Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally Asked by Manuel_Silvio

Why those rhymes from far ancient times chose to settle down in wind chimes?

So when the wind blows hard, those rhymes do retard, and we find those stupid quentions from the ancient card!

If life "Is like a box of chocolates" then why run?

 

[Mentat]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
So when the wind blows hard, those rhymes do retard, and we find those stupid quentions from the ancient card!

If life "Is like a box of chocolates" then why run?

Chocolate gives me gass.

Where do you think Forest's mother got the "Gump" part from?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally asked by Mentat

Where do you think Forest's mother got the "Gump" part from?

Gets Under Mom's Pillows!

If the end is the last thing you will ever see, then why did it rhyme?

 

[Manuel_Silvio]

I tell you it didn't!

How could you ever think about it?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally Posted/asked by Manuel_Silvio

How could you ever think about it?

Cheeeese, My first interview, well, you see the idea first came to me one long and lonely night whilst I was sitting at my typewriter. The Coffee had been brewing for some time and the wind was most assuredly NOT howling at my door (it was summer after all) so it was the most experiantial thing that could have arisen, given the timing and the place, and the other variables that are, well, just too long to go into tedious detail about, so if brief, the socks I was wearing, oooops, I wasn't wearing socks, that's right, the shoes were sandals and the pants joggers. In a T shirt was I dressed, and the long and the short of it is, well, to long to go into here, so I'll just give you the skinny, (the 'short of it' for all of you not involved in the 'skinny of things') (actually I was a little overweight at the time but...) it was likened unto something that I had not experianced before, so I decided to write it down, but that backfired when I, six months later, decided to re-read what I had written, and realized that it was un-intelligable to anyone other then myself, so I continued, until this very day, when I now tell you all this little story, (clearly well truncated, but just as clearly, easily, readable, and so direct, and to the point that it behooves you to respond to it) that was what happened when I had decided to tell you all about how I thought of it!

Clear enough?

 

[Manuel_Silvio]

Well, the matter seems clear now. You've the right excuse for thinking so but then something is wrong here, let me see ...

If the wind was NOT howling at your door, where could it be howling then?

 

[mouseman]

At your door.

If you can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, how come you can't pick your friend's nose?

 

[climbhi]

Who says you can't?

If you're friend had a cast on both his hands and couldn't pick his nose and asked you to do it for him, would you?

 

[mouseman]

Only if he doesn't have cooties.

Asphinctersezwhat?

 

[22-16]

snfansaofnqaqa.

Why do we use the internet when we can just use homing pigeons?

 

[Manuel_Silvio]

For we hate AOL Times Warner monopoly on Multimedia MIME-enabled homing pigeons who've registered HPCP port 666 for their so-called well-known service breaking the rules stated in all hacker legends that date back to the time when no rules where set yet.

* HPCP -> Homing Pigeon Control Protocol, their so-called competitor to TCP which in fact runs on IP, lame!

Which came first, pigeon or pigeon egg?

 

[J-Man]

Manuel_Silvio asked:
Which came first, pigeon or pigeon egg?

To get to the other side.

How many light bulbs does it take to change a chicken?

 

[Manuel_Silvio]

As for light tulip bulbs the answer is 42. Assuming medium tulip bulbs will result in total confusion while heavy tulip bulbs have better prospect in changing a chicken if they're used in accordance to the accompanying manual. For optimal performance please use factory defaults, alternative/jazz/rock/pop/reggae settings are not guaranteed not to blow it all up.

What is the alternative?

 

[Andy]

when considering chickens, you must remember to what extent do the tulip bulbs effect the average human being, and when thinking about this issue, do you a. get confused, b. get pissed off as you know how much more sense this makes than the last message, or c. need to reply in order to make you feel like u have accomplished something in your pittiful little unfortantly exsisting lifes!

 

[Mentat]

Originally posted by Manuel_Silvio
As for light tulip bulbs the answer is 42. Assuming medium tulip bulbs will result in total confusion while heavy tulip bulbs have better prospect in changing a chicken if they're used in accordance to the accompanying manual. For optimal performance please use factory defaults, alternative/jazz/rock/pop/reggae settings are not guaranteed not to blow it all up.

What is the alternative?

There is no alternative, the answer to everything is 42.

Does this mean that 42-year-old should have all of the answers?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally asked, appropriatley, by Mentat

Does this mean that 42-year-old should have all of the answers?

No, first you must reach 42, then you must surpass it, then, and only then, when regressing back to the age of your original enlightenment, about 5, will you even begin to realize that, NO!, you do not now, nor will you ever, have all of the answers, because, and only because, you will be missing one singular piece of information, and I will never-tell you that one,Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

What is the missing piece of information?

(A classically stupid question, cause only I can answer it! {Re-insert string of Ha Ha's Here!} and as I said, I'll never tell, well maybe tomorrow, but......)

 

[J-Man]

Mr. Robin Parsons asked:
What is the missing piece of information?

That if the answer to everything, and what the actual question is (to everything) are both known at the same time, obviously, we will all be sucked into a great big ball of silly-string.

What do you get if you multiply six by nine?

 

[Another God]

Originally posted by J-Man

What do you get if you multiply six by nine?

42.

How many paths must a man walk down?

 

[Manuel_Silvio]

The answer my friend, is blowin' in the wind. In other words, this is a very good example of how pigs and politicians have the same beginning but end differently.

Everywhere there's lots of piggies living piggy lives, why should we live in these dummy boring piggy hives?

 

[Another God]

because its a maze in here! Have you ever actually tried to get out?


How exactly does one 'excite' an electron?

 

[BoulderHead]

How exactly does one 'excite' an electron?

By telling it nasty stories about the nucleus. They get a real charge out of that…


Should a woman always be given what she wants?

 

[Chemicalsuperfreak]

What is the plural of mongoose?

What does rhetorical mean?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally asked by Chemicalsuperfreak

What does rhetorical mean?

Why didn't you bother asking, then I could have answered!

What was/is it that I would have answered?

 

[J-Man]

Mr. Robin Parsons asked:
What was/is it that I would have answered?

Probably something to do with 42 sheep jumping in and out of a puddle of muddy slush.

Why did everyone ignore BoulderHead's question?

 

[FZ+]

Because they are cowards! Cowards!

When is someone actually going to answer Boulderhead's question?

 

[BoulderHead]

Originally posted by FZ+
Because they are cowards! Cowards!

When is someone actually going to answer Boulderhead's question?

haha, I thought I had become invisible for a while.


Someone take a chance and answer please.

...and watch the women descend upon us.

 

[Mentat]

Originally posted by FZ+
Because they are cowards! Cowards!

When is someone actually going to answer Boulderhead's question?

Answer to Boulderhead's question:

Within reason (believe me, that is a very stupid answer (*hopes there are no women reading this*)).

Why were women every considered the "weaker vessel"?

 

[BoulderHead]

Originally posted by Mentat
Answer to Boulderhead's question:

Within reason (believe me, that is a very stupid answer (*hopes there are no women reading this*)).

Why were women every considered the "weaker vessel"?

Because we men were and are completely mistaken about nearly everything.
*ducks head down into shoulders and cuts eyes left and right.*


I think women are fantastical. Could they be the center of the Universe and what life is all about?

 

[Mentat]

Originally posted by BoulderHead
Because we men were and are completely mistaken about nearly everything.
*ducks head down into shoulders and cuts eyes left and right.*


I think women are fantastical. Could they be the center of the Universe and what life is all about?

One "stupid quetion" at a time, boulderhead.

The stupid answer to your quetions are (in the order of there having been asked):

1) Yes.
2) Women.

 

[FZ+]

Well, depends on how massive they are. If they are indeed of sufficient girth to act as a center for the universe, (as some studies suggest <insert disreputable science website here> ) then we would have no alternative but to accept that conclusion.

As this would logically cause a variety of relativistic effects, how does these connations manifest themselves?

 

[BoulderHead]

Originally posted by FZ+
As this would logically cause a variety of relativistic effects, how does these connations manifest themselves?

I'd be afraid to express it in polite society but surely the angle of the dangle would be equal to something...



Are perturbations from large asteroids a part of these computations?

 

[Manuel_Silvio]

The largest known asteroid (ca. 932 km diameter) is Ceres, the goddess of agriculture, grain and the maternal love. Since it is maternal love it can't be focused on the audience who've long since left their motherly concerns. Viewed computationally, the effects are large enough to outweigh Europa's burning love and you know

"Hush now baby, baby don't you cry
Mama's going to check out all your girlfriends for you
Mama won't let anyone dirty get through
Mama's going to wait until you get in
Mama will always find out where you've been
Mama's going to keep baby healthy and clean
Oh baby! Oh baby! Oh baby!
You'll always be baby to me"


Has anyone on PF seen Aphrodite's golden apples?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally Asked by Manuel_Silvio

Has anyone on PF seen Aphrodite's golden apples?

No haven't seen them, but I suspect that that is what we were all fed at the soup kitchen, sometime last week.

If Xazen (Zah-zen) means 'beyond zen', and my e-mail address is Xazen13, does your fear of e-mailing me make you Xazen13aphobic?

 

[Mentat]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
No haven't seen them, but I suspect that that is what we were all fed at the soup kitchen, sometime last week.

If Xazen (Zah-zen) means 'beyond zen', and my e-mail address is Xazen13, does your fear of e-mailing me make you Xazen13aphobic?

Of course it does, what kind of a stuid quetion was that?
(In point of fact, a phobia is an unbased fear, but that would be the smart answer...)

How many different kinds of stupid quetion are there?

 

[Ben-CS]

Negative three.

Where do cowboys in Texas buy the cell-phones that they all seem to be carrying?

 

[Manuel_Silvio]

At their local Texas-Cowboy-suitable-cell-phone-seller-o-matic.

How could Zeus love both Europa and Ganymede?

 

[BoulderHead]

Originally posted by Manuel_Silvio
At their local Texas-Cowboy-suitable-cell-phone-seller-o-matic.

How could Zeus love both Europa and Ganymede?

One at a time.


Which size floppy do you prefer to have; the 3.5 or the 5.25?

 

[Ben-CS]

The 3.5 will fit into either slot...

Will the next-smaller floppy be a 1.75 or a 2+1/3?

 

[Manuel_Silvio]

Neither. First we had 5 + 1/4 and then 3 + 1/2 so the next must be either 1 + 1/1 which makes 2 that will surely fit in all slots.

Are we going wild rude?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally Asked by Manuel_Silvio

Are we going wild rude?

Tarnation, By Golly, heck, and wildfire, jumping Ge-hos-efats, gosh, darn, jeeeeepers, YES!

When you curse, do you become cursed?

 

[Manuel_Silvio]

Depends on whom you curse, usually curses find their way along with philosophical statements. If that isn't the case, you'll go curved instead of cursed.

Why did the thread lose its audience for the past 48 hours?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally asked by Manuel_Silvio

Why did the thread lose its audience for the past 48 hours?

Becasue the stupid quentions were soooooo stupid, that no one, and I mean NO ONE, could come up with anything, even seemingly close, to a stuuuuupid responce, or the answer is 42! (I not all that certain, heh heh heh hee!)


If you fear fear, are you not a Phobiaphobic?

 

[Ben-CS]

No, you would be a phobophobic.

What do alligator tears taste like?

 

[vacuum]

Beeeeh

Let me try, ... Aaarghhh!

Why does the wolf slaughter all the sheep in the barn, when he could be satiated with only one?

 

[BoulderHead]

Originally posted by vacuum
Let me try, ... Aaarghhh!

Why does the wolf slaughter all the sheep in the barn, when he could be satiated with only one?

He may be driven by instinct to never pass up an opportunity.


Why is there a ‘re’ in refrigerator, does it get things cold more than once or something?

 

[FZ+]

It's a philosophical comment on the cyclic nature of spacetime, duh.

What is the point of the saying "wolf in sheep's clothing", considering that neither wolves nor sheep wear any clothing?

 

[Mentat]

Originally posted by FZ+
It's a philosophical comment on the cyclic nature of spacetime, duh.

What is the point of the saying "wolf in sheep's clothing", considering that neither wolves nor sheep wear any clothing?

I know it has something to do with mama wolves' making sweaters for their pups...

What does it really mean to "cry wolf"?

 

[Manuel_Silvio]

According to the latest version conspiracy theory, that's a way a to get hold of somewhere you don't belong.

Why do wolves come in herds?

 

[FZ+]

Become they most certainly do not come in peace.

Why do sci-fi aliens never say hello, only "we come in peace" or "DIE DIE DIE"?

 

[Manuel_Silvio]

For the one decipherable SETI@home message for them was some politician (don't know who) shouting "we come in peace, otherwise, DIE DIE DIE" at some poor microphone.

Why do Sci-Fi aliens use glittering means of transport instead of a decent Mercedes Benz A-Class?