So, I am really terrible with Calculus, but I wish to pursue a career in physics research. So far I have been scraping by well enough, but it is very difficult. I noticed that Mechanics and Electricity & Magnetism are pretty much just applied calculus. Conceptually, I understand calculus just fine, but I am absolutely terrible at working through problems. Essentially I have trouble memorizing and synthesizing the many identities required to work through calculus problems. What I want to know is: Is it possible to pursue a career such as physics research without knowing calculus backwards and forwards? I know that there are computer programs (and calculators) that can solve calculus problems, and I'm sure many physicists utilize these tools, because it would be too tedious to work everything out by hand all the time. On the other hand, how can I expect to come up with something new if I do not have a full understanding of what has already been established? I suspect I already know the answer, and that the solution is to simply try harder and study more often. However, I was hoping to get some input from those in the field.