No problem, pure plagiarism... from the SubSITE,Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
So your boss just handed you "The" Primo assignment, Book deal, the whole nine yards, two years to write it, lotsa up front signing bonu$, so time, and comfort, are no longer a dilema, but you have just received the instructions from, 'Le Boss (Jeebus) and they want you to write all about why no one has discovered how to write the name BOB backwards, they want you to explain how it's done, minimium 60,000 words!, can you get it done, and How?
You very carefully take a Bite of "The Apple of your eye..."...(but gently, you don't want to hurt anyone) then following the rule of BOB, you move to BOB, to find BOB'ed'ness, in BOB's (Nirvana) Zone, then after you have exaulted your Bob'ed'nees, you relax with the one you, well, like being around!Originally posted by firefly
So, as you BOB for your Bone-us, how do you re-emerge once your world sways with Slack SubGenius ways?
In view of the circumstances, I'd let the dog back in. I think both reptiles might realize the source of the scent, and mistake the emergent temperature difference as a path to the tropics ... at which point I'd kick the dog out again and both reptiles would follow, only to continue fighting: over the dog. (No worries about the dog, he's too smart to stick around for the duel.)Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Given that your Bone-Us, wasn't, how do you go about removing the crocodile, that is fighting the Alligator, (in the smell of that darn Dog's Flatulance) in your igloo?
Well, I'd start by Dreaming, then working, to make my Dreams come true, then living the Dream life, then exit, to Nirvana...WhoooWho!Originally posted by firefly
Now that your igloo has a nice stratum of cold air as a carpet, and stinkier and warmer strata above, and you are stuck within (for without, rapacious animals are at large), without even the company of a dog or a nice spiky ravenous reptile which might make short work of your fears (and your life), how do you go about making life worth living again?
This is entirely your choice, know who-one can determine the best choice for you... it really depends on...Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons: Woowho?
Well, if I find the person who knows 'who' knows "who", I'll be certain to tell them to tell you, too!Originally posted by firefly
Who are you? who, who? who, who?
Are you quite sure that I don't?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
When you look up, why is it that you don't see the top of your head?
Ahhhh that is because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and you cannot see that...but I can(?)...Originally posted by firefly
Why is the top of my head of such interest? Perhaps the location of the frontal cortex, or the temporal lobes, or be there some interest in my relative motor control I know not, but the rest of me fails see see what relevance it's got!
As long as it takes for you to ex-see-d your pay shuns, but then again I've never had particularly fiscal tendonsee(s)?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
If you run around, how long will it take?
People who 'tend', tend to be tender, and tending of that which is 'tended', hence we can know that all tended tenders are tender, and tenderly tending to be tended to, by other tenders, but only by submission, by mail, is it tended, to be tended, as a tender, tenderer...Originally posted by firefly
If all tendons are connected to something, then how do you describe people with tendon-Sees, tendon-Cigarettes, and tendon-allsorts of other things (just ask Hypnagogue... not to say, follow the implied example, just for argument's sake)?
Originally posted by a disjointed Mr. Robin Parsons
When you speak so of 'joints', are you really just trying to elbow me out, or is it 'plastered' that you wanted me to be, cause 'welding' generates "smoke", and weeze all know just what youse doin, if you smoking a joint?
Pitch in another $1.75 and go buy yourself a coffee!Originally posted by a spendythrifty zoobyshoey
What was I going to do with the money I collected?
I'm thinking, but I don't know what my thoughts about that will end up being.Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Why is it that, while thinking a thought, you don't know what the next thought, is, even though that thought arises from within your own brain??
Yes, so long as the people at the post office fix your car, (Truck) and the people at the garage agree to mail your mail for you, then the balance will hold, BUT should it be that the posties 'mech' and the mech's won't 'post', well, come back here, 'post' to tell us, so's we can's arrange a Universal rebalancing Ritual that will set "all things" straighter then straight!Originally posted by zoobyshoe
If I accidently take my car to the post office to be repaired am I then require to bring my mail to a garage to post in order to maintain balance in the universe?
It asked what good was it doing you being straight, when the thought, clearly wrenched into some other form could not possibly have been thus and so influenced by societal disshevelings.Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
While posting my 'mechanical' I was struck by a wrenching thought, that was posted on the fence post of the garage, right across from the post office, and it asked me...what?
Gather round! Gather round, good people, and see, just have a gander at what demon vodka has done to poor ƒireƒly! She cain't italicize no more! Ya see? She cain't fit into her clothes no more, you see? She is so gripped by the claws of demon vodka that she cain't even make heads or tails of nothing no more!. Don't let this happen to you, brothers and sisters. Don't let yerselves become the victim of demon vodka, don't let yerselves be a slave to patater mash, nor spud squeezin's as sister ƒireƒly has done. Join me, one and all, in a prayer for her sorry, skinny, un-italisized, headless, tailess soul!What's the best way to react if you spot a chicken crawling on all fours across the road to get to the other side but the traffic is too heavy for it to ever make it?Originally posted by firefly
Are you a direct Internet Service Provider for Parsons Vodka (Doooooon't make me go get the italic stuff I'm not up for it right now!) or, can you provide a list of retailers? or even tailers. heck, I could even use a tailor since I've dropped two sizes and there's no tail left on me, and I just can't make heads or tails of anything any more... (there was a question in there somewhere. the free spirited sort I believe.)
Go get a pot, a scraper and a spoon, some potatoes, celery, onions, and fresh Ahhhh say FRESH ginger root, wait till the chicken's attempt is lethally thwarted by passing vehicles, and go scrape yourself up some chicken soup base... don't forget the bones. Them's the best part.Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if you spot a chicken crawling on all fours across the road to get to the other side but the traffic is too heavy for it to ever make it?
I wouldn't venture to find out since the best thing to do with a four legged chicken would not be to make soup but to trade it to the gray space aliens for a guarrantee of lifetime towing service.If you were crawling on all fours, all tangled up in your loose and slipping clothing, tripping over four legged chickens, not an italic to your name, and clutching your bottle of Parson's™ Sparkling Aged Vodka, white knuckled, as if it were gold, not knowing your head from your tail, how would you unscrew the jar of olives?Originally posted by firefly
Do you think a genetically modified (4 legged) chicken will make your cold go away faster, or just get you run over instead of run down?
If I were crawling around on all fours, it would be for other reasons... say, searching for a miniscule object dropped on the floor. So I am not qualified to say.Originally posted by zoobyshoe
If you were crawling on all fours, all tangled up in your loose and slipping clothing, tripping over four legged chickens, not an italic to your name, and clutching your bottle of Parson's™ Sparkling Aged Vodka, white knuckled, as if it were gold, not knowing your head from your tail, how would you unscrew the jar of olives?
Chicken, four or two-legged, never agree to be eaten. I have therefore, never eaten a chicken that really agreed with me.Given the recent scourge of leprechaun mischief in Sicily, with their starting fires in electrical devices and blowing up wedding presents, and also since March is Irish history month, and that month in which we celebrate St. Patricks Day, perhaps you could enlighten us on the Italian word for Leprechaun?Originally posted by firefly
Just how many four-legged chickens have you been eating, Honorable, Mr. Alien? (I don't think they agree with you.)
Uses "Phone a Friend" option, guido answers, no he won't tell, says it isn't fit for public broadcast...hummmmm wait, now he wants the name adress and phone for the person asking the question cause he wants to...oooOOOOOPS! **hangs up the phone**...real fast!Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Given the recent scourge of leprechaun mischief in Sicily, with their starting fires in electrical devices and blowing up wedding presents, and also since March is Irish history month, and that month in which we celebrate St. Patricks Day, perhaps you could enlighten us on the Italian word for Leprechaun?
This is the clincher, yes. However I want it on record I already knew he was, and had complete faith in his omniscience before this riddle was solved.Incidently, what is the answer to the age old Leprechaun riddle concerning the cart full of 20 sacks of potatos, 3 mules, the river with three bridges, the drunken cart driver, the blarney stone and the O'Tooles' new sheep dog?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
...so, given this is it now really, really, really, really, really, really, really clear that, MRP is the only person!, in the entirety!, of the History!, of the Universe!, who can solve all of The Riddles of The Ages?
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
This is the clincher, yes. However I want it on record I already knew he was, and had complete faith in his omniscience before this riddle was solved.
Incidently, what is the answer to the age old Leprechaun riddle concerning the cart full of 20 sacks of potatos, 3 mules, the river with three bridges, the drunken cart driver, the blarney stone and the O'Tooles' new sheep dog?
The goat was a tiger in rabbits clothing wearing a goat costume for a masquerade ball, the wolf was a riddle wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma. However, they both happened to enjoy a good swim whenever the opportunity presented itself.Incidently what is the answer to that age old Japanese koan:" Who's on first?"Originally posted by selfAdjoint
Why did the wolf and the goat cross the river?
Hu san first koaned the term "Misochiwo" and gave it to his firstborn child.Incidently what is the answer to that age old Japanese koan:" Who's on first?" [/B]
Legume. A real human bean.Anata wa, nihongo hanasitaka?Originally posted by firefly
Is Misochiwo san girl or boy?
Ya! Sure! but when I turned the key, the wheels fell off, so I walked home...Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Anata wa, nihongo hanasitaka?
`that'?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
While walking home, I saw 'that' guy, you know who 'that' is, don't you?
The answer?... "He ran off, with the sacrifice" but it seems, just a little, out of 'context' when you don't tell the rest...Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Incidently what is the answer to that age old pre-Columbian riddle about the Aztec, the Maya and the Anazazi who go into a bar?
Only those who have mastered the art of starting a thought before they think it, can stop it before they think it.Once when I was bored I found myself in possession of a waffle iron, a measuring tape, and a piece of rope, and proeeded to amuse myself by hoaxing crop waffles. What is the meaning of the word "Scripple"?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Can you stop a thought, before you think it?