Collection of Lame Jokes

[DrGreg]

I've seen expiration dates on a lot of food items, but this bag of potato chips has the first expiration time I've seen. Tick tick tick...

And three centuries in the future!

 

[nsaspook]

Sunuvagun. Would've bet a lot of money it was 'shopped based just on photo-analysis.

The crazy thing today, the better it looks, the more likely it is to be a fake (AI generated).

 

[Tom.G]

I've seen expiration dates on a lot of food items, but this bag of potato chips has the first expiration time I've seen. Tick tick tick...

View attachment 359299

The "H 4B 5:03 PM" are the plant, packaging line, and time that particular bag was filled. (not necessarily in that order)

It is included so if their is a recall, the correct batch can be easily indentified in inventory, and also which packaging line to investigate.

 

[davenn]

 

[nsaspook]

Not too close, you never want to cross the streams. What happens?
"Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light."

 

[berkeman]

 

[BillTre]

 

[DennisN]

 

[Ibix]

A friend asked what I would regret most if I died in my sleep. Probably going to bed that night.

I recall an interview on the radio back in the 1980s with a lady, then in her nineties. Asked to what she attributed her long life, she replied "deciding not to sail on the Titanic".

 

[Swamp Thing]

I don't suppose I am the first person in the world to notice this "phenomenon", but it does say lame jokes in the thread title...

 

[jtbell]

What do you call a theatrical production based on puns?

A play on words.

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 359389

I bet he'd like to vroom with her!

 

[WWGD]

I took out the Swiss knife someone gifted me just to look at it in the elevator. I ended up with 5 wallets on me.

 

[DaveC426913]

I took out the Swiss knife someone gifted me just to look at it in the elevator. I ended up with 5 wallets on me.

You operate on an entirely different plane than I.

 

[WWGD]

You operate on an entirely different plane than I.

They thought I was holding them up when they saw the knife out.

 

[DrGreg]

I took out the Swiss knife someone gifted me just to look at it in the elevator. I ended up with 5 wallets on me.

Doing that in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

 

[WWGD]

Did someone attack Reese Witherspoon? No, with a knife.

 

[BillTre]

Picklehenge:

 

[jack action]

You operate on an entirely different plane than I.

I really do not recommend doing that on a plane.

 

[jtbell]

I really do not recommend doing that on a plane.

Can you even board a plane with a Swiss army knife?

 

[berkeman]

 

[gmax137]

Can you even board a plane with a Swiss army knife?

I inadvertently had my 25 year old Swiss army knife in my carryon bag. The Mexican airport police have it now

 

[berkeman]

I inadvertently had my 25 year old Swiss army knife in my carryon bag. The Mexican airport police have it now

Same here. I realized that I had not put my 2.5 inch pocket knife in my checked luggage in my last self-patdown before the scanner (Duh), and handed it to the TSA agent with an apology. Note to self...

 

[phinds]

I lost one that way years ago, not long after 9-11 but have not forgotten the rules since then. Very annoying, too, 'cause it was a really nice short-blade Buck pen knife.

 

[nsaspook]

I lost one that way years ago, not long after 9-11 but have not forgotten the rules since then. Very annoying, too, 'cause it was a really nice short-blade Buck pen knife.

I miss the old days when we would board the plane with a complete electronic tool box filled with knives and just about every sharp tool imaginable. All they wanted to see was my field engineering business card. This security theater is getting old.

 

[gmax137]

I miss the old days when we would board the plane with a complete electronic tool box filled with knives and just about every sharp tool imaginable. All they wanted to see was my field engineering business card. This security theater is getting old.

I remember carrying on a disc grinder with cutoff wheels, belt sander, and a 24 inch vernier caliper. On an overseas flight to Belgium. Must have been 1990s.

 

[BillTre]

 

[berkeman]

 

[Klystron]

I miss the old days when we would board the plane with a complete electronic tool box filled with knives and just about every sharp tool imaginable. All they wanted to see was my field engineering business card. This security theater is getting old.

I remember carrying on a disc grinder with cutoff wheels, belt sander, and a 24 inch vernier caliper. On an overseas flight to Belgium. Must have been 1990s.

"Security theater" so true. How times have changed.

Flying into McCarran, now Harry Reid, airport back in the day.
Shared aircraft with several sale reps preparing for an annual international trade show at Las Vegas Expo Center. Most of their equipment had been shipped ahead but the Beretta, Mossberg and Benelli reps hand carried exemplars of their finest shotgun technology in beautifully crafted carrying cases.

 

[fresh_42]

Leash of the week.​