Bad Math Jokes

[BWV]

Tree is a number in some Irish accents...

Tree(4) is a number, and a rather large one

 

[fresh_42]

The whole apples, oranges and bananas being equal to 4 reminds me of a previous post of mine.

A tree is a unit. I always used it when I wanted to demonstrate that a unit is part of an exercise, or that different units cannot be added:

> $3m+4m=7$
< $7$ what? Trees?

> $2m^2+ 3m^3=5$
< $2$ trees and $3$ bushes are what?

 

[julian]

Tree. 5 trees.

 

[malawi_glenn]

 

[Borg]

-1 didn't go out with him either because she was an i cube.

 

[jedishrfu]

...which was a negative in my book.

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[DrGreg]

That also works for decades of your life, 0–10 years old, 10–20 years old, etc

 

[benorin]

That also works for decades of your life, 0–10 years old, 10–20 years old, etc

I don’t recall the citation but I remember reading somewhere that a human has experienced half their perceived lifespan by age ~22 (and that’s without time dilation, physicists make relativistic shenanigans if they please?)

 

[benorin]

 

[benorin]

 

[benorin]

link to full article: https://bigthink.com/the-well/atheism-rare-rational/

 

[BillTre]

 

[DaveC426913]

 

[mfb]

Now I wonder what's in the other regions of overlap.

 

[Ibix]

Now I wonder what's in the other regions of overlap.

A complete version exists in the Lame Jokes thread. (I think wasp needs to be read as both wasp and WASP for the incel/fig overlap to work.)

 

[pinball1970]

A complete version exists in the Lame Jokes thread.

It took me a while
The other shared parts made the whole thing make sense

 

[Ibix]

It took me a while

It relies on knowing that an incel is a male who can't see why despising all women who won't have sex with him on demand might be off-putting to women, assumes that attitude won't shine through every interaction he ever has with a woman, and then blames all women for him not having any luck with the ones he tries with.

 

[DaveC426913]

 

[pinball1970]

It relies on knowing that an incel is a male who can't see why despising all women who won't have sex with him on demand might be off-putting to women, assumes that attitude won't shine through every interaction he ever has with a woman, and then blames all women for him not having any luck with the ones he tries with.

Actually it was the fig / date / date plus excel part that clicked it.
I saw a true crime program on an incel person who decided to kill as many people as possible by driving his truck on the pavement as fast as he could.
Very disturbing.
A very good channel on YouTube that shows interviews then applies criminal psychology techniques.

 

[DaveC426913]

I saw a true crime program on an incel person who decided to kill as many people as possible by driving his truck on the pavement as fast as he could.

Well this took a dark turn...

Happened here in T.O. Canada is smaller than US by an order of magnitude, so ten dead to us is like 100 to America. We just don't get this level of violence up here.

 

[pinball1970]

Well this took a dark turn...

Happened here in T.O. Canada is smaller than US by an order of magnitude, so ten dead to us is like 100 to America. We just don't get this level of violence up here.

That's the one. This guy is very good, in depth analysis.

 

[Johnny Yuma]

Not all math puns are terrible...just sum

 

[BillTre]

 

[mfb]

Not all math puns are terrible...just sum

You asked for a collection of 10/10 jokes, but that's just 1 joke.

 

[256bits]

The triangle finished the discussion with the circle "You are pointless!"

 

[jack action]

Think long and hard before trying to do the math:

 

[BillTre]

Think long and hard before trying to do the math:

View attachment 319227​

Cut the two apples in half with a single stroke.
This gives four halves.
Throw one away.

 

[Ibix]

Cut the two apples in half with a single stroke.
This gives four halves.
Throw one away.

Less dark than my approach...

 

[berkeman]

Less dark than my approach...

Yeah, same here.

 

[Ibix]

Yeah, same here.

Remind me not to get in a car accident wherever it is you're an EMT...

 

[berkeman]

Less dark than my approach...

Well, given the the position of the knife...

Blond Boy: "Hey, we could have just thrown away one of the apple halves!'

Brown-Haired Girl: "Hmm, I didn't think of that..."

 

[Baluncore]

First, pick up the knife, then think.

You don't have to swim faster than a crocodile, only faster than the slowest member in your group.

 

[pinball1970]

No issues with maths and I suppose it is going to me that has to say it out loud.
Cut one apple in half for the chaps and give the lady the full one, we all know they would not hear the last of it otherwise.

 

[Halc]

Auld Lang Sine

Should unit circle be plot out
while using axis Y,
The unit circle thee plot out
is a graph entitled 'sine()'

A graph entitled sine, my love,
A graph entitled sine!
A classic trigonomic set
is a graph entitled "sine()"

-- An original just now by my daughter

Happy New Year all!

 

[jedishrfu]

Happy New Year!

Your daughter wins the poetry of math competition. The next best entry was from ChatGPT:

As the year comes to a close,
We say goodbye to all that's been,
But before we turn the page and start anew,
We sing a song that never fails to renew:

The words of "Auld Lang Syne" ring true,
As we celebrate the old, and look forward to the new,
With memories of friends and loved ones dear,
We raise a glass and bring in the new year

The sin and cos of time have brought us here,
To this moment, bright and clear,
We stand together, hand in hand,
Ready to face whatever this new year has planned.

So let us sing and dance and cheer,
As we bid farewell to the old year,
And welcome in the new with open hearts and minds,
For auld lang syne, we'll leave behind.

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[Ibix]

If you have a string of final length and call this length 1, then you need irrational portions of such strings to make a circumference.

If you have a string that makes a circumference and you call its length 1, then the part of it that represents the diameter is irrational.

You cannot have both at the same time.

...because that would be irrational.

(Sorry - could not resist, but didn't want to pollute thread.)

 

[jack action]

 

[Ibix]

If I had 50p for every maths test I failed I'd have £6.30 by now.

 

[martinbn]

View attachment 321282​

Impressive that 2% of the people can!

 

[jedishrfu]

Those 2% folks drink a lot of milk.

 

[pinball1970]

Those 2% folks drink a lot of milk.

In the UK we would say, they have had their Weetabix. I looked on the internet this afternoon to try and find a good maths joke for pf, my favourites are mathematician, physicist, Engineer jokes.

I tried quite a few sites (lunch hour) and I realised I had read all of them in one form or another on pf.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

True story: The first time a physics professor walked in and started talking about canonical coordinates, for a moment I thought he meant conical coordinates but had been drinking.

Moral of the story: Read the material before class.

 

[jedishrfu]

or wear a cone hat?

My friend and physics coconspirator liked to ask me questions after our tests which I didn't like to answer. In one case he asked about some problem and said he got x=... y=... and z=... and my reply but it was a 2D problem... mic drop...

 

[Ivan Seeking]

nice guy

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Both a math AND a philosophy joke

 

[Baluncore]

You take a third way, pulling the lever, but only half way, derailing the trolley.