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Being Social versus Being Educated

  1. Mar 25, 2013 #1
    I'm no renaissance man. I'm plagued by insecurity which motivates me to learn ******** that I barley comprehend. Sure compared to the average I'll brilliant, but what does that really mean? I can't even compete with those who are simply know what others have discovered. I know I'll never make my mark in history, I've come to terms with that. That being said, I'd still like to have some satisfaction in knowing that I'm not entirely an idiot.

    Lately I've found myself acting erratically. I've left my ever so comfortable shell and started to spend more time with normal people. I enjoy spending time with them, but it honestly feels like a burden to me. I've gotten the unbelievable opportunity to date a simply stunning girl, who is clearly too good for me, but when I think about our plans I'm not happy. I'm slightly sad. In-fact I strongly think about cancelling or simply not showing up.

    Have you found a nice balance in your life, or did you settle for one? Got any stories to share.
  2. jcsd
  3. Mar 25, 2013 #2


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    Staff: Mentor

    It seems English is not your first language, perhaps some English courses could help to boost your confidence.
  4. Mar 26, 2013 #3
    Dont over think your situation. Socializing probably feels burdensome because you are not used to the activity. It is analogous to learning a new subject in math for example: It can be difficult and tedious at first but once you establish your foundation the math becomes easy.

    And dont make the stupid mistake of leaving the girl... And why is she "too good" for you?
  5. Mar 26, 2013 #4

    jim hardy

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    Science Advisor
    Gold Member

    Your post sounds familiar. I reached adulthood socially awkward and suffering low self esteem.

    She should make that judgement, not you.

    Good start. Mine had so many layers I thought it must be an onion.
    The journey may be longer than you anticipate.


    I don't know what you mean.

    Believe me, I could bore you with them.

    I will go out on a limb here and suggest a book that helped me.
    "Psycho Cybernetics" by Maxwell Maltz
    He says we act out our own "self image".
    His book is a practical text on how to improve that image.
    Here's a brief introduction:
    http://www.attitudedeterminesaction.com/articles/Psycho_Cybernetics_Notes.pdf [Broken]

    For what this is worth - I too dated a girl clearly too good for me.
    So I took self-inventory and worked at becoming a better person.
    We've been married now for about twenty one years.

    old jim
    Last edited by a moderator: May 6, 2017
  6. Mar 26, 2013 #5
    After reading other posts of yours elsewhere, I wonder if it may help to talk to professionals about this.
  7. Apr 2, 2013 #6

    Thank you for your response. I guess that is true, and something I'll generally become better with. IMO she is stunning and just has an amazing personality. She has turned down guys more impressive merits than me, so it confuses me a bit. That night I was very upset and I did partially cancel our plans, but in the morning when she followed up I had calmed down and things went great.

    @jim hardy,

    Thank you for your response. I feel that I'm currently on that road, but it's hard to get off it. I meant did you pick one over the other, but you said you found a nice balance. I think I might struggle a bit in finding a good balance, but for now I think I'm leaning towards interaction. I pick up my studies any time, but the longer I put off socializing the harder it'll be. I read over your link and I did enjoy it. To an extent I did attempt to apply it. It felt a bit cheesy, but it did help. Great to hear, hopefully I'll have a happy ending like you lol.


    I'm perfectly fine. I'm extremely insecure in some areas, yet disgustingly arrogant in other areas. Insecurity motivates me.

    I went ahead and gave things a chance. We are currently in a relationship!
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