DrDu said:
While the momentum of each atom varies clearly with time (although only infinitesimally), the point is that with a periodic wave of infinite extension, the spatial average is always zero. So there is no time averaging implied.
The spatial average of momentum has to be zero for a standing wave. However, the spatial average for momentum does not have to be zero for a traveling wave. There is a "radiation pressure" associated with traveling waves. The "radiation pressure" is the result of the time averaging the momentum.
I don't have a reference nor have I worked out the mathematical details for a phonon in a crystal. However, I can visualize how a traveling wave in a crystal can move the center of mass of the crystal. I know of two good analogs for "the real momentum" of a phonon.
Ocean waves have a pressure associated with them. It is sometimes said that ocean waves don't move water. Most of the motion of water in an ocean wave is in a circle. Because of the circular motion, the time averaged current caused by an ocean wave is unexpectedly small. However, it is not zero. The Stokes current is a term describing the time averaged flow of water in an ocean wave.
Electromagnetic waves are comprised of oscillating electromagnetic fields. At anyone instant, the force on an electrons caused by an electromagnetic wave can be large. However, the time averaged force of a traveling electromagnetic wave is not zero. The combination of electric and magnetic fields results in a component of force on the electron which is not zero. This results in a traveling electromagnetic waving having a radiation pressure.
A traveling wave mode in a crystal would have to be similar "Stokes current". If two mirror image traveling waves where excited in a crystal, the superposition would be a standing wave. There is no "Stokes current" for a standing wave. However, a single traveling wave mode would have to have a nonzero "Stokes current" associated with it. There would have to be a time averaged translation of the crystal atoms associated with the traveling wave.
Imagine a traveling wave in a finite crystal. The crystal has boundaries. The traveling wave has to be emitted at the beginning of the crystal and absorbed on the other end of the crystal. Spatial averaging the momentum of the entire crystal, end to end, won't be zero. The momentum at the boundaries are not balanced.
I just realized that this may be the real answer to the OP's question. I admit that I hadn't thought it out completely. However, let me try again.
I am trying to learn this, too. The OP's question got me interested. I discovered that I don't know my field as thoroughly as I though. So I am trying out different definitions of "momentum". Feel free to correct me if you find a flaw.
The momentum of a phonon represents the momentum of the atoms spatially averaged over a unit cell when a traveling wave passes through it. The traveling wave causes pressure on the boundaries of the unit cell. If there is nothing holding it in place, the unit cell has to accelerate due to the "radiation pressure" of of the traveling vibrational mode.
An elastic collision between phonons does not change the acceleration of the unit cell. An Umklapp reaction takes place when another unit cell exerts a force that stops the first unit cell from accelerating.
Therefore, I think the "pseudo momentum" of a phonon is really associated with the "radiation pressure" of a traveling vibrational mode on a unit cell. If the boundaries of the crystal are not fixed by external forces, a crystal can move because of the traveling waves. "True momentum" is associated with the radiation pressure of traveling waves on the entire crystal.