A perpetual motion machine that will work

• MightyG
In summary, the magazine's competition asked its readers to come up with new scientific theories, and the winner was a theory about a cat with chicken tikka masala that will hover in mid air because of the butter.
MightyG
a perpetual motion machine that will work...

A magazine held a competition, inviting its readers to submit new
scientific theories on ANY subject. Below is the winner:

Subject: Perpetual Motion

When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is
dropped, it always lands buttered side down. Therefore, if a slice of
toast is strapped to a cat's back, buttered side up, and the animal is
then dropped, the two opposing forces will cause it to hover, spinning
inches above the ground. If enough toast-laden felines were used, they
could form the basis of a high-speed monorail system.

... and then this mail got this reply from one of the readers

buttered toast case, it's the butter that causes it to land buttered
side down - it doesn't have to be toast, the theory works equally well
with Jacob's crackers. So to save money you just miss out the toast -
and butter the cats.
Also, should there be an imbalance between the effects of cat and
butter, there are other substances that have a stronger affinity for
carpet.
Probability of carpet impact is determined by the following simple
formula:

p = s * t(t)/t(c)

where p is the probability of carpet impact s is the "stain" value of
the toast-covering substance - an indicator of the effectiveness of the
toast topping in permanently staining the carpet. Chicken Tikka Masala,
for example, has a very high s value, while the s value of water is
zero.

t(c) and t(t) indicate the tone of the carpet and topping - the value
of p being strongly related to the relationship between the colour of
the carpet and topping, as even chicken tikka masala won't cause a
permanent and obvious stain if the carpet is the same colour.

So it is obvious that the probability of carpet impact is maximised if
you use chicken tikka masala and a white carpet - in fact

this
combination gives a p value of one, which is the same as the probability
of a cat landing on its feet.

Therefore a cat with chicken tikka masala on its back will be certain
to hover in mid air, while there could be problems with buttered toast
as the toast may fall off the cat, causing a terrible monorail crash
resulting in nauseating images of members of the royal family visiting
accident victims in hospital, and politicians saying it wouldn't have
happened if their party was in power as there would have been more
investment in cat-toast glue research. Therefore it is in the
interests, not only of public safety but also public sanity, if the
buttered-toast-on-cats idea is scrapped, to be replaced by a monorail
powered by cats smeared with chicken tikka masala floating above a rail
made from white shag pile carpet.

That has got to be one of the funniest things that I've seen next to the 'Is Hell exothermic or endothermic' paper. Thanks.

Being funny just means I'll lock it instead of deleting it.

1. What is a perpetual motion machine?

A perpetual motion machine is a hypothetical device that can continue to operate indefinitely without any external energy input. It is often described as a machine that can produce more energy than it consumes, violating the laws of thermodynamics.

2. Is it possible to create a perpetual motion machine?

According to the laws of thermodynamics, it is impossible to create a perpetual motion machine. The first law states that energy cannot be created or destroyed, only converted from one form to another. The second law states that in any energy conversion, some energy is always lost as heat. Therefore, a machine that can run forever without any external energy input would violate these laws.

3. Have any perpetual motion machines been successfully created?

No, no perpetual motion machines have been successfully created. Many people have attempted to build such machines, but they have all failed. Some may appear to work at first, but eventually, they stop due to friction, air resistance, or other factors.

4. Why do people still search for a perpetual motion machine?

Despite the impossibility of creating a perpetual motion machine, some people still search for it because it could potentially solve the world's energy problems. However, the pursuit of such a machine is often considered a pseudoscience and a waste of time and resources.

5. What is the role of perpetual motion machines in science?

Perpetual motion machines have played a significant role in the development of physics and our understanding of energy. They have helped scientists to better understand the laws of thermodynamics and the concept of energy conservation. Additionally, the pursuit of a perpetual motion machine has also led to the discovery of new technologies and advancements in engineering.

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