Collection of Lame Jokes

[Borg]

That's knot funny.

 

[jtbell]

News flash: Old MacDonald the farmer has won an award at the state fair for being out standing in his field.

 

[gmax137]

That's knot funny.

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 356491

It's Knott('s)?

 

[WWGD]

 

[Orodruin]

That's knot funny.

https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxmZWjXQYb48CLDOvQFmNw8XTPgGcXv7bL?si=zVM2wupRpaNUFJQh

 

[jack action]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[Borg]

I must have missed that executive order.

 

[pinball1970]

View attachment 356535

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Orodruin]

Swedish newspaper column ages ago asking people on the streer questions;

1) Do you care if the merchandise you buy is manufactured by children.
2) Do you do anything to control if it is or not?

The replies on the sides are what you would expect. Circled answer is:
1) Yes, chikdren have no sense of quality, which is noticeable in the product,
2) No.

 

[pinball1970]

 

[pinball1970]

 

[DaveC426913]

Interviewer: "And where do you see yourself five years from now?"

Me: "Same as usual: mirrors, windows, other reflective surfaces."

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 356544

How about curling?

 

[fresh_42]

Interviewer: "And where do you see yourself five years from now?"

Me: "Same as usual: mirrors, windows, other reflective surfaces."

Interviewer: "What are your strengths?"

Me: "Understanding complex subjects based on little information."

Interviewer: "And what are your weak...?"

Me: "A weekly salary of $5,000 is acceptable."

 

[Orodruin]

 

[pinball1970]

Interviewer: "And where do you see yourself five years from now?"

You could have answered.

"American."

As a Canadian.....

Sorry too soon?

 

[WWGD]

How about curling?

Bet he prefers his hair straight.

 

[WWGD]

You could have answered.

"American."

As a Canadian.....

Sorry too soon?

Ditto for the Greenlandeese.

 

[jack action]

You could have answered.

"American."

As a Canadian.....

Sorry too soon?

Canadians are already Americans; they're just not United Statesians.

 

[DennisN]

 

[fresh_42]

Canadians are already Americans; they're just not United Statesians.

A friend of mine calls them "the better Americans".

 

[WWGD]

An overly long book about ww2 was abridged over the river Kwai.

 

[DaveC426913]

Interviewer: "What are your strengths?"

Me: "I'd say not listening is my biggest weakness."

 

[DaveC426913]

A friend of mine calls them "the better Americans".

We call ourselves "nervous neighbours living above a crack house".

 

[fresh_42]

We call ourselves "nervous neighbours living above a crack house".

There is a common idiom in German: "something borders stupidity". It is used in discussions and the question of what this 'something' is is usually not answered explicitly since it emerges from context. E.g. you can say that calling for the police after you crashed your car while drunk "borders stupidity". So asking "what borders stupidity" without a specific example doesn't make sense. At least I thought so until I repeatedly read exactly that question on social media.

 

[pinball1970]

My latest additions taken in the best spirits hopefully. It is just that ammunition keeps falling onto my lap so I fire a few.

Firing up in the air, falling harmlessly to the ground and I painted a smiley face on before loading.