Bad Math Jokes

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BWV said:

This reminds me of the time in a Physics Lab when calculators were first being used mid-70s. We saw a student measuring some circuit and using the calculator to compute the voltage. We knew it to be 1.5V but the student got 1,500V so much for calculator math and user error. When asked how he got the answer, he said that what the calculator said.
 
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mfb said:
I was trying to make a joke about commuting math grades, but I was not Abel.
What's purple and commutes? An Abelian grape.
What lives at the bottom of the sea and commutes? An Abelian grouper.
What makes up a circus and commutes? An Abelian troupe.
What's in the army and commutes? An Abelian troop.
What looks like a tree and commutes? An Abelian Groot.

Any more for any more?
 
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benorin said:
The elementary school I went to had like 20 ft high ceilings, they planned ahead.
People have been getting taller over the decades.
 
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Ivan Seeking said:
Not really. Rulers just keep getting shorter. It's a mystery.
Relativistic contraction can explain everything.
 
mfb said:
Rulers moving fast is a rare occurrence.
Can you not simply place it in a car or inside an airplane? Could you not do this for virtually any inanimate object whose mass will not slow down either of these modes of transportation?
 
What is a Mathematician's Favorite Johnny Depp Movie? ∫π’s of the Caribbean.
 
DrGreg said:
##r##
They often tell you that be a pirate's favourite letter, but the truth is, their first love, it be the ##c##.
 
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Ibix said:
Wouldn't a pi rate be something like ##\frac{d\pi}{dt}##?
DrGreg said:
##r##
Ibix said:
They often tell you that be a pirate's favourite letter, but the truth is, their first love, it be the ##c##.
<My reaction:>

[itex]\mathrm{rate \ of \ change \ of \ } \left\{ \frac{1}{3} r^3 \right\}[/itex]

[itex]r \ dr \ r[/itex] 😆
 
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I can't believe nobody posted this:

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a grape?

---- elephant grape sin(θ)

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a mountain climber?

---- Nothing. A mountain climber is a scalar.
 
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Teacher: what's 110+10

Student (yelling loudly): FIVE
 
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