News Horror Story: Trip to the Dentist

[Evo]

I went to the dentist yesterday. He had a new assistant - apparently HELL has a school for dental assistants now.

This minion of the devil, cleverly disguised in a blue lab coat and vinyl gloves appeared normal at first...then she started "assisting" my dentist.

It was unbelievable, she kept ramming the suction wand into various parts of my mouth, I actually let out a scream at one point, so she stopped and asked "oh, is that tooth sensitive", I said "no, you just rammed that thing into my jaw again".

She would get distracted and forget to suction and I would be drowning, then she'd start spraying water all over my face.

I had a "a natural enamel" build up to fix a chipped tooth, and they have this neat little wand that emits a blue light and it hardens the enamel instantly. Well, she did something wrong and when she went to pull the wand out of my mouth, it was stuck to my tooth. She kept yanking and going "oh my, that's not supposed to happen". I was thinking "oh dear lord, I have a dental machine glued to my mouth". Finally after a number of twists and pulls she got it loose.

A few hours after I got home last night, I chipped the new enamel.

I'm afraid to go back.

 

[Danger]

A few hours after I got home last night, I chipped the new enamel.

I'm afraid to go back.

First, she probably weakened or broke it pulling the UV emitter free. Secondly, don't you have the standard 200,000-bite warrantee?

 

[zoobyshoe]

I don't know it it's worse to be tortured by intentionally sadistic dentists ("Is it safe?"), or by the scatterbrained, incompetent ones ("Oh! That wasn't supposed to happen!").

 

[Echo 6 Sierra]

Poor Evo. (pats her hand and shows pouty lips) I had two wisdom teeth taken out in bootcamp. Ahhhhh...I can still feel the mallet-blows that cracked my tooth so it could be removed...and the rasp used to grind down my jaw(gum?)bone...and the MOTRIN! for pain medication! I guess that was my first military lesson on dealing with pain. Makes my teeth sharp just thinking about the rasp.

 

[Evo]

I had two wisdom teeth taken out in bootcamp. Ahhhhh...I can still feel the mallet-blows that cracked my tooth so it could be removed...and the rasp used to grind down my jaw(gum?)bone...and the MOTRIN! for pain medication! I guess that was my first military lesson on dealing with pain. Makes my teeth sharp just thinking about the rasp.

Aaaggh! No wonder so many people died of abscessed teeth in the old days.

 

[Huckleberry]

I had a tooth that the dentist didn't want to fill last month. He used that enamel stuff. Isn't that stuff awesome? He was explaining how the blue light cured the enamel. I think I distracted him too much because he told me to rinse and I still had a mouthful of gauze. He was so embarrassed you'd have thought he left some forceps in my intestines or something.

 

[Tsu]

Jeepers, Sis! You just NEVER cease to amaze me! How do you manage to find these people? ...'Course you always HAVE been sort of a weirdo magnet... Mom and I would just shake our heads and laugh... And honest to God, your description was...PERFECT! I was picturing the WHOLE THING! Ahhhh...{wipes tears from eyes} ...thanks for the laugh, Sis. I needed that...

So, how's the tooth? Here. Have a green apple martini {pours a double into Evo's computer - hey! maybe the alcohol will help to evaporate all the rest of the liquids you've been spewing into it lately! }.

 

[Huckleberry]

Poor Evo. (pats her hand and shows pouty lips) I had two wisdom teeth taken out in bootcamp. Ahhhhh...I can still feel the mallet-blows that cracked my tooth so it could be removed...and the rasp used to grind down my jaw(gum?)bone...and the MOTRIN! for pain medication! I guess that was my first military lesson on dealing with pain. Makes my teeth sharp just thinking about the rasp.

I had almost this same experience. I guess military dentists don't like to put people under. I only had some novacaine for pain killer. He put a ball in my mouth and cut open the gums and cracked the teeth and wrenched them out. My mouth was killing me. I thought he broke my jaw. I didn't have that rasp thing though, thank God. I don't even want to know what that is like.

 

[Evo]

I think I distracted him too much because he told me to rinse and I still had a mouthful of gauze. He was so embarrassed you'd have thought he left some forceps in my intestines or something.

With all the modern technology, why is it they haven't found a way to muffle that high pitched whine of the drill? It's like someone dragging their fingernails on a chalk board.

 

[enigma]

apparently HELL has a school for dental assistants now.

Now?

Since the renaissance, he's been having problems finding people to believe in him. Dental School is one of the few places he can still train his minions without being immediately picketed by the religious right...

 

[Danger]

Dental School is one of the few places he can still train his minions without being immediately picketed by the religious right...

My dental hygienist is a very attractive young lady, who is unfortunately my dentist's daughter. Even more disappointing, they're both very religious. What a revoltin' situation.

 

[Evo]

I'm a freak magnet.

So, how's the tooth?

It's chipped.

Here. Have a green apple martini {pours a double into Evo's computer - hey! maybe the alcohol will help to evaporate all the rest of the liquids you've been spewing into it lately! }.

Mmmmm, I needed that! It's hard not to spew when you read posts from Danger, Huck, Artman, zobie (as Ivan called him once) moonbear, brewnog, MIH, etc...

I remember when I first joined and you had me spewing and spitting all over the place!

 

[Moonbear]

Now?

Since the renaissance, he's been having problems finding people to believe in him. Dental School is one of the few places he can still train his minions without being immediately picketed by the religious right...

I think they all trained at the UofM school of Dentistry. I honestly ask dentists now where they went to school, and if they tell me UofM, I'm finding another one. I never was afraid of dentists and never ran into a bad one until I moved to MI, and suddenly, they were ALL bad.

I needed my wisdom teeth out when I was living there, and had already had enough bad experiences, I honestly got a referral from a friend for an oral surgeon in NJ and paid through the nose (insurance didn't cover anything to go to him) just to be sure I wasn't having the wisdom teeth removed by anyone in MI. I got all 4 done at once, and other than my jaw muscles being a bit sore from having my mouth stretched open, it really didn't hurt much at all (yeah, I did have a "twilight" anesthetic during the tooth removal because two were still under the gums and I knew they'd have to cut the gum to get at them and opted for a bit more than just novocaine).

Evo, if I were you, I would tell the dentist about the assistant having the light wand stuck to your tooth and then explain that your tooth chipped again the same night (whether it was her fault or not, blame it on her so they fix it for you free...it's the least they owe you after her torture)...and yeah, tell him/her you want your appointment for the day that assistant is off!

 

[Danger]

I'm a freak magnet.

You called...?

It's hard not to spew when you read posts from Danger, Huck, Artman, zobie (as Ivan called him once) moonbear, brewnog, MIH, etc...

It's nice to know that the effort hasn't been wasted.

PS: to Tsu; love the new avatar. It shows off your colouration so much better than the old one.

 

[Evo]

Evo, if I were you, I would tell the dentist about the assistant having the light wand stuck to your tooth and then explain that your tooth chipped again the same night (whether it was her fault or not, blame it on her so they fix it for you free...it's the least they owe you after her torture)...and yeah, tell him/her you want your appointment for the day that assistant is off!

I think her days are numbered. He's a very patient guy but the entire time he was saying, "no, not that, the other one", no, I need "xxx", that's an "eee". I don't think she did one thing correct. He wasn't in the room when she glued the wand to my tooth, I do need to bring that up.

 

[Huckleberry]

At my appointment the dentist himself applied the enamel and cured it with the light. The stuff is like concrete. Once it is cured to change the shape the dentist has to use the drill. I don't want an assistant to do that unassisted.

 

[Danger]

I don't want an assistant to do that unassisted.

Well of course not. An unassisted assistant is unheard of. She would need at least one assistant assistant.

 

[Moonbear]

At my appointment the dentist himself applied the enamel and cured it with the light. The stuff is like concrete. Once it is cured to change the shape the dentist has to use the drill. I don't want an assistant to do that unassisted.

Yeah, I have that stuff on one of my front teeth from when I broke my tooth as a kid. I have to get it redone, because it's be so long it's worn off at the top (either that or my teeth keep growing like a rodent's teeth) and discolored, but it's really hard to chip. I only chipped it once (the first time I had it done) when I was chomping down on a candy cane with my front teeth (apparently you're suppsed to chomp candy canes with your molars, not incisors though the dentist was quite insistent there was no good way to chomp candy canes, and they were simply better left uneaten, but what do dentists know?). Yeah, when I had that done, the dentist was the one who took care of curing the enamel too, though that was a long time ago (I think the first time I had it done, it was a pretty new method for repairing teeth).

 

[Evo]

At my appointment the dentist himself applied the enamel and cured it with the light. The stuff is like concrete. Once it is cured to change the shape the dentist has to use the drill. I don't want an assistant to do that unassisted.

Well, holding the light isn't rocket science, you press a button and the light comes on, times itself, then shuts off. This girl was a complete klutz. She almost knocked herself out by swinging the overhead light into her forehead. I was thinking "this would be me if I was a dental assistant".

The dentist is excellent. You have to wait 6-8 weeks to see him. I will never leave him because of what he did for the child of Evo. We had just moved here and the day care called me to tell me that a stupid little boy was fooling around on the slide and accidently kicked her in the mouth, knocking her front teeth backwards into the roof of her mouth. I called a dozen dentists and was told each time that they were attending a dental conference in town and the office was closed. When I called this office, the receptionist immediately paged the dentist at the conference while I held and told me to drive right over, he'd meet me. He put her teeth back in place and put a temporary brace on them and explained that they'd heal just fine, and they did. We've been going to him ever since.

 

[Huckleberry]

Yeah, he sounds like a keeper. Cares enough to make the time to help a person in an emergency. Considerate of the pain of others. He did good work. Sounds like someone I would want to return to. No wonder his waiting list is so long.

Why did that kid kick your daughter in the mouth? What's that all about?

 

[Evo]

Why did that kid kick your daughter in the mouth? What's that all about?

She was getting onto the slide and there was a metal bar across the top and the stupid kid in front of her decides he's going to grab onto the bar and do some tarzan swings.

 

[BicycleTree]

All dentists are immoral. All cockroaches are dentists. Therefore, all cockroaches are immoral.

 

[Francis M]

With all the modern technology, why is it they haven't found a way to muffle that high pitched whine of the drill? It's like someone dragging their fingernails on a chalk board.

Usually that doesn't bother me, I'm like this at the dentists :zzz: (which works out great because my mouth stays open ). Unfortunatly two weeks ago I had to have 3 cavities filled on my back molars, just in front of my wisdom teeth (yes I have wisdom teeth still, they came in fine, no problems yet, please don't hate me). I say unfortunatly because this time the "sound" of the high speed drill conducted through one of those three teeth and my jaw bone and caused this unbearable high pitched ringing inside my head that brought tears to my eyes (my skull felt like a huge resonating cavity)
The poor dentist thought it was him until I explained what was going on. He couldn't do anything about it except try and finish the drilling as quickly as possible. Good guy though, great chair side manner, I'll go back to him again.

 

[hypatia]

OMG Moonbear is sooooo right about MI dentists!

 

[JamesU]

Dentists never bother me I hated though when I had to get a crown pulled. : He asked me if I wanted to keep my teeth He also asked me if I wanted a sticker. I WAS 12 YEARS OLD!


Instead of the sticker, I chose a wowwipop

 

[Danger]

Instead of the sticker, I chose a wowwipop

I always thought that was pretty sneaky of dentists to offer lollipops on the way out. It's sort of like a tire shop leaving nails on their driveway.

 

[JamesU]

Well they do, but in the direction so you can exit, not enter

 

[Moonbear]

I always thought that was pretty sneaky of dentists to offer lollipops on the way out. It's sort of like a tire shop leaving nails on their driveway.

So true!

 

[JamesU]

I just got 2 fillings and my lip feels as fat as rosie o'donnel. '

The assistant insisted that I listen to some music and got out a cd player

Then, when it was over, the doctor thought it was a good idea to knock the earphones off of my head by slapping them just so I could hear them Then he told me that talking to me is like talking to a 90 year old man.

 

[Evo]

I just got 2 fillings and my lip feels as fat as rosie o'donnel. '

The assistant insisted that I listen to some music and got out a cd player

Then, when it was over, the doctor thought it was a good idea to knock the earphones off of my head by slapping them just so I could hear them Then he told me that talking to me is like talking to a 90 year old man.

Nice Dentist.

 

[JamesU]

That's why this thread was started, right?