Collection of Lame Jokes

[256bits]

]

Working at home is crap!
(Joe, 42, firefighter)

The mime said " "
( I think he agrees, but I'm not too sure.

 

[Mark44]

Thanks for refreshing my memory , 256 ( May I call you Byte/4 ?)

Did you mean KB/4?
256 bytes is one fourth of a Kilobyte.

 

[davenn]

There was a rumor Idi Amin, former Ugandan ruler, was a cannibal*. Once, during a flight, they asked him what he wanted for dinner. He replies: " The fat guy on row 3, with potatos and salad."

* Thanks for refreshing my memory , 256 ( May I call you Byte/4 ?)

Did you mean KB/4?
256 bytes is one fourth of a Kilobyte.

wellllllll ... to be a little pedantic haha

the nickname is 256bit

256 bits = 32 bytes ( under the original 1byte = 8 bits system) ...
let you do the rest of the math for your KB

 

[256bits]

32$ all the loose change counted up that fateful day.

 

[mfb]

256 bit - either a tiny bit of memory, or complete memory loss from alcohol poisoning.

 

[WWGD]

Did you mean KB/4?
256 bytes is one fourth of a Kilobyte.

Yes, my bad.

 

[Ibix]

What do you call a worried dinosaur?

A nervous rex

 

[DrGreg]

Q. Where can you buy a baby dinosaur?

A. Tyrannos "Я" Us

 

[davenn]

hahaha nice one

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Al Bundy (in married with children) answers an oral questionnaire. Question (4 possible answers):
"How do you like to spend your vacation?"
Answer A: with your wife

Al Bundy: ... B, B !

 

[jtbell]

"There's one thing I've always wanted to do before I quit: Retire."
-- Groucho Marx

 

[Noisy Rhysling]

One from WWII: Two Germans walk into a B.A.R.

 

[davenn]

"There's one thing I've always wanted to do before I quit: Retire."
-- Groucho Marx

speaking of retire (d)

 

[davenn]

I have such awesome superpowers hahahaha ...

 

[Stavros Kiri]

I have such awesome superpowers hahahaha ...

View attachment 207053

And I can make the moon move ... just by staring at it for 30 minutes! ...

 

[256bits]

One from WWII: Two Germans walk into a B.A.R.

I laugh three times when given a joke.
When its told
When it's explained to me
When I finally get it.

 

[256bits]

I have such awesome superpowers hahahaha ...

A Chuck Norris fan/trainee!

 

[davenn]

One from WWII: Two Germans walk into a B.A.R.

I laugh three times when given a joke.
When its told
When it's explained to me
When I finally get it.

I'm still awaiting for that second part ... went over my head

 

[jtbell]

To me, "B.A.R." in a German context means Berliner Außenring, but I tend to have a single track mind (er, double track in this case).

 

[Ibix]

A Browning Automatic Rifle is a kind of WWII era light machine gun widely used by US troops.

 

[OCR]

...went over my head...

Damn... you're lucky ! ..

 

[Noisy Rhysling]

I'm still awaiting for that second part ... went over my head

Browning Automatic Rifle Model 1918A. It was such a good weapon that it wasn't issued to our troops in France during WWI.

 

[Noisy Rhysling]

A Browning Automatic Rifle is a kind of WWII era light machine gun widely used by US troops.

Ahem. "M1918A".

But you're right, the BARs were a squad weapon and ferocious in battle.

 

[Ibix]

Ahem. "M1918A".

The Wikipedia article says it wasn't used significantly in WWI but was heavily used in WWII and Korea et al. I didn't think its entire operational history was necessary to get the joke...

 

[Noisy Rhysling]

The Wikipedia article says it wasn't used significantly in WWI but was heavily used in WWII and Korea et al. I didn't think its entire operational history was necessary to get the joke...

For me the joke was the BAR was considered so good that the Army wouldn't issue it to the troops in WWI. They were afraid the Germans would capture one and copy it. DOH!

 

[jtbell]

On which day of the week is a dentist busiest?

Toothday.

 

[fresh_42]

On which day of the week is a dentist busiest?

Toothday.

Thanks. Really. Now I understand why I was so thirsty today.

 

[Drakkith]

Thanks. Really. Now I understand why I was so thirsty today.

Because it's Thirst-day?

 

[DrGreg]

On which day of the week is a dentist busiest?

Toothday.

Especially at 2.30

 

[OCR]

They were afraid the Germans would capture one and copy it. DOH!

Yup....

The intentional delay had been inspired by general Pershing, the A.E.F. Commander, in order not to let the BAR fall into enemy hands too early.

 

[davenn]

On which day of the week is a dentist busiest?

Toothday.

 

[davenn]

and still on the medical theme

 

[Noisy Rhysling]

Yup....

http://www.ibiblio.org/hyperwar/USN/ref/MG/

 

[Ibix]

and still on the medical theme

View attachment 207145

Which is odd when you think about it, because PET scan.

 

[jtbell]

WHAT DO YOU CALL POSTING IN ALL UPPERCASE LETTERS LIKE THIS?

A capital offense.

 

[Noisy Rhysling]

WHAT DO YOU CALL POSTING IN ALL UPPERCASE LETTERS LIKE THIS?

A capital offense.

I've been posting my numbers in upper case all along. Just noticed it last night. :blush:

 

[mfb]

I've been posting my numbers in upper case all along. Just noticed it last night. :blush:

$&$%?

 

[Noisy Rhysling]

$&$%?

"...and for gosh sakes, watch your language!"

 

[Ibix]

I've been posting my numbers in upper case all along. Just noticed it last night. :blush:

Careful - shouting some numbers makes them larger. E.g. 5 is just five, but try shouting it: 5!=120.

 

[fresh_42]

Careful - shouting some numbers makes them larger. E.g. 5 is just five, but try shouting it: 5!=120.

And not to forget the dangerous echo: $5^{5^{5^{5^{5^{\,\dots}}}}}$. It might cause an avalanche!

 

[Charles Link]

Riddle: What type of fish does a bird like to sit on?

 

[Ibix]

Riddle: What type of fish does a bird like to sit on?

Spoiler

Perch

 

[DrGreg]

There's a joke about a blue bird made of mahogany. It would be great if I could remember it.

Wouldn't it?

Spoiler

If you don't get this, it's a pun on the last line, that sounds like a response to the first sentence.

Joke by Tim Vine.

 

[Charles Link]

There's a joke about a blue bird made of mahogany. It would be great if I could remember it.

Wouldn't it?

Spoiler

If you don't get this, it's a pun on the last line, that sounds like a response to the first sentence.

Joke by Tim Vine.

It wood !

 

[WWGD]

One of the items in the chain's menu was named "The Feast" , and its number was 13. 13 --not 666 -- is the number of the feast ?!

 

[Ibix]

667 - the neighbour of the beast
2 3 3 37 - the prime factorisation of the beast
vi vi vi - the editor of the beast

 

[WWGD]

667 - the neighbour of the beast
2 3 3 37 - the prime factorisation of the beast
vi vi vi - the editor of the beast

Always wondered how Roman engineers built all those aqueducts, etc. with such system: XVI times MCD minus LVII = ...?!?

 

[WWGD]

667 - the neighbour of the beast
2 3 3 37 - the prime factorisation of the beast
vi vi vi - the editor of the beast

Actually, 13 is the feast and one of its neighbors is the Biryani: I would tell them Biryani factors as 23 29 , but I already have a reputation and I don't want to end up in a straight jacket.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Noisy Rhysling]

And not to forget the dangerous echo: $5^{5^{5^{5^{5^{\,\dots}}}}}$. It might cause an avalanche!

That's some kind of maths joke, right?