Smilatinanity is, of course, a neuropathy occurring in smilodons. It is rumored that the Neanderthals were driven to extinction due to their inability to provide coordinated bursts of sarcasm while being attacked by a 400 pound cat with 7 inch teeth. A smilodon that has been properly smilatinundated (as the process of applying smilatinanity is called) will cross its eyes, acquire a greenish hue on its foot pads, and warble show tunes while attempting to upstage everybody (which attempt will often cause the smilodon, in its feline confusion, to plunge over the nearest cliff). As the aesthetic sensibilities of the hominids of that era were not very developed, a smilodon was quite harmless in that state.
But how, you may say, is this jellitive? Well, at some point, hominids developed aesthetic sensibilities, which of course were offended by the sight of an enormous cat making like Ethel Merman. The most sensitive among this new breed of hominid would, in fact, expire on the spot. (It is fortunate that soon after this evolutionary development, every last smilodon was kidnapped by aliens for use in nefarious interplanetary experiments in musical theater.) When the autopsies were carried out it was found that some of the internal organs of their fallen comrades had jellitivated into an undifferentiated mass. There are also those who believe that this result was simply an artifact caused by the crude tools used in the autopsies of the era.
When jellitivity was first proposed, there was found to a temporal paradox that indicated that show tunes would spontaneously move through time by jumping to different species even though experiments showed that there was no medium to support this transmission. How was this paradox resolved?
