Collection of Lame Jokes

[fresh_42]

Recent causes View attachment 327420

Be careful what you wish.

We used to shout "Freedom for Greenland! Away with the ice shield!" as kids, now, see where it brought us to!

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[phinds]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jack action]

 

[WWGD]

Now no one will be able to steal the wall:

 

[phinds]

 

[Grelbr42]

Now no one will be able to steal the wall:
View attachment 327442

Devices of this type are used for a couple purposes.

One is to store keys to a nearby door. You flip down the cover and it exposes a keypad. Inside is the key to the door. It's often used, for example, for parts lockers. This way, you can give out the combo to people who are supposed to be able to get in the door. If the people who are permitted change, you can change the pass code.

Another is to store a thing that a security guard has to use to turn a device on his monitor clock on his belt. This proves he made his appointed circuit.

Still, the Lock Picking Lawyer often finds that Master Lock products are not of high quality.

 

[pinball1970]

When I was taking my Instructional Strategies class I was often told "Make sure you ask the question you want to have answered."

-Dan

I said that to so many Ex girlfriends...

Probably why I have so many ex girlfriends?

No, it's because I answered so many of those questions.

 

[Ibix]

Still, the Lock Picking Lawyer often finds that Master Lock products are not of high quality.

I'm amused (well I was amused the first two or three times I saw them) by the regular comments on his videos suggesting that one day he'll get arrested for picking something he shouldn't have and the next video will start "I've been put in the county jail and there are some inexcusable weaknesses in the cell door locks..."

 

[pinball1970]

View attachment 327230

Anyone else think that was going to be a joke about testicles?

 

[BillTre]

 

[WWGD]

I said that to so many Ex girlfriends...

Probably why I have so many ex girlfriends?

No, it's because I answered so many of those questions.

Same with me pointing out in Bruno Mars' video " It will Rain", that morphine is used for physical, not emotional, pain. No wonder I'm writing this comment from my home on Friday night , while all others are out in bats, clubs.

 

[dextercioby]

 

[davenn]

 

[DennisN]

 

[jack action]

Lance is an uncommon name nowadays.

But in medieval times people were named Lance a lot.

 

[jack action]

A boy was born without a body, only a head. When he turned 21, his father took him to the bar for his first beer.

The boy took a sip and suddenly grew a torso. The boy was so excited, he took another sip. Suddenly he grew arms.

He took another sip and he grew legs. He was so overwhelmed with joy that he ran out of the bar and into the street and was hit by a big rig and died.

The moral of the story is: Sometimes it's good to quit while you're a head.

 

[gmax137]

Lance is an uncommon name nowadays.

But in medieval times people were named Lance a lot.

That's not just lame, it's lame squared. No, wait, it's lame factorial!

 

[256bits]

See earlier in this thread.

I gave a Wow, because how can you keep track of where to find previously mentioned?

 

[Ibix]

I gave a Wow, because how can you keep track of where to find previously mentioned?

Search for the word "adder", restricting it to "this thread". I knew I'd told that one at some point... It doesn't work with the images, unfortunately.

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 327478

So scientists always thought the antennae were for sensing smell, but actually they're 5G receivers?

(Incoming conspiracy theory in 5...4...3...)

 

[dextercioby]

 

[phinds]

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[DrGreg]

Terry Gilliam / Monty Python

The joke is somewhat spoilt by the fact that the title of the clip gives away the punchline.

 

[nsaspook]