Pick-up Lines for the Opposite (or Same) Gender

[TimNguyen]

Hey, do you guys know any good pick-up lines for the opposite (or same, if you prefer) gender? Here's some I came across...

How do you hit on a mathematician?
Say "As I'm a delta away from you, it implies that you're an epsilon away from going out with me."

How do you hit on a physicist?
Say "As I approach you at near the speed of light, I hope I can experience the time dilation of seeing you for eternity."

 

[Pengwuino]

If I even saw someone trying to use either of those pickup lines, id walk up to them and beat them senseless.

 

[honestrosewater]

If I even saw someone trying to use either of those pickup lines, id walk up to them and beat them senseless.

Walk? I thought penguins waddled.


waddle waddle[/size]

 

[Pengwuino]

waddle waddle :D

 

[honestrosewater]

I've heard one about math, but it's uncouth. Here tis:
Hey, do you like math? Well, add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and let's multiply!

Sorry.

waddlewaddlewaddlewaddle...[/size]

 

[Pengwuino]

Dont waddle! how dare you insult my culture :(

And are there any pick up lines in existence that won't receive a slap in the face as a response?

 

[wolram]

If you held 11 roses and looked in a mirror you would see 12 of the most
beautiful things.

 

[wolram]

Mechanic, i am nuts about your chassis, can i take you out for a test drive.

 

[Pengwuino]

No wonder there are so many lesbians.

 

[honestrosewater]

Mechanic, i am nuts about your chassis, can i take you out for a test drive.

That's when I bolt. Hah, bolt.

Sorry.


wafflewafflewafflewaffle[/size]

 

[matthyaouw]

How do you like your eggs in the morning- scrambled or fertilized?
(n.b. Only use this chat up line if you are out of slapping range, really good at dodging, or suicidal.)


Seriously though, I really don't understand the point of chat up lines... I've never heard one that wouldn't repel me instantly, and I've never used one.

 

[hypnagogue]

And are there any pick up lines in existence that won't receive a slap in the face as a response?

How about, "Hey baby, slap me in the face if you want to do the nasty."

My favorite has always been, "Nice shoes. Wanna ****?"

And for the pure cheesiness factor, there's "I lost my phone number, can I have yours?"

 

[honestrosewater]

How about, "Hey baby, slap me in the face if you want to do the nasty."

INconCEIVable!

 

[hitssquad]

Who needs a pick-up line when an image speaks a thousand words?

 

[GOD__AM]

Hay baby can I smell your *****? No, oh then it must be your feet.

 

[wolram]

I feel sick, if any woman falls for these, bless you. your brain is redundant.

Edit:At least Wolram has some common sense (prior quotes deleted)

 

[JasonRox]

I always thought greeting someone of the opposite sex worked pretty well.

Probably the best way to start.

 

[rocketboy]

"hey, my name's _______, (<--insert name here) remember it now because you'll be screaming it later."

I like the roses one.

 

[JasonRox]

Also, I try to avoid personal compliments until I know she has interest in me. This should be obvious within minutes after meeting someone.

 

[cronxeh]

hmm

im going to stick with the shoes one.. and maybe the eggs one

 

[loseyourname]

A friend of mine always wanted to get Jesus, along with something he said, tattooed onto his penis. According to him, he would then use these two lines:

Damn girl, you look like you need some Jesus in you.

The word of the lord - put it in your mouth.

 

[Evo]

<shakes her head>

These threads go downhill so quickly...

 

[loseyourname]

Oh come on, it's not like he would actually do that.* If you don't find that funny, that's fine, but I thought it was hilarious.

*He does like using cheesy lines, though. One scenario in particular that I remember is this: He was working as a cashier at Blockbuster, and when a girl was leaving the store, he turned the alarm on and said he had to check her. When she replied that she wasn't stealing anything, he answered "only my heart."

Just so you don't get the impression that my friends are completely crass idiots.

 

[Evo]

Oh come on, it's not like he would actually do that.* If you don't find that funny, that's fine, but I thought it was hilarious.

I didn't say it wasn't funny.

Just so you don't get the impression that my friends are completely crass idiots.

They do make you look better.

 

[Physics is Phun]

Hey baby! nice assymptote!

 

[mattmns]

Oh come on, it's not like he would actually do that.* If you don't find that funny, that's fine, but I thought it was hilarious.

*He does like using cheesy lines, though. One scenario in particular that I remember is this: He was working as a cashier at Blockbuster, and when a girl was leaving the store, he turned the alarm on and said he had to check her. When she replied that she wasn't stealing anything, he answered "only my heart."

Just so you don't get the impression that my friends are completely crass idiots.

Haha, that is awesome!

 

[The_Professional]

I find that saying a simple hi or commenting on a book she's reading especially when she's in a bookstore does wonders. And if she likes you she'll keep the conversation flowing. When they like you they help you.

 

[rocketboy]

I guess there's a reason your name is "The_Professional".

Lol, my friend used the old "I lost my number can I have yours" line on some girl and he actually started talking to her and got a number...who knows, it might have been fake but it is still funny.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

Last night a woman gave me her number. I asked and she gave it to me. Didn't need any lines. I did flatter her though by telling her that her hair looked great and a couple other things. I was afraid that it wasn't going to go off though because a female friend of mine kept bothering me while I was trying to talk to her. She said that I should stop robbing the nursing homes.

 

[Evo]

She said that I should stop robbing the nursing homes.

Tell me where she is and I'll whack her with my cane!

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

Tell me where she is and I'll whack her with my cane!

Had you been there I'm sure you would have. Her words were actually far worse than what I posted. I think that really she was intervening because she likes me though.



I've used a couple cheesy lines before. I once told a girl "Any man would be lucky to lose his heart to you and if by some freak occurance that doesn't happen you can have dibs on mine." or something approximately like that.

 

[LURCH]

Somehting in French usually goes over well. I like; "Ju Naje, don lu jambon, e formage"(sp; I never learned how to spell it).

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

That would definitely be a cheesy pick up line.

---edit---
ofcourse the only word I know in there is "fromage", and I'm just assuming that you misspelled it and that is the word you were using.

 

[rocketboy]

Somehting in French usually goes over well. I like; "Ju Naje, don lu jambon, e formage"(sp; I never learned how to spell it).

Ya it is definitely spealt wrong, here's what the language translator says your quote means in english:

"Ju Naje, gift read ham, E forming"

Since my french is pretty bad I can't figure out what it was supposed to mean lol.

 

[NewScientist]

You must be tired because you've been running through my mind ALLLL day



I IMHO, have found being a normal guy and saying - 'Hey -I'm ____. Hows it going?' Works well especially if your yourself!

 

[Pengwuino]

You must be tired because you've been running through my mind ALLLL day

Man if I was a girl and heard that, id immediately think "stalker, get away from me"

 

[GarageTinker]

If you want a personal agility testing line try,"Hey, my friends and I are Bar-B-Quing a donkey later on, why don't you join me for a piece." Good chance for some slap-dodging with that one.

 

[TimNguyen]

Here's a SUCCESSFUL one for y'all to use...

"You know, it wasn't my fault that I fell in love... when it was you who tripped me."

 

[HiPPiE]

That's not a pickup line.

"That shirt is very becoming on you. Then again, if I were on you, I'd becoming too."
:0 the impropriety!

 

[rocketboy]

That's not a pickup line.

"That shirt is very becoming on you. Then again, if I were on you, I'd becoming too."
:0 the impropriety!

Hehe, one closely related to that:

"Is that a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in your pants."

Not sure where to put the question mark...

 

[Norman]

A million years ago, as a young drunk punk, with a plastic cup filled with the worst &%*# warm beer in the world, I pulled the line out on some random girl: "Danger is my middle name." Just after I said it, I had to turn away and laugh... only time I ever tried using a pick up line.

 

[Gale]

Somehting in French usually goes over well. I like; "Ju Naje, don lu jambon, e formage"(sp; I never learned how to spell it).

you just said, "i swim. (something) the ham and cheese."
and yes, that was very bad spelling.

i think some guys can use pick up lines and its cute... i mean, depending on the line and delivery... you never believe the line... but you get the idea that he likes you and that he's trying to be cute... so ya.

i always liked, "girl, you're just like some cambell's soup... cause you are mmm- mmm GOOD!" (its fun if you say, mmm-mmm Good the right way)

 

[Smurf]

I've never used pick up lines seriously, except once when hitting on this woman at least 10 years my senior a couple years ago.

 

[LURCH]

Ya, it was s'posed to be, "I swim in the ham and cheese". OK, maybe not conforming to the standard model of romance, but it's the only French I know. (I can say it in Spanish, too, and Portugeuse, and Chinese, German, etc.)

Anyhow, it's not the content, but the sincerity; if you can say it and really mean it...

 

[Smurf]

Yeah... if you can really mean that you swim in cheese and ham, you've got it made.

 

[Evo]

Yeah... if you can really mean that you swim in cheese and ham, you've got it made.

Mmmmm, a guy swimming in ham and cheese! I'd bite!

 

[Smurf]

Mmmmm, a guy swimming in ham and cheese! I'd bite!

nah, it's usually processed

 

[Artman]

How about, "Nice socks, can I wear them on my ears?" (I would never use this, by the way.)

Actually, I find that just being a little quiet and shy seems to work, only I'm not good at carrying it through (probably because I actually am quiet and shy). I've had several girls ask me something to the effect of, "Is that your serious look?" I just smile and say, "No. I was just daydreaming." (Usually true.) I probably could have asked for a number, or if they wanted a drink, or something. One girl, a waitress, told me what time she got off work. She was cute, but I was already in a relationship.

 

[Norman]

Hangin on my office mate's bulletin board:

TOP 10 PHYSICS PICK-UP LINES

10. Wanna dance? I can really put your inertia in motion
9. I know the spring constant of my mattress. Wanna take some data?
8. How do you feel about group experiments?
7. You're more special than relativity
6. I might be a physicist, but I'm no Bohr in bed.
5. Heisenberg was wrong. I'm certain about what you're doing tonight.
4. In my bed, perpetual motion all night long.
3. This shirt would look even better accelerating towards your bedroom floor at 9.81 m/s^2.
2. Top quark or bottom quark?
1. I swear I'm not a physicist.

Pretty bad, but worth a laugh I say.

 

[rocketboy]

Hangin on my office mate's bulletin board:

TOP 10 PHYSICS PICK-UP LINES

10. Wanna dance? I can really put your inertia in motion
9. I know the spring constant of my mattress. Wanna take some data?
8. How do you feel about group experiments?
7. You're more special than relativity
6. I might be a physicist, but I'm no Bohr in bed.
5. Heisenberg was wrong. I'm certain about what you're doing tonight.
4. In my bed, perpetual motion all night long.
3. This shirt would look even better accelerating towards your bedroom floor at 9.81 m/s^2.
2. Top quark or bottom quark?
1. I swear I'm not a physicist.

Pretty bad, but worth a laugh I say.

Hahaha, definitely worth a laugh. Have you ever tried any of them? The problem is most people wouldn't understand...so I'd go with the spring constant. The perpetual mothion one is awesome but only cool people like us at PF know what that means.