Collection of Lame Jokes
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"Welcome to Tesla Motors! How can I help?"
"I'd like to talk to you about the Prius in your exhibition."
"There is no Prius in our exhibition."
"Well, ... now there is."
"I'd like to talk to you about the Prius in your exhibition."
"There is no Prius in our exhibition."
"Well, ... now there is."
Stavros Kiri
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(way prior to that) Watch out for the first sign! It usually starts by telling them to sleep on the couch, ... which is actually just one step before the door! ...davenn said:
... the usual excuse being that the other fancy dog or the kids sleep in the bedroom now with "mom"! ...
Stavros Kiri
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Is that the new "low pressure" way to get rid of your old car?fresh_42 said:"Welcome to Tesla Motors! How can I help?"
"I'd like to talk to you about the Prius in your exhibition."
"There is no Prius in our exhibition."
"Well, ... now there is."
hsdrop
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So my 15 year old today asked me where did "god" come from?
I simple told him to google the Boltzmann brain
I simple told him to google the Boltzmann brain
Stavros Kiri
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No words
Stavros Kiri
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I thought google was the god ... . Could it also be a Boltzmann brain? Could we too?hsdrop said:So my 15 year old today asked me where did "god" come from?
I simple told him to google the Boltzmann brain
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As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what?
You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me.
When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you stayed right here.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side...
You know what Martha?"
"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
"I'm beginning to think you're bad luck."
You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me.
When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you stayed right here.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side...
You know what Martha?"
"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
"I'm beginning to think you're bad luck."
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I told my friend, that my mom doesn't hear very well. He should speak slowly and loud.
I told my mom, my friend is mentally a bit behind.
Now let's have fun!
I told my mom, my friend is mentally a bit behind.
Now let's have fun!
hsdrop
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i'm guessing that bunny eat all the eggs instead of hiding them loldavenn said:
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hsdrop said:i'm guessing that bunny eat all the eggs instead of hiding them lol
BillTre said:That bunny incubates its eggs, but if they get too hot they all turn male!
and on top of all that, it's got to be the ugliest bunny I have ever seen hahaha
Buffu
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davenn said:
That is literally the cutest bunny I have every seen.
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davenn said:
Clearly the bunny has been devoured.
Stavros Kiri
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I don't think it's a bunny ...davenn said:and on top of all that, it's got to be the ugliest bunny I have ever seen hahaha
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I'm sure that the set of tricks alligator handlers have would include these observations of that photo:
There's a black strap around its muzzle. They have strong closing bites, but weak opening muscles.
Its tail is being held.
Its costume can be snapped on.
and Maybe lowering its body temperature would make it more docile.
There's a black strap around its muzzle. They have strong closing bites, but weak opening muscles.
Its tail is being held.
Its costume can be snapped on.
and Maybe lowering its body temperature would make it more docile.
Mentor
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Easter Rabbit, what big teeth you have!davenn said:
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DrClaude said:Easter Rabbit, what big teeth you have!
speaking of which ... reminds me of the killer bunny in Monty Python - Search for the holy grail
http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q...11AB1064239C1C924DEA11AB1064239C1C9&FORM=VIRE
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This is a particularly smart gator. He figures that by letting himself be disguised as a bunny, he can sneak up on more of them for lunch, so he did not object to the costume.nuuskur said:What I would like to know is how they put that bunny ear thing around its head without losing at least a finger.
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I don't think that he accomplished this on his own. He must have had some gator-aide.phinds said:This is a particularly smart gator. He figures that by letting himself be disguised as a bunny, he can sneak up on more of them for lunch, so he did not object to the costume.
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