Collection of Lame Jokes

[davenn]

haha ... I suspect there's a lot of us guys that could relate to that

 

[fresh_42]

"Welcome to Tesla Motors! How can I help?"
"I'd like to talk to you about the Prius in your exhibition."
"There is no Prius in our exhibition."
"Well, ... now there is."

 

[davenn]

something else a lot of guys can relate to

 

[Stavros Kiri]

something else a lot of guys can relate to

View attachment 120705

(way prior to that) Watch out for the first sign! It usually starts by telling them to sleep on the couch, ... which is actually just one step before the door! ...
... the usual excuse being that the other fancy dog or the kids sleep in the bedroom now with "mom"! ...

 

[davenn]

 

[Stavros Kiri]

"Welcome to Tesla Motors! How can I help?"
"I'd like to talk to you about the Prius in your exhibition."
"There is no Prius in our exhibition."
"Well, ... now there is."

Is that the new "low pressure" way to get rid of your old car?

 

[hsdrop]

So my 15 year old today asked me where did "god" come from?
I simple told him to google the Boltzmann brain

 

[Stavros Kiri]

No words

 

[jtbell]

What do you call a rabbit with piles and piles of Easter eggs?

A billion-hare.

 

[Stavros Kiri]

So my 15 year old today asked me where did "god" come from?
I simple told him to google the Boltzmann brain

I thought google was the god ... . Could it also be a Boltzmann brain? Could we too?

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what?
You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me.
When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you stayed right here.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side...
You know what Martha?"

"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"I'm beginning to think you're bad luck."

 

[fresh_42]

I told my friend, that my mom doesn't hear very well. He should speak slowly and loud.
I told my mom, my friend is mentally a bit behind.
Now let's have fun!

 

[jtbell]

Now that the Easter Bunny has finished his big gig for the year, where will he go for vacation?

Grand Rabbits, Michigan.

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

Easter in Louisiana

 

[hsdrop]

Easter in Louisiana

View attachment 195184

i'm guessing that bunny eat all the eggs instead of hiding them lol

 

[BillTre]

That bunny incubates its eggs, but if they get too hot they all turn male!

 

[davenn]

i'm guessing that bunny eat all the eggs instead of hiding them lol

That bunny incubates its eggs, but if they get too hot they all turn male!

and on top of all that, it's got to be the ugliest bunny I have ever seen hahaha

 

[nuuskur]

It's the Easter Gator!

 

[Buffu]

Easter in Louisiana

View attachment 195184

That is literally the cutest bunny I have every seen.

 

[EnumaElish]

Easter in Louisiana

View attachment 195184

Clearly the bunny has been devoured.

 

[davenn]

That is literally the cutest bunny I have every seen.

well, as they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder

 

[Stavros Kiri]

and on top of all that, it's got to be the ugliest bunny I have ever seen hahaha

I don't think it's a bunny ...

 

[nuuskur]

What I would like to know is how they put that bunny ear thing around its head without losing at least a finger.

 

[BillTre]

I'm sure that the set of tricks alligator handlers have would include these observations of that photo:

There's a black strap around its muzzle. They have strong closing bites, but weak opening muscles.
Its tail is being held.
Its costume can be snapped on.

and Maybe lowering its body temperature would make it more docile.

 

[DrClaude]

Easter in Louisiana

View attachment 195184

Easter Rabbit, what big teeth you have!

 

[davenn]

Easter Rabbit, what big teeth you have!

speaking of which ... reminds me of the killer bunny in Monty Python - Search for the holy grail

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q...11AB1064239C1C924DEA11AB1064239C1C9&FORM=VIRE

 

[phinds]

What I would like to know is how they put that bunny ear thing around its head without losing at least a finger.

This is a particularly smart gator. He figures that by letting himself be disguised as a bunny, he can sneak up on more of them for lunch, so he did not object to the costume.

 

[Borg]

This is a particularly smart gator. He figures that by letting himself be disguised as a bunny, he can sneak up on more of them for lunch, so he did not object to the costume.

I don't think that he accomplished this on his own. He must have had some gator-aide.