Inventive Genius: Ted M. Moss' Patented Mouse Trap

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Discussion Overview

The discussion revolves around the inventive concepts and patents related to a mouse trap designed by Ted M. Moss, which includes various features such as killing, crushing, and incinerating mice. The conversation also touches on humorous and satirical aspects of mouse-related products and societal reactions to the idea of consuming mice.

Discussion Character

  • Exploratory
  • Debate/contested
  • Humorous

Main Points Raised

  • Some participants describe the mouse trap as a high-tech device that kills and incinerates mice, detailing its mechanism involving a harpoon and an electric eye.
  • Several patents related to the mouse trap are mentioned, including a finger guard, a mouse ash scraper, and a mouse harpoon sharpener.
  • Humorous suggestions for mouse-based food items, such as the "McMousetrap mousewrap" and a low-carb version, are proposed, with some participants joking about the health benefits of consuming mice.
  • A satirical news piece discusses protests by mice and PETA against the view of mice as a food source, highlighting societal reactions to the mouse trap and its implications.
  • Participants humorously suggest various mouse-themed food products and puns, including "mincemouse pie" and "Chocolate Mouse."
  • There is mention of a denied patent for a product made from mouse carcasses, with a note on the impossibility of patenting perpetual motion devices.
  • Inventor Ted M. Moss expresses frustration over the denial of his patent and the backlash from animal rights activists, claiming he does not seek perpetual motion but a self-sustaining process.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

The discussion features multiple competing views, particularly regarding the ethical implications of consuming mice and the societal reactions to the mouse trap invention. There is no consensus on the appropriateness of the mouse trap or the related food products.

Contextual Notes

Some claims rely on humorous exaggeration and satire, which may not reflect serious opinions or factual statements. The discussion includes unresolved legal and ethical considerations surrounding the invention and its societal impact.

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"High tech mousing that not only kills but crushes and incinerates the victim is offered in a trap devised by Texan Ted M. Moss. His enclosed apparatus lures a doomed rodent into a cylindrical chamber with bait. An electric eye senses the presence of the mouse and actuates a spring driven vertical harpoon that spears the creature on the spot. Once dead, the mouse is crushed between two flat metal plates to a thickness of about three-sixteenths of an inch and incinerated by an electric coil. The trap then automatically places another morsel in the bait chamber and resets itself to harpoon the next small intruder."

-Inventive Genius
Library of Curious and Unusual Facts
Time-Life books, 1991
 
Computer science news on Phys.org
Patent # 4,669,216.1

Finger gaurd for patent #4,669,216.
 
Patent # 4,669,216.2

Mouse ash scraper for patent # 4,669,216
 
Patent # 4,699,216.3

Mouse harpoon sharpener for patent # 4,699,216
 
Patent #4,699,216.4

MouseBeGone Room Deodorizer.
 
Ivan Seeking said:
MouseBeGone Room Deodorizer.


"Are your guests uncomfortable with the odor of burning hair and seared flesh your Moss Mouse Masher creates?

Try MouseBeGone™ Room Deodorizer today!"
 
Patent #4,699,216.5

MouseBeGone Room Deodorizer Neutralizer

Special Note: According to Federal Mandate 21233.33_11_1.4699216 part c
 
"The flattened and roasted rodent is then placed on a soft whole wheat tortilla with sundried tomatoes, arugala and parmesean cheese. It is served with your choice of medium soft drink. It is the McMousetrap mousewrap. Available for a limited time only.

Njorl
 
Life would be so boring without you guys. :biggrin:
 
  • #10
Njorl said:
"The flattened and roasted rodent is then placed on a soft whole wheat tortilla with sundried tomatoes, arugala and parmesean cheese. It is served with your choice of medium soft drink. It is the McMousetrap mousewrap. Available for a limited time only.

Njorl

And soon Subway will introduce a low-carb version of the roasted rodent, this time it is on a carb-friendly Atkins (R) Wrap. Dieters can eat mice and lose weight!
 
  • #11
Njorl said:
"It is the McMousetrap mousewrap. Available for a limited time only."
"While supply lasts, or until we get our A rating back from the health department."
 
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  • #12
APP News General Release: Due to the overwhelming success and health benefits of the "McMousetrap mousewrap", the "carb-friendly Atkins (R) Wrap", and the most successful marketing slogan in history, "Everybody Needs Mouse", the Disney Co. announced today the release of a its newest product to spin off from the so called "critter craze": A new soft drink that comes with proof of spectacular health benefits and called "The Real Mickey". The drink is available in fine strained form or for you heartier drinkers, with the pulp.
 
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  • #13
I drink it for the fiber!
 
  • #14
I drink it every day. Like the label says, "it keeps you squeaky clean".
 
  • #15
Patent # 4,669,216.6

The Real Mickey Home Brew Kit

(Mouse trap - Patent # 4,669,216 - and The Mouse Ash scraper - patent # 4,669,216.2 purchased separately)
 
  • #16
Bah! With all these fast-food mouse places opening up, you just can't good mouse anymore.

Njorl
 
  • #17
Ferret, hampster and gerbil guards, so you don't kill your own pets
 
  • #18
...and then disaster strikes: Mad Mouse Disease!
 
  • #19
Mad Mouse Disease

MAD MOUSE DISEASE



WASHINTON, D.C. - Scores of angry mice have gathered outside various government buildings in the US capitol city of Washington to protest the increasing view of mice as a "viable protein source."

PETA spokesperson, Pamela Anderson, acting as interim representative for the angry rodents until legal representation can be arranged, said that the mice are seeking permanent legal status as "diseased vermin" to curtail the snowballing fad of including mouse dishes on restaurant menus.

"Haven't you ever noticed their ugly, protruding, little butts?" Anderson asked. "Now who in their right mind would want to eat that?"

"It all started with that horrible mouse roasting trap", Anderson continued, "PETA is looking into how to sue him. In the meantime, please have the respect to consider these angry mice to be the diseased vermin they wish to be considered, and don't eat them."



Copyright 2004 Rooters News Service. All rights reserved
 
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  • #20
Now running pretty much down party lines, Democrats are demanding mice rights and Republicans are demanding mice dinners. "American Mouse is Safe" insisted the Republican whip. "What's more, they don't have any rights" he added. "They're just stinking mice!" .

There are some ugly reports surfacing about a practice known as "packratting"; where the mice are raised in little stalls with hardly any room to move, "never once free to scurry and scamper like normal mice" said one protester. Also in the news, in a coordinated effort with PETA, illegal mice fighting rings are hit by SWAT Teams in and around Las Vegas.
 
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  • #21
Soylent Gray - it takes a mouse to catch a mouse.
 
  • #22
Patent #4,699,216.6 DENIED

invention:Soylent Gray made from smashed, incinerated mouse carcass used as bait in Patent #4.699.216.

Decision:Patent Denied

Reason: using mouse to make bait to catch mouse to make bait. PERPETUAL MOTION DEVICES MAY NOT BE PATENTED
 
  • #23
zoobyshoe said:
MAD MOUSE DISEASE



WASHINTON, D.C. - Scores of angry mice have gathered outside various government buildings in the US capitol city of Washington to protest the increasing view of mice as a "viable protein source."

PETA spokesperson, Pamela Anderson, acting as interim representative for the angry rodents until legal representation can be arranged, said that the mice are seeking permanent legal status as "diseased vermin" to curtail the snowballing fad of including mouse dishes on restaurant menus.

"Haven't you ever noticed their ugly, protruding, little butts?" Anderson asked. "Now who in their right mind would want to eat that?"

"It all started with that horrible mouse roasting trap", Anderson continued, "PETA is looking into how to sue him. In the meantime, please have the respect to consider these angry mice to be the diseased vermin they wish to be considered, and don't eat them."



Copyright 2004 Rooters News Service. All rights reserved
WHAT? No mousemeat PIE? :cying:
 
  • #24
Or should be it called 'mincemouse pie?'

- Warren
 
  • #25
Totally different recipe. I would also miss mincemouse pie, just not as much as mousemeat pie. (I like chunky meat more than minced mousey parts. :wink:)
 
  • #26
Don't overlook the obvious desert; Chocolate Mouse. :rolleyes:
 
  • #27
"Not like cats!" cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate voice. Would you like cats if you were me?"
 
  • #28
Mousearoni & Cheese.
Mashed Voletatoes.
Candy bars: Squeakers, Three Mouseketeers, Meece's Pieces, Rit Rat.
 
  • #29
Texan Invents Perpetual Commotion

PERPETUAL MOUSE MOTION?

Rooters

ALEXANDIA , Virginia - "I do not claim PERPETUAL MOTION!" shouts Texas inventor, Ted M. Moss outside the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office, "I only claim a SELF-SUSTAINING process! There's a DIFFERENCE!"

Inventor Moss is here to personally protest the denial of a patent for an adjunct to the now infamous mousetrap that has both outraged animal activists and inspired the Fast Food industry to new heights of creativity.

Moss, who is suing several Fast Food chains both for defamation of character arising from their putated "misuse" of his mousetrap, and simultaneously for a share of the profits they have reaped from it, is, himself the subject of an impending lawsuit to be launched by PETA, on charges not yet specified.

In the meantime, Moss is eager to personally present his request for reconsideration to the head of the Department of Commerce, which oversees the U.S. Patent and Trademark office.

"The man seems to be a coward." says Moss, "He won't directly confront me! That's because he's wrong and he knows it! "Soylent Gray" is no more perpetual motion than a nuclear breeder reactor that manufactures more of its own fuel. I'm not some crazy crackpot claiming PERPETUAL MOTION!"

Rooters News Service. Copyright 2004. All rights reserved
 
  • #30
WASHINGTON D.C. (AP) - The U.S. Food and Drug Administration has rescinded its food pyramid, a staple of nutrtion education in schools around the country. The food pyramid, which advocates a mouse-rich diet, was originally developed in the 1970's as a specialized diet for people at risk for a second heart attack.

"All the studies indicated that a mouse-rich diet was beneficial to people at high risk for heart disease; we naturally thought that benefit extended to the general population," says Dr. Steven Sinclair, leader of the FDA's Mouse Investigatory Committee.

"That damn FDA guy can suck my enormous white ass," says Danny Oakfield, a morbidly obese man in Farmington, Illinois, who has been consuming a high-mouse diet for over thirty years. Despite following the FDA recommendations closely, Oakfield is now in critical condition. His weight fluctuates between an imperial and a metric ton, and he is confined in his unusually large bed. "Yeah, I eat about fifty-five or sixty of them mice every day. The government said I should eat 6-11 servings of mice every day, and well, they ain't too big, so I think ten of 'em is a reasonable serving." When asked what variety of mice he chooses, Oakfield replied "Oh, the bite-sized ones, you know?"

Oakfield is now gathering support for a class-action lawsuit against the government for misrepresenting scientific findings and endangering his health. "We're not worried," said Sinclair, "we have ****loads of money. I mean, absolute ****loads."

Meanwhile, medical science has identified that some kinds of rodents can actually improve health by lowering LDM (low-density mouse-protein) levels. These varities include the Texas longtail mouse, the Zairean mongoose rat, and a rare breed of Indian rat generally referred to simply as "the old ninety-sixer," reflecting its enormous size.

"Man, I'd love to have me some-a-them ninety-sixers. It'd make me healthier, and I could like, put it under my pillow and snack on it for like, days," says Oakfield. "That man's ****ing disgusting," replied Sinclair.