Cleonis: Remember that I'm playing a sort of devil's advocate here, trying to imagine how an ether theorist (which I am not) would respond to the arguments you're making. (Although I'm trying not to say things that aren't actually true--just pointing out an ether theorist's possible alternate interpretation.)
In Minkowski spacetime the conservation law is compliant with the principle of relativity of inertial motion.
Yes, of course. No argument here.
It's not clear to me whether looking at the components of a 4-velocity vector or looking at "the 4-velocity vector itself" is a helpful distinction. What is "the 4-velocity vector itself"? It's the components that you're working with.
The 4-velocity itself is an invariant geometric object; it's the tangent vector to a given worldline at a given event. The components of the 4-velocity are the projection of that invariant geometric object into a given reference frame. The invariant geometric object could be interpreted as "velocity with respect to spacetime" because spacetime itself is the geometric structure within which the geometric object, 4-velocity, "lives".
(As a relativist, I agree that calling the 4-velocity "velocity with respect to spacetime" adds absolutely nothing to our ability to predict anything. But that doesn't mean the 4-velocity isn't an invariant geometric object.)
Another example: Bell's spaceship paradox.
Yes, the accelerating spaceships have 4-velocity vectors that are changing from event to event along their worldlines (with respect to their own proper time). Since the 4-acceleration is the rate of change of an invariant (the 4-velocity) with respect to an invariant (the proper time), it's no surprise that it's also an invariant.
If two spaceships in formation are not accelerating then we have that there are no detectable physical effects (as measured for interactions between the two spaceships), and according to SR there are no physical effects in the first place.
Not in the common rest frame of the two ships, no. But an observer moving relative to the ships will observe them to be Lorentz-contracted, and if that observer is able to measure stresses within the ships, he will measure the Lorentz contraction to be causing detectable compressive stress. (This can be seen by Lorentz-transforming the stress-energy tensor from the ships' rest frame into the moving frame.)
(Of course, as a relativist, I would pounce on this as evidence that it *is*, in fact, *relative* velocity, not "velocity relative to the ether", that has physical effects. But it does illustrate that you can't make a blanket claim that "relative velocity has no physical effects". It does. I know that in the case I just quoted, the ships have no relative velocity--but in the next case, they will.)
These physical effects are attributed to the fact that the formation of spaceships is in acceleration with respect to SR-spacetime, and in that case the physical properties of SR-spacetime kick in.
Well, the fact that
...the amount of kinetic energy that is released comes from the relative velocity of the two objects that are involved in the collision.
could equally well be due to the "physical properties of spacetime", namely those properties that require that energy and momentum are conserved. Also, the ships start out at rest relative to one another, but they don't stay that way, in either of their own rest frames. So are the effects they observe due to the acceleration itself, or just due to the fact that the acceleration changes their relative velocities so they're no longer at rest relative to one another?
(Again, as a relativist I would point out that none of this changes the fact that the accelerating case is very different from the case of inertial motion, and that the difference is fundamentally due to the fact that the accelerating observers *feel* an acceleration. I just don't know for sure that this would stop the ether theorist from trying to come up with a notion of "velocity with respect to spacetime" as well.)