Collection of Lame Jokes

[WWGD]

View attachment 247002

I

My Taiwanese friend has Taipei personality. (Ouch.

That's for those who say I don't recycle. This joke is at least fifteen years old.

 

[BillTre]

 

[WWGD]

@starbucks
" The bathroom is in really bad shape"
"Should we call a plumber?"
"No, really, really bad, more like a priest"

 

[fresh_42]

That's for those who say I don't recycle. This joke is at least fifteen years old.

Do you know this long line on the interstate 80? Th

@starbucks
" The bathroom is in really bad shape"
"Should we call a plumber?"
"No, really, really bad, more like a priest"

"Someone placed a bomb in the bathroom!"
"Oh, we need to call the bomb squad!"
"No. You don't!"
(Texas lightning.)

 

[WWGD]

Do you know this long line on the interstate 80? Th

??

 

[fresh_42]

??

Yeah, was a not so good joke from childhood days:

We say old jokes have a long beard. And what's longer than this line?

 

[WWGD]

Yeah, was a not so good joke from childhood days:

View attachment 247080

We say old jokes have a long beard. And what's longer than this line?

Ah, number 43!

 

[tnich]

Here's a joke I remember from second grade:

Mark: What's red and goes ding dong?
Andy: A red ding dong?
Mark: Right! What's blue and goes ding dong?
Andy: A blue ding dong.
Mark: No, they only come in red.

 

[Swamp Thing]

English:
"Publish or perish".

German:
"Papiere, bitte".

Spoiler

(papers, please)

 

[Keith_McClary]

Careful, your post may inspire more lame age jokes. To wit:

"I am so old my printer writes in cuneiform."
"Uses only the finest Babylonian mud, from Ur!"

Clay tablets

 

[davenn]

 

[Wrichik Basu]

"He is very poor."
"How much poor?"
"He is extremely poor, terribly poor. He understands nothing except money."
A lame translation of a few lines from a story in Bengali.[/size]

 

[Steelwolf]

Heck, that is not poor at all, MY Family was soooooo poor that not only could we not afford to pay attention, our family started the entire Attention Deficit.

 

[Swamp Thing]

Clay tablets

But why clay? I can't believe the fraudsters chose clay just to make this joke possible.
If I want to put something into a box to simulate the heft of a phone, what's my most logical choice?

 

[Steelwolf]

On those cuneiform tablets it is an obviously distinct text Ur.

 

[WWGD]

What is Gibbs Sampling?
Gibbs is not sampling anything, stop spreading rumors!

 

[davenn]

 

[256bits]

Ok. Let's not be too sexist here.
Obviously woman also need a reason to not press the issue. ( hha that's a pun )

 

[256bits]

"He is very poor."
"How much poor?"
"He is extremely poor, terribly poor. He understands nothing except money."
A lame translation of a few lines from a story in Bengali.

Just like my uncle's wife.
She could afford nothing but hand-me-downs she used to say.
"To go shopping for new clothes, Bob has to hand me down money from his paycheck."

 

[davenn]

@jtbell 's current roadtrip had me thinking of this giggle

 

[fresh_42]

@jtbell 's current roadtrip had me thinking of this giggleView attachment 247311

Home - Sailboat (Sloop John B)
Oak Tree - Bus (Yellow Ribbon)
New Orleans - Follow the Rising Sun
Her door - Long and Winding Road
Over Her - Steamroller (Blues)
Around the World - Ox Cart
Down by the River - Boat House (Pretty Belinda)
Leaving - Jet Plane / Jet Airliner
Green Grass at Home - Train
The Other Side - Elevator
Death - Spirit in the Sky
Sadness - Troika (Дорогой длинною)

 

[Auto-Didact]

Gates et al. 1985, The Super G-String

 

[davenn]

some good additions :)

 

[Auto-Didact]

A quantization of the gravitational field, which appears to be necessary for physical reasons, may be carried out without any new difficulties by means of a formalism wholly analogous to that applied here.
- Heisenberg & Pauli

 

[Klystron]

some good additions :)

Streets of Laredo -- out walking
BoJangles throughout the South -- dance!
The next whiskey bar -- Don't Ask (why)

 

[WWGD]

A quantization of the gravitational field, which appears to be necessary for physical reasons, may be carried out without any new difficulties by means of a formalism wholly analogous to that applied here.
- Heisenberg & Pauli

Wow, only in PF you get these types of jokes! ( I don't get it)

 

[WWGD]

MadMag RIP: Finally, proof of Tom Selleck being invisible. Tom Selleck standing in the street( He's by the street sign on the front left).

 

[WWGD]

MadMag RIP #2
"Your dad is a nut"
"My dad is not a nut, he's a hero. He stormed the beach at Normandy"
" Yes, but he did it last week, alone, in his underwear, shouting"

 

[mfb]

Wow, only in PF you get these types of jokes! ( I don't get it)

I don't find that quote, but if it is real:

Decades and thousands of physicists later we still didn't manage to do it.

 

[WWGD]

I don't find that quote, but if it is real:

Decades and thousands of physicists later we still didn't manage to do it.

It's #6,024 in this thread.

 

[mfb]

... not in this thread (if you want to know where a quoted post comes from, click on the upwards arrow next to the user name, by the way). I mean as a reference that these guys said it.

 

[Auto-Didact]

... not in this thread (if you want to know where a quoted post comes from, click on the upwards arrow next to the user name, by the way). I mean as a reference that these guys said it.

https://doi.org/10.1007/BF013401293rd page, last sentence

 

[Filip Larsen]

What is Gibbs Sampling?
Gibbs is not sampling anything, stop spreading rumors!

Reminded me of ...

except that I remember it as "drive" and not "disk" ... maybe general Failure has also been reading my mind?

 

[DrGreg]

Reminded me of ...

View attachment 247416
except that I remember it as "drive" and not "disk" ... maybe general Failure has also been reading my mind?

I heard General Failure was not a very good driver and kept causing crashes.

 

[Ibix]

I heard General Failure was not a very good driver and kept causing crashes.

I hear he taught Major Accident everything he knows.

 

[Ibix]

Did you hear about the break in at the kennels? The burglar left the doors open and all the dogs escaped. Police are looking for leads.

 

[WWGD]

I hear he taught Major Accident everything he knows.

And was the very model of a modern major general.

 

[Steelwolf]

And was the very model of a modern major general.

"Polished up the Knocker on the Big Front Door..."

 

[BillTre]

 

[DaveC426913]

"Polished up the Knocker on the Big Front Door..."

I literally just watched Young Frankenstein last night.

 

[BillTre]

 

[256bits]

MadMag RIP: Finally, proof of Tom Selleck being invisible. Tom Selleck standing in the street( He's by the street sign on the front left).
View attachment 247390

Should have also said "Made you look!" Of course I did.

 

[256bits]

I literally just watched Young Frankenstein last night.
View attachment 247529View attachment 247528

Was that with Tom Cruise?
Frank and Stein The Firm.

 

[davenn]

 

[WWGD]

Was that with Tom Cruise?
Frank and Stein The Firm.

Frank and Steen?

 

[Klystron]

A visitor arrives in Our Fair City lonely and depressed. The newcomer seeks the advice of noted psychologist Doctor F.

Visitor: "Doctor F. Please help me. My life on the road, the constant travel, has left me bereft of the solace of friends and family. The sun does not shine on me. Life has become a burden I must bear rather than a joy I can share."

Dr. F.: "My friend, today your luck has changed for the better. Today the great maestro Tetrazini arrives in Our Fair City to entertain the people and invoke joy and happiness in all who witness. You, my sad new friend, must buy a ticket to see the great Tetrazini!"

Visitor (overcome with emotion): "But Doctor, you do not understand! I am, (sob), I AM "

Spoiler: twist ending

"not going to pay your bill then fork out hard earned pffenigs to watch some clown!"

Dr. F:. "Oh. Well. Try some of this cocaine powder instead. Make you feel right in a jiffy!"

Spoiler: original (classical) ending

"I AM Tetrazini!" (boo-hoo-hoo)

 

[Steelwolf]

So, would you say that folks who enjoyed the movie 'Young Frankenstein' to an extreme are a bunch of Steen Punks?

 

[Steelwolf]

When a flood down a hill becomes a band's name you end up with Motte le Crue. Sadly it was a crushing event in California recently with the sandy cliffs moving again.

 

[BillTre]

Would be even more ancient if it were a rotary phone.
I like the phone book holder, but it looks empty to me.

 

[DaveC426913]

Antique shopping won't make you gay.

But it might make you buy curios.