Collection of Science Jokes P2

[fresh_42]

 

[BillTre]

Another Example of Cartoon Physics:

 

[Torbert]

 

[sandy stone]

In the interest of scientific accuracy, I must point out that flying fish definitely do fly, or at least glide for extended distances, as can be seen in any number of Youtube videos. Thank you, I feel better now.

 

[Klystron]

<snip>
Which drink is the most popular among astronauts?

Spoiler

Full Throttle.

That's easy. Any kid from the 1960's knows Astronauts prefer:

Spoiler: Astronauts drink

Tang!

But what do Cosmonauts drink?

Spoiler: Cosmonauts drink

Tang flavoured Vodka

 

[Ibix]

WANTED: DEAD AND ALIVE
Schrödinger's Cat

 

[DifferentialGalois]

Why was Tesla marvelling at his greatness upon comparison with Carl Friedrich Gauss?
Because 1 Tesla = 10,000 Gauss.

 

[DifferentialGalois]

Why was Tesla superior to Wilhelm Weber?
Because every weber per square metre corresponded to a Tesla.

 

[mfb]

Similarly: Fermat, Newton and Pascal play hide and seek. It is Fermat's turn to search the others, he covers his eyes and starts counting. While Pascal runs away and hides, Newton takes some chalk and marks a square on the ground with a side length of exactly 1 meter, then sits down inside the square.

Fermat finishes counting, opens his eyes and shouts "I found you Newton!"
Newton: "No, you found one Newton per square meter, you found Pascal!"

 

[BillTre]

 

[Ibix]

Shouldn't of a pumpkin cancel, though?

 

[mfb]

Pumpkin is the identity.

 

[Ibix]

Pumpkin is the identity.

I'm just going to carve a large $I$ on my pumpkin this year.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jack action]

If we cut a cake into 3 pieces, each piece will be 0.333 of the main piece.

If we multiply 0.333 times 3, we get 0.999.

So what happened to the 0.001?!

Spoiler: Answer

You will find it on the knife.

 

[jack action]

When somebody order 1 Kig of onions:

 

[fresh_42]

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 250864

http://bofh.bjash.com/bofh/bofh1.html

 

[DennisN]

BOFH

"I need more space" he says
"Well, why not move to Texas?" I ask

 

[DennisN]

 

[fresh_42]

Scientists figured out that birthdays are extremely healthy. With a 3 sigma confidence they have shown that people with more birthdays tend to live longer.

 

[Ibix]

Scientists figured out that birthdays are extremely healthy. With a 3 sigma confidence they have shown that people with more birthdays tend to live longer.

Correlation does not imply causation.

 

[mfb]

Scientists figured out that birthdays are extremely healthy. With a 3 sigma confidence they have shown that people with more birthdays tend to live longer.

Most of the outliers were born on February 29.

 

[davenn]

I make no bones about the fact that I met my girlfriend at the Museum of Paleontology.

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 250864

PEBKAC

A friend of a friend works in Tech Support. The phone rang one day - "Hi, it's John from Accounts. I've got a problem with my computer. I rang Dave (edit: the other support guy) who said I had an ID ten T error, and you'd know what that meant and how to fix it." He had to go on hold for a bit, then think of a face-saving way out of the situation.

 

[DennisN]

 

[Keith_McClary]

http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/orbit

 

[jack action]