Collection of Lame Jokes

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SUMMARY

This forum discussion centers around a collection of lame jokes shared by users, showcasing a variety of humor styles. Notable jokes include, "A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, 'Give me some chapstick and put it on my bill,'" and "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." Participants engage in light-hearted banter, with some jokes eliciting groans and laughter alike. The thread emphasizes the enjoyment of humor that is intentionally silly or absurd, appealing to those who appreciate puns and wordplay.

PREREQUISITES
  • Understanding of basic joke structure and humor types
  • Familiarity with puns and wordplay
  • Knowledge of cultural references in humor
  • Ability to appreciate absurdity in comedic contexts
NEXT STEPS
  • Explore the history of puns in literature and comedy
  • Research the psychology of humor and why people enjoy lame jokes
  • Learn about different styles of comedy, including surrealism and absurdism
  • Investigate the role of cultural references in joke-telling
USEFUL FOR

Anyone looking to enhance their comedic repertoire, including aspiring comedians, writers, and individuals interested in the mechanics of humor. This discussion is particularly beneficial for those who enjoy light-hearted, silly jokes and want to understand their appeal.

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  • #2,342
OmCheeto said:
Frajilized Borek said:
Junior is buyin a freshly smoked up TV set fo' his wild lil' flat, n' he ordered it all up in tha web. Our thugged-out ***es was chattin all up in tha time n' he holla'd some shiznit like "the joint has flavas dat was so irritatin mah eyes exploded afta I put tha order". Right back up in yo m****f***** a**. So I busted some lyrics ta his *** "Cizzlel tha order, yo a** won't need TV now".

:smile:
 
  • #2,343
There used to be a cleaner version of this called "jive" included in some versions of Unix. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jive_filter
 
  • #2,344
South Jersey - Dec 7, 2012. A crowd of angry commuters, frustrated because their train was more than usually late, dragged the clerk from the ticket booth and tied him to the track and left him there to die. The poor man starved to death.
 
  • #2,345
Funny but true. A senior citizens home was having trouble keeping all the residents from wandering off. Someone suggested they build a fake bus stop out front. Local residents came initially to wait and home staff told them that it was fake.

The strategy worked whenever a resident was missing they'd look outside and see they were waiting for the bus. A staff member would go out and sit with them for awhile and then invite them back inside. Later when residents became anxious about seeing someone or going home the staff would suggest they take the bus.

Recent NPR story about a home in Germany ( or was it radiolab - I keep forgetting maybe ill just take the bus)
 
  • #2,347
(going around FB, but I like sharing here)

Did you hear that Oxygen and Potassium went on a date?

It went OK.
 
  • #2,348
What pickup line did Mr. Potatohead use on the future Ms. Potatohead ?

" Hey baby, what say we go make some fries ? " :!)
 
  • #2,349
http://img689.imageshack.us/img689/2396/homoslackasserectus.jpg
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #2,350
Ivan Seeking said:
http://img689.imageshack.us/img689/2396/homoslackasserectus.jpg
:smile: I'm not saying they're aliens, but...
 
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  • #2,351
Ibix said:
:smile: I'm not saying they're aliens, but...

In either case, I think he's about to pee on that car!
 
  • #2,352
Ivan Seeking said:
I think he's about to pee on that car!

Dogg-y style!
 
  • #2,353
dkotschessaa said:
(going around FB, but I like sharing here)

Did you hear that Oxygen and Potassium went on a date?

It went OK.

lololz
 
  • #2,354
dkotschessaa said:
Did you hear that Oxygen and Potassium went on a date?

It went OK.

Oxygen and Magnesium, on the other hand...
 
  • #2,355
jtbell said:
Oxygen and Magnesium, on the other hand...

OMg! I heard about that too!
 
  • #2,356
Yeah, they really set the club on fire! :eek:
 
  • #2,357
HeLiXe said:
lololz

Did you hear that 3 elements went together?
It went lololz.
 
  • #2,358
I like Serena said:
Did you hear that 3 elements went together?
It went lololz.
:smile: u got me :-p
 
  • #2,360
A local TV station's "mind twister" on their local news program this morning:

Q: Why is it illegal for someone living in South Carolina to be buried in North Carolina?

A: It's illegal to bury a living person in North Carolina.
 
  • #2,361
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?

because they have big fingers.
 
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  • #2,362
ewwwww
 
  • #2,363
Tyson.jpg
 
  • #2,364
What did 0 say to 8?

Nice belt!
 
  • #2,365
A guy walks into a bar. Ouch.
 
  • #2,366
The bartender says to the neutrino "We don't like your kind around here"

The neutrino doesn't react.

A neutrino walks into a bar.
 
  • #2,367
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.

The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?

The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.
 
  • #2,368
lololol that was good
 
  • #2,369
Ivan Seeking said:
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.

The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?

The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.

:smile:
 
  • #2,370
The following is from the Washington Post Style Invitational contest that asked readers to submit "instructions" for something (anything), but written in the style of a famous person. The winning entry was The Hokey Pokey (as written by William Shakespeare).

O proud left foot, that ventures quick within
Then soon upon a backward journey lithe.
Anon, once more the gesture, then begin:
Command sinistral pedestal to writhe.
Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke,
A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl.
To spin! A wilde release from Heavens yoke.
Blessed dervish! Surely canst go, girl.
The Hoke, the poke -- banish now thy doubt
Verily, I say, 'tis what it's all about.
-- by "William Shakespeare"
 

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