Simon Bridge said:
leptons can be electrons and mesons for eg.
Leptons are never mesons. Mesons are quark-antiquark bound states (setting aside exotic possibilities) and thus are hadrons : they feel the strong force. Leptons do not feel the strong force directly. Leptons and hadrons are actually the two broadest classification for matter particles.
Simon Bridge said:
But if you mean "why are all electrons exactly the same as each other" the answer is we don't know, they just are. There does not seem to be any reason for them to be different.
This is not quite correct either. The fact that all electrons are the same is indeed a postulate in quantum mechanics. But it is not a postulate of quantum field theory, rather it is to be seen as a consequence of the axioms
(1). The difference between quantum mechanics and quantum field theory is that the latter is the only known consistent way of combining quantum mechanics with special relativity
(2). All electrons arise as excitations of the same field.
The specific mathematics has to do with local fields and (anti)commutation rules, but there is a neat physical way of understanding why two electrons cannot have distinguishing intrinsic properties once special relativity is taken into account. Say you have two electrons in front of you. You cannot exclude that in the future, one of them will annihilate with a positron, and that this positron is the same as the one with which your other electron was created long ago in the past.
If you did create both electrons separately, you had to produce at least two positrons to do so (or something even more complicated involving neutrinos), the argument becomes longer, but essentially remains the same. So, neglect this complication for the moment, imagine that you did not create those electrons yourself.
So let us say that long ago in the past, one of your electrons was created like so :
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/ab/Feynman_diagram_for_Pair_Production.svg
The positron goes on to live his own life, you come along and compare the electron on the right with another and the claim is that they cannot be different. This claim stems from the fact that the other electron could in the future annihilate with the same positron in the image above, in a reverse diagram. Essentially, when you stick special relativity into quantum mechanics, quantum numbers flow along world-lines in spacetime, and we can interpret opposite quantum numbers for antiparticles as flow from the future (the arrow on the positron line is to the past, this is an arrow for quantum number conserved along the world-line, although the positron momentum does flow to the future : the positron traveling to the future is indistinguishable from an electron traveling to the past).
This business is not just neat, it means that we derive precise relations between electron-positron annihilation into two photons and electron-photon (Compton) scattering for instance. Those are called
crossing relations.
(1) As always in physics, there is of course no axiomatic derivation of reality. The indistinguishability of electrons was known before quantum field theory, and while unexplained it was taken into account in the formulation of the theory. What I am trying to convey here is a common point of view that, when quantum mechanics and special relativity are put together, antiparticles and the indistinguishability of excitations of the same field become a necessity.
(2) Attempted generalization of quantum field theory of point particles, such as string theory, share the same properties w.r.t. crossing and the relation between fields and their particle-antiparticle excitations. In fact, string theory is even more radical in this respect, since according to it
everything would be excitation of the same unique field.