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Are you glad you broke up?

  1. Sep 25, 2011 #1
    Logically, there should be a good reason both persons aren't together anymore. But, sometimes, do you have mixed feelings about it? After all, there must've been a reason you got together in the first place, yeah? Anyway, me speaking to the ex fairly regular as of late made and a post (quoted below) I read on another thread got me thinking about this.

    Damn right, I am. Sure, there were some good things about it but they aren't things another woman *can't* give. But back when things got too messed up, I didn't know that. It's pretty cool how "this" made me grow in some ways and I learned some interesting things along the way. I also met other women who could more on the table: they could do what she could, except better *and* they weren't anywhere as selfish as she is. It was a very emotionally taxing experience, to say the least. Good riddance. Break ups are, more often than not, portrayed as very depressing events. It was...for a week. And a few more, because I didn't know how to deal with the absence. But, if there is such a thing as a happy break up, I think this one is a fine example of it.

    And yeah, I really do agree about this. The more I talked to her, the more I saw the things I truly did not like. Things that were not very obvious then but things that meant we couldn't have worked out. At least, not for too long. Also, when somebody's been such a horrible b-word, it's hard to find the cute things cute. The cute things just look like desperate cries for attention. Just gets annoying.

    How did this work out for you? Do you still talk to your exes? Have you tried doing this at some point? Or are exes and awkward encounters with them things you avoid like Rebecca Black? I would have said "the plague" but I suspect the young Miss Black here is much worse...
  2. jcsd
  3. Sep 26, 2011 #2


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    If I wrote a letter to my ex, it would say:

    "Thank you for not changing a single thing about yourself since our divorce."

    I can't think of anything else worth saying to her.

    And I like Rebecca Black. She really knows her days of the week!
  4. Sep 26, 2011 #3
    Well, that is...polite.

    I was a little surprised I didn't feel any anger at all. I expected it to be more dramatic, what with her being my first girlfriend and all that jazz. Blergh - just indifference. Anyway, it's not that I'm complaining, I just find this outcome interesting.

    I find my new-born niece more interesting...and I don't even like kids. She makes all those gestures on Skype. I have a feeling she saw Tarzan and thinks she's a monkey. She's hairy too! :)
  5. Sep 29, 2011 #4
    Always glad to break up. If you're breaking up it's for a reason. Hopefully you made the call, but then, it's always the person in control who makes the call.

    It's almost always a good idea to NOT talk to an ex after breaking up. After a break up you need to move on and not obsess about the past. A clean break is better.

    The amount of people who are emotionally tied to ex's from YEARS ago is terrible. People need to move on, it's much healthier.

    You can't put your arms around a memory
  6. Jan 4, 2012 #5
    I know that it is always the one who initiates the break up is better off. however since I was the one being let go I still have feelings for them, I have been going through a lot with work/job/stress and my communication skills are lacking and I can understand why she left. However I'm working on my faults for a better me, still wanting to get back. Not sure how to approach it, or should I?
  7. Jan 4, 2012 #6
    You should not try to get back together with her. Move on, cut off contact, and focus yourself on a new girl or girls.

    Have you been with anyone knew since this last girlfriend? I'd guess not.

    It's easy to perseverate on an ex when you're not with anyone new, especially after being dumped. But if you can move forward and find someone new, you will be happy to find just how easy it is to move on and feel happy again.

    Go out and meet someone new, move on, and you can be happy. Hell, meet lots of new girls. No need to tie yourself down.

    Also, you may have issues you need to work on. Self-improvement is always good, we should all strive for excellence. But don't let your ex's opinion of you lead you to change. It should be your own decision, not the decision of someone who doesn't care about you.
  8. Jan 29, 2012 #7
    I'm finally ending an on-off relationship for good right now. I feel great most of the time. Sometimes I think about the good times and it seems like a lot to 'throw away' (multiple years). But I know I've just been staying together with her out of comfort.

    It took me a year after the relationship before this one to meet her. Seems to take longer and longer to meet someone new, but I think I'm ready to get back out there.
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