Collection of Lame Jokes

[artis]

 

[artis]

 

[artis]

Russian army in Ukraine? - A special military operation

Sweden and Finland joining NATO? - A special cooperation

 

[artis]

 

[pinball1970]

Er yes guys...let's see how far we can push the mods! (Joke honest)

Anyway...A biologist a chemist and a statistician go on a deer hunt. The biologist fires 6 inches to the right of the Deers head, the Chemist 6 inches to the left.

The statistician shouts,

'we hit hit it!'

 

[pinball1970]

"So you're an exorcist, that's interesting. When you travel for an exorcism, do you get paid per diem?"

"No, I get paid per demon."

Can't lie, I had to look up Diem before I upvoted. Even though I have used the phrase Carpus Diem to sound clever at some point. Then I looked up Carpe Diem to check I said it right. I didn't.

Anyway Schrödinger gets pulled over by the police and they check his boot (trunk if you are USA)

Police officer: 'Do you realize you have a dead cat in your boot sir?'

Schrödinger: 'Well now I do!'

 

[artis]

Er yes guys...let's see how far we can push the mods! (Joke honest)

Anyway...A biologist a chemist and a statistician go on a deer hunt. The biologist fires 6 inches to the right of the Deers head, the Chemist 6 inches to the left.

The statistician shouts,

'we hit hit it!'

Plot twist,

The reason both missed is because the rifle was manufactured by a quantum physicist, the bullets from that rifle interfere with themselves and produce a probability distribution

 

[DennisN]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[artis]

View attachment 299976

Somebody should paint a fake road barrier in front of that fake tunnel

 

[artis]

Most already know the Ukrainian stamp about the soldier who flips a bird to the Russian warship

But now there is an update , the ship sank while being towed to port, therefore the updated stamp looks like this

We have to be precise...

 

[artis]

Also there is a new "CAPTCHA" ,

"Click on all squares containing Russian warship"...

 

[fresh_42]

 

[DennisN]

Also there is a new "CAPTCHA" ,

"Click on all squares containing Russian warship"...
View attachment 299996

View attachment 300019

Incredibly funny, both of them!

 

[DennisN]

 

[BillTre]

 

[artis]

View attachment 300056

On the bright side, at least the husband will never have problems remembering how they first met...

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 299976

I wonder if the police in Columbia SC have had any similar reports?

 

[artis]

Z boson just called - after 24th of February 2022 it wants it's identity changed...

In other particle physics news, the Russian army performance in Ukraine is now considered a "weak interaction"

 

[BillTre]

 

[jack action]

We will continue to have meetings until we find out why no work is getting done.

 

[BillTre]

We will continue the beatings until morale improves.

 

[Borg]

We are expanding the bureaucracy to accommodate the needs of the expanding bureaucracy.

 

[artis]

We are expanding the bureaucracy to accommodate the needs of the expanding bureaucracy.

This I'm afraid is both sad and true and funny at the same time

 

[Borg]

This I'm afraid is both sad and true and funny at the same time

I can't take credit for it. It's a quote from the game Civilization.

 

[artis]

I can't take credit for it. It's a quote from the game Civilization.

Just don't let the Russians play that game , they might destroy it.

PS. Is there an option to threaten with nukes in that game?

 

[Borg]

PS. Is there an option to threaten with nukes in that game?

Yes, there are nukes in the game. It's not so much threats but using them comes at a cost diplomatically if I remember correctly.

 

[pinball1970]

We will continue to have meetings until we find out why no work is getting done.

Is that a physics thing? Blimey, I have lost the energy to work out these jokes

 

[artis]

I have lost the energy

Where did you lose it? Energy is conserved IIRC