idealized case we're considering).
Eimacman said:
An asymmetrical gravitational field would make a black hole with in falling matter 'noisy' gravitationally.
Not sure what you mean by this.