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The problem is your Location: at the bottom of a Quantum Well. I suggest using the Heisenberg Compensator.

I hear talk of this Quantum telepathy business, but I have to ask, what was Newtonian telepathy?
 
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Ivan Seeking said:
I hear talk of this Quantum telepathy business, but I have to ask, what was Newtonian telepathy?
It's straightforward: without saying a word you fling apples at them till they get the message.

Once in high school my French class went on a field trip to Montreal, Quebec, Canada. Having finished my apple, I flung it out the window of the van, and by complete accident a Canadian person waiting at a bus stop received the apple core in the face. For one brief instant I saw a face with the most completely perfect expression of shock you could concieve of surrounded by a halo of apple shrapnel.

Do you suppose he learned anything from it?
 
Only if you first shouted "Voici, la pomme arrive!" Otherwise he comprehended nothing. (thank you for the grammar correction, plover :biggrin: )

Last week I attempted to use Occam's razor to settle an argument, but I ended up with an unsightly rash. :frown:
Should I have instead used Occam's Easy-off Wax Strips or Occam's Quick Remover Gel with new fresh lilac scent? Has anyone tried these yet?
 
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Math Is Hard said:
Last week I attempted to use Occam's razor to settle an argument, but I ended up with an unsightly rash. :frown:
Clearly you used a dull Occam's razor. You have to hone it and strop it.
Should I have instead used Occam's Easy-off Wax Strips or Occam's Quick Remover Gel with new fresh lilac scent? Has anyone tried these yet?
Since I'm not a sissy, I haven't tried these, no. (Lilac scent! C'mon!)

Why is it that tumbleweeds are so nosey?
 
Why is it that tumbleweeds are so nosey?

'Cos they are so eager to know the colour of your underpants that they tumble around at your feet.

A one thousand tons sumo-wrestler keeps thinking that he is a balloon. What should i do?
 
physicskid said:
A one thousand tons sumo-wrestler keeps thinking that he is a balloon. What should i do?


Push him off a building and watch him float like a lead balloon.


Do tumbleweeds need to look up at Sumo wrestlers to see what colour underwear they are wearing, seeing as all Sumo wrestlers wear are nappies?
 
jimmy p said:
Push him off a building and watch him float like a lead balloon.


Do tumbleweeds need to look up at Sumo wrestlers to see what colour underwear they are wearing, seeing as all Sumo wrestlers wear are nappies?

Not if there inside his underwear.

Why do you paint all these little donkies all the time?
 
Rader said:
Why do you paint all these little donkies all the time?
By Re-establishing the Role of Donkeys as the Bearers of All Bright Color, the Esoteric Brotherhood of the Atlantean Rainbow Donkey (EBARD) Seeks to Revive the Glory of Mighty ATLANTIS where, as it is Written:
At the Water's Edge
like Braying Butterflies
those Stubborn Jewels
the Many-hued Donkeys
Stood Adored by the Light
Reflected from the Sun-sparked Sea!​


How did EBARD Resolve the Great Acrylic vs. Tempera Debate?
 
Actually the debate was over Acrylic vs. Tempura. The debate was quickly resolved through a taste test sponsored by EBARD where only one of the two mediums was found to be a tasty dipping sauce for battered and fried vegetables.

How hard would it be to tie-dye a donkey?
 
Math Is Hard said:
How hard would it be to tie-dye a donkey?
I'm not sure. I know Mexicans do it all the time, but I don't know how. It's related to pinata technology.


Does anyone know the rule for the direction of the candy motion when you whack a pinata into a magnetic field?
 
zoobyshoe said:
I'm not sure. I know Mexicans do it all the time, but I don't know how. It's related to pinata technology.


Does anyone know the rule for the direction of the candy motion when you whack a pinata into a magnetic field?


You speak of El Burro-Bandito's Law of Magnetic Glucose Displacement. I haven't read much of it, but I know it is something to do with the size:sugar ratio and the angle at which the pinata is hit, and whether the pinata is tye-dyed or plain.

For more information, look at www.colourfulpinatawhacking.com[/URL]


If you tie a freshly tye-dyed pinata up and whack it at a magnetic field only to find it was a real donkey, would you feel a bit of an ass?
 
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Kurt Masur? No way - you're confused. I think you are thinking of Cool Whip. That stuff tastes great frozen. It's just like ice cream.

I was just remembering how we used to go out hunting for quantum wells when I was a kid. Oh, those were fun times! We would get some positively charged bait and tie it on a string and then lower it down into the well. You had to jiggle the string a little bit, but sure enough, a few minutes later an electron would bite and you could yank it up out of the hole.
Once everybody had an electron, we'd draw a circle on the ground and everybody would put their electrons inside the ring and we'd make 'em fight each other like little tiny gladiators. Oh, man! That was so-
Wait, no.. it's not electrons I'm thinking of.. that was something else. What WERE those things?? :confused:
 
Math Is Hard said:
Kurt Masur? No way - you're confused. I think you are thinking of Cool Whip. That stuff tastes great frozen. It's just like ice cream.

I was just remembering how we used to go out hunting for quantum wells when I was a kid. Oh, those were fun times! We would get some positively charged bait and tie it on a string and then lower it down into the well. You had to jiggle the string a little bit, but sure enough, a few minutes later an electron would bite and you could yank it up out of the hole.
Once everybody had an electron, we'd draw a circle on the ground and everybody would put their electrons inside the ring and we'd make 'em fight each other like little tiny gladiators. Oh, man! That was so-
Wait, no.. it's not electrons I'm thinking of.. that was something else. What WERE those things?? :confused:

Man those were bumble bees, they eat electrons, that's why they buzz around. By counting the electons swallowed you can calculate the angular momentum and thus know there age.

How come you do not know that?
 
Because I was breathing too much air when the teacher was giving that lecture.

How come air can be so addicting?
 
Daggath said:
Because I was breathing too much air when the teacher was giving that lecture.

How come air can be so addicting?

Because oxygen tastes nice and as there is only a smallish amount in the air you need more and more and more and it gets addictive.

Why is there only a small amount of oxygen in air?

The Bob (2004 ©)
 
The Bob said:
Why is there only a small amount of oxygen in air?

Evil air fairies are rationing it so when we are hooked, the air fairies will start charging us by the bottle, then use that money to bribe the governments and take over the world. They will make us all their slaves and we will be forced to work in their glitterdust mines or be forced to cold turkey. You have been warned.

How can we stop the evil air fairies from taking over?
 
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jimmy p said:
Evil air fairies are rationing it so when we are hooked, the air fairies will start charging us by the bottle, then use that money to bribe the governments and take over the world. They will make us all their slaves and we will be forced to work in their glitterdust mines or be forced to cold turkey. You have been warned.

How can we stop the evil air fairies from taking over?

Kill them.

What with?

The Bob (2004 ©)
 
The Bob said:
What with?

The Bob (2004 ©)


Silly string them to catch them in mid air, and then use a fly swat.

How should you clean up fairy guts?
 
jimmy p said:
Silly string them to catch them in mid air, and then use a fly swat.

How should you clean up fairy guts?

With a cloth and disinfectant.

What disinfectant?

The Bob (2004 ©)
 
jimmy p said:
How should you clean up fairy guts?
In general, you have to burn them. Unfortunately, fairy combustion uses up vast amounts of oxygen. Which leaves us with the original problem...

It is well known that fairies are made up of glittery matter. It is theorized that if fairies come into contact with dark matter, they de-nature into ordinary matter. (Apparently they turn into garden gnomes which, as a rule, can be satisfyingly demolished with a moderate sized rock.)

How will we find enough dark matter to combat the fairy menace before we all end up in the mines?
 
plover said:
How will we find enough dark matter to combat the fairy menace before we all end up in the mines?
I'm not sure I buy this "fairy menace" propaganda. Mostly they're harmlessly preoccupuied with showtunes and interior decorating, aren't they?

On the other hand, I don't like the sound of "Garden Gnomes". What is it they're up to in the garden?
 
Perhaps they are ploting to take over the world, or get revenge on whom ever turned them into gnomes.. Why do the first letters of "Garden Gnomes" when put together become GG ( Good game ) ?
 
Daggath said:
Perhaps they are ploting to take over the world, or get revenge on whom ever turned them into gnomes.. Why do the first letters of "Garden Gnomes" when put together become GG ( Good game ) ?

We have moved on from the point of the fairies and how to destroy them but I think it is the same so that the gnomes had little to remember. 'What do we say after a game??' 'Oh we can say GG because that the same as the big gate and it says 'Garden Gnomes' so we can remember it'.

Why are Garden Gnomes stupid?

The Bob (2004 ©)
 
The Bob said:
Why are Garden Gnomes stupid?

Because Garden Gnomes live in the garden and never do any gardening!

Why did I even bother to read the first eight pages of this thread?
 
quarkman said:
Why did I even bother to read the first eight pages of this thread?


Because you are a garden gnome in disguise.

Why do peoplpe who have garden gnomes have to adorn the rest of their garden with tat?
 
jimmy p said:
Why do peoplpe who have garden gnomes have to adorn the rest of their garden with tat?
The laws concerning the ethical treatment of garden gnomes require that they be kept in an approximation of their native habitat. The SPCGG takes this very seriously.

The original SPCGG was founded in the early 20th century by Prudence Rottweiler Thrushburnmoorport (a distant cousin to the Dufflehintington Thrushburnmoorports). How did "Puncie" (as she was called) become obsessed with the ethical treatment of garden gnomes?
 
Puncie's first love was a garden gnome, and in those times romance between gnomes and humans was strictly forbidden, especially if the romance involved an heir to the Thrushburnmoorport estate. Her family would not allow the marriage to take place, but she remained a sworn champion of gnome rights until her last days. Years later her cause was continued by a group in France calling themselves the Garden Gnome Liberation Front. http://www.cnn.com/2000/STYLE/arts/04/12/france.gnomes.reut/

What sort of clashes tend to arise between this French group, and the American organization, People for the Ethical Treatment of Gnomes, and how do their ideologies differ?
 
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Math Is Hard said:
What sort of clashes tend to arise between this French group, and the American organization, People for the Ethical Treatment of Gnomes, and how do their ideologies differ?

Big clashes. :smile:

(To change the subject) Why do peas come in pods?

The Bob (2004 ©)
 
The Bob said:
Why do peas come in pods?
Peas are concerned about the welfare of whales, but since they are incapable of direct action to "save" the whales, the best they can do is pay homage by adopting the same group term.

Why is it that peas are concerned about the welfare of whales?