Collection of Lame Jokes

[BillTre]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

 

[dwarde]

Bear attack is in now.

 

[phinds]

 

[berkeman]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Due to recent safety issues with a number of commercial aircrafts, airline employees are now specially trained to put concerned passengers at ease.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 355070

That's a bottle of glue, but what's the rest? Milk?

 

[berkeman]

Yes, sorry that the copy/paste picture is a bit fuzzy. (oops, sorry for the pun)

 

[Ibix]

My origami business folded.

 

[jtbell]

When did Superman's foster parents, on their farm in Smallville, realize that they had a special kid on their hands?

When he started running faster than a speeding pullet.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[Swamp Thing]

A snail calls the police to say he has just been mugged by two slugs. They ask him to give more details about what exactly happened.

"I don't know, I can't remember too much -- it all happened so fast!"

"OK, just try to remember anything that might help".

"Well, I do know it was two homeless guys".

 

[Ivan Seeking]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

 

[BillTre]

 

[berkeman]

 

[jtbell]

This stirred up a memory from studying Russian a long time ago.

"I didn't do anything" translates as «Я ничего не сделал», which word for word says "I nothing not did."

 

[jtbell]

Even better: "Nobody said anything" = «Никто ничего не сказал» = "Nobody nothing not said."

Now that I think of it, Spanish is similar. "I didn't do anything" = "No hice nada".

 

[mathwonk]

also French.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Also, Rocky.

 

[Orodruin]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Reminds me of Space Force: "It is great to be black on the moon... uh, back on the moon."

 

[Ivan Seeking]

View attachment 355264

How do they know it was meant for the woman?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I saw something about the so-called "Mothman of Point Pleasant". It made me wonder why they didn't just put out a giant lightbulb.

 

[Ibix]

I saw something about the so-called "Mothman of Point Pleasant". It made me wonder why they didn't just put out a giant lightbulb.

"Doctor, doctor, you have to help me! I think I'm a moth!"
"Sir, I'm a dentist not a psychiatrist."
"I know, but your light was on."

 

[Orodruin]

 

[jtbell]

Marmite?

 

[Swamp Thing]

Surströmming ?

"During the production of surströmming, just enough salt is used to prevent the raw herring from rotting while allowing it to ferment. A fermentation process of at least six months gives the fish its characteristic strong smell and somewhat acidic taste." (Wikipedia)

 

[Orodruin]

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hákarl

https://satwcomic.com/nordics-like-fish

 

[gmax137]

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hákarl

https://satwcomic.com/nordics-like-fish

I tried the shark (Hákarl) when I was in Iceland. An acquired taste, even more so than Marmite.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Sharks and humans are mutually edible. We like them and they like us.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

 

[dwarde]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

This was the playground for bad kids.

 

[Orodruin]

 

[DaveC426913]

Also, Rocky.

Hunh!

 

[DaveC426913]

View attachment 355346

This literally happened to me just on Friday with my 20 month old grandson.

He does not distinguish between home computer and work computer. "Poopah"'s home computer plays CocoMelon.

He came in while I had stepped away for a second and managed to send ''.'/'/''// (including pressing Enter) to my entire Slack team before I could stop him.

What could I do but follow up with "Grandson says say hi, apparently."

Luckily everyone sent .

 

[DaveC426913]

 

[jack action]

and managed to send ''.'/'/''// (including pressing Enter)

Seeing all those slashes, my heart skipped a beat as my brain quickly jumped to "rm -rf /*" and went directly to .

 

[Orodruin]

Seeing all those slashes, my heart skipped a beat as my brain quickly jumped to "rm -rf /*" and went directly to .

I once intended to do ”rm -rf *~” in a project folder about a week before it was to go on the arXiv. Only problem: I managed to hit enter before ~ …

Luckily most of the project files were still open in emacs and therefore buffered. Simply saving them again restored essentially everything without need to come crawling to the institute’s admins to access the backup servers …

 

[DaveC426913]

Seeing all those slashes, my heart skipped a beat as my brain quickly jumped to "rm -rf /*" and went directly to .

Indeed. Between him and his older sister, they have started a game of "Mash Poopah's keyboard as much as possible." I have seen a Command Prompt open with -f in typed in it. So we don't play them game anymore.

Here's the original:

 

[jtbell]

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"Retired."

 

[nuuskur]

View attachment 355205

Spoiler

 

[jack action]

Here's the original:

I see, he's on a better path, developing aptitudes for regexes.