Collection of Lame Jokes

[mfb]

... not in this thread (if you want to know where a quoted post comes from, click on the upwards arrow next to the user name, by the way). I mean as a reference that these guys said it.

 

[Auto-Didact]

... not in this thread (if you want to know where a quoted post comes from, click on the upwards arrow next to the user name, by the way). I mean as a reference that these guys said it.

https://doi.org/10.1007/BF013401293rd page, last sentence

 

[Filip Larsen]

What is Gibbs Sampling?
Gibbs is not sampling anything, stop spreading rumors!

Reminded me of ...

except that I remember it as "drive" and not "disk" ... maybe general Failure has also been reading my mind?

 

[DrGreg]

Reminded me of ...

View attachment 247416
except that I remember it as "drive" and not "disk" ... maybe general Failure has also been reading my mind?

I heard General Failure was not a very good driver and kept causing crashes.

 

[Ibix]

I heard General Failure was not a very good driver and kept causing crashes.

I hear he taught Major Accident everything he knows.

 

[Ibix]

Did you hear about the break in at the kennels? The burglar left the doors open and all the dogs escaped. Police are looking for leads.

 

[WWGD]

I hear he taught Major Accident everything he knows.

And was the very model of a modern major general.

 

[Steelwolf]

And was the very model of a modern major general.

"Polished up the Knocker on the Big Front Door..."

 

[BillTre]

 

[DaveC426913]

"Polished up the Knocker on the Big Front Door..."

I literally just watched Young Frankenstein last night.

 

[BillTre]

 

[256bits]

MadMag RIP: Finally, proof of Tom Selleck being invisible. Tom Selleck standing in the street( He's by the street sign on the front left).
View attachment 247390

Should have also said "Made you look!" Of course I did.

 

[256bits]

I literally just watched Young Frankenstein last night.
View attachment 247529View attachment 247528

Was that with Tom Cruise?
Frank and Stein The Firm.

 

[davenn]

 

[WWGD]

Was that with Tom Cruise?
Frank and Stein The Firm.

Frank and Steen?

 

[Klystron]

A visitor arrives in Our Fair City lonely and depressed. The newcomer seeks the advice of noted psychologist Doctor F.

Visitor: "Doctor F. Please help me. My life on the road, the constant travel, has left me bereft of the solace of friends and family. The sun does not shine on me. Life has become a burden I must bear rather than a joy I can share."

Dr. F.: "My friend, today your luck has changed for the better. Today the great maestro Tetrazini arrives in Our Fair City to entertain the people and invoke joy and happiness in all who witness. You, my sad new friend, must buy a ticket to see the great Tetrazini!"

Visitor (overcome with emotion): "But Doctor, you do not understand! I am, (sob), I AM "

Spoiler: twist ending

"not going to pay your bill then fork out hard earned pffenigs to watch some clown!"

Dr. F:. "Oh. Well. Try some of this cocaine powder instead. Make you feel right in a jiffy!"

Spoiler: original (classical) ending

"I AM Tetrazini!" (boo-hoo-hoo)

 

[Steelwolf]

So, would you say that folks who enjoyed the movie 'Young Frankenstein' to an extreme are a bunch of Steen Punks?

 

[Steelwolf]

When a flood down a hill becomes a band's name you end up with Motte le Crue. Sadly it was a crushing event in California recently with the sandy cliffs moving again.

 

[BillTre]

Would be even more ancient if it were a rotary phone.
I like the phone book holder, but it looks empty to me.

 

[DaveC426913]

Antique shopping won't make you gay.

But it might make you buy curios.

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 247802

But there is more scrap in space than spaceships in scrapyards.

 

[mfb]

We should make an exchange program. Spaceships to space, scrap in space to scrapyards.

 

[Auto-Didact]

Gates et al. 1985, The Super G-String

They are back with more:

Gates et al. 1987, SUPER G-STRING FIELD THEORY

Surely this one is a contender for the Breakthrough Prize.

 

[Eclair_de_XII]

I don't know if this one has been made in this topic, yet, so sorry if I'm being repetitive.

Q: "What's the difference between math and magic?"
A: "A good mathematician always reveals their secrets."

I'm not sure how true the punchline is, though.

 

[mfb]

"it is trivial that..."
"this directly follows from..."

 

[Klystron]

"it is trivial that..."
"this directly follows from..."

"Obviously..."

"From here the discourse diverges in two directions..."

"And a One, and a Two and a..."

 

[DrGreg]

"Obviously..."

"From here the discourse diverges in two directions..."

"And a One, and a Two and a..."

I will leave the reply to this as an exercise for the reader.

 

[Steelwolf]

"Obviously..."

"From here the discourse diverges in two directions..."

"And a One, and a Two and a..."

Oh No, NOT the Art Linkletter Show, I will not Live though an hour of Art Linkletter and his dancing Troupe. Talk about a series of wide divergences! (Brought to you today by Doan's little pills)

Lordy, that was like a Jump to the Left...

 

[Steelwolf]

A kindergarten teacher brings in some Honey flavored Life Savers to class one morning, and asks if the class knows what flavor it is. At first the little kids are looking puzzled, they are not sure, so the teacher tells them that it is Something that your mother might call your Father. One little girl gets a shocked look on her face spits out the candy and tells her friends get rid of them quick, they are candied arseholes!