Collection of Science Jokes P2

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View attachment 286987

Seems like your other control panel lights are faulty as they are out.
There should possibly be an indicator light for standby, power on, . .. depending upon the application.
Too bad - someone removed the control panel cover, perhaps for servicing, and did not replace.
It is quite difficult to say what the indicator light actually represents just from the picture.
A wild guess out of the blue would be that your system is in standby.

 

[Baluncore]

A wild guess out of the blue would be that your system is in standby.

I have met this problem before. Red says stop.
Do not interfere with it, nor try to fix it, until it goes green.
KISS.

 

[chasrob]

There is a semi-famous math algorithm developed by David A. Cox and Steven Zucker. It is known as the Cox-Zucker machine.

For a long time I'd been assuming that they knew what they were doing, but today, via Peter Woit, I got confirmation. Cox writes in a memorial for Zucker:

I met Steve in the fall of 1970 when we were entering graduate students at Princeton. We both studied algebraic geometry, though I was more algebraic (à la Grothendieck) while Steve was more transcendental (à la Griffiths). This made for some lively conversations. A few weeks after we met, we realized that we had to write a joint paper because the combination of our last names, in the usual alphabetical order, is remarkably obscene.

 

[Keith_McClary]

WuMo by Wulff & Morgenthaler for July 10, 2021​

 

[BillTre]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I heard that after a little misfire the ISS had a bad attitude. Why does that remind me of my ex wife?

 

[Tom.G]

 

[davenn]

Probably why they didnt pass their petrology classes

 

[jack action]

Last August 4th was the birthday of John Venn, who introduced the Venn diagrams. Here's a clever poem written with the help of this wonderful tool:

 

[BillTre]

Guess its not that funny.

 

[MikeeMiracle]

 

[BillTre]

 

[Jarvis323]

My head "exploded" the other day . After staying up all night, as I began to fall asleep, there was a sudden extreme burst of noise and light in my head. The level of realism was kind of strange. It was distinct and clear, but not realistic enough to think it was a real sound.

 

[Baluncore]

The level of realism was kind of strange. It was distinct and clear, but not realistic enough to think it was a real sound.

Welcome to the unreal world of hypnagogic dreams.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypnagogia

 

[Jarvis323]

Welcome to the unreal world of hypnagogic dreams.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypnagogia

Besides the sound and light, right before it happened, I was aware and noted to myself that I was in an odd state where I felt like half my mind had crossed into a sleeping state, and the other half was still awake. And then at the moment my head exploded, it was as if there was some kind of short circuit between those two states, and as though some electricity or something suddenly traversed from one part of my brain to another.

 

[Baluncore]

And then at the moment my head exploded, it was as if there was some kind of short circuit between those two states, and as though some electricity or something suddenly traversed from one part of my brain to another.

The "hypnogogic jerk" at the moment you recover balance, is characteristic of not lying down when going to sleep. Horses and cattle don't have that problem. Try sitting with a book in your hand, with your elbo on the table, fore arm upright. When you nod off, your arm will fall, and the sound will awaken you, so you can immediately recall the hypnagogic dream.

 

[davenn]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

The "hypnogogic jerk" at the moment you recover balance, is characteristic of not lying down when going to sleep. Horses and cattle don't have that problem. Try sitting with a book in your hand, with your elbo on the table, fore arm upright. When you nod off, your arm will fall, and the sound will awaken you, so you can immediately recall the hypnagogic dream.

I once read that Einstein did this by holding a paper weight. If he fell asleep, he dropped it and woke himself up. He allegedly did this to maintain a hypnogogic state.

 

[BillTre]

 

[mfb]

Why would you go to a division expert for counseling?

 

[Ibix]

Especially one with that name. I sense a divorced artist...

 

[Borg]

A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building. Don't do it he yells, You have so much potential!

 

[fresh_42]

A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building. Don't do it he yells, You have so much potential!

Yes, he answered. But back on earth, I will have much more momentum!

 

[Borg]

Next...

A woman complained to her friend, I tried having a menais a trois with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three body problem.

 

[mfb]

Take an airplane, maximize potential and momentum at the same time.
(space tourism goes beyond that, but it minimizes your money)

 

[BillTre]

 

[collinsmark]

View attachment 287456

I like the mouseover that goes with it (you can read it by hovering your mouse over the comic in the original),

"How could anyone consider themselves a well-rounded adult without a basic understanding of silicate geochemistry? Silicates are everywhere! It's hard to throw a rock without throwing one!"​

(Source page: https://xkcd.com/2501/)

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Next...

A woman complained to her friend, I tried having a menais a trois with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three body problem.

Amateurs. You solve it as 3 two-body problems with peer review.

 

[BillTre]

 

[Arjan82]

A Biologist, a Chemist and a Statistician Are Out Hunting

The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.
The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.
The statistician shouts, "We got him!"

(Ps I mainly post this so I get actual notifications on this thread, I know the watch button, but then it doesn't give my a notification anyway)

 

[Keith_McClary]

Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau for August 15, 2021​

 

[CynicusRex]

An exponential and a logarithm walk into a bar.
After ordering the bartender asks: “Alright, who's paying?”
The exponential: “Me, because logarithme népérien.”

 

[ergospherical]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[DrGreg]

Inventor: It will have three hands and the third hand is the second hand.

 

[DennisN]

View attachment 287576

"So are you going to follow the advice of your ancestor?"
"Don't know. It seemed kind of fishy."

 

[Baluncore]

Inventor: It will have three hands and the third hand is the second hand.

On the other hand, a second hand clock will give the time it was at the same time on someone else's previous day. To get ahead, you must buy yourself a new clock, or you will always be repeating the past.

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 287576

The real reason of what had happened:

 

[Borg]

Spoiler: Why do quantum physicists have the best sex?

Because they know all of the super positions.

 

[DennisN]

View attachment 287576

The real reason of what had happened:

View attachment 287606

This comic is one of my all-time favorites, I think it's hilarious :
(if I remember correctly it has been posted before in this thread, but I don't remember who posted it)

 

[fresh_42]

This comic is one of my all-time favorites, I think it's hilarious :
(if I remember correctly it has been posted before in this thread, but I don't remember who posted it)

View attachment 287642

I once linked exactly this cartoon in the jokes thread, but I couldn't find it, so I improvised.

 

[Borg]

Spoiler: Why does a burger have less energy than a steak?

Because it’s in its ground state.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Borg]

Back to our regularly scheduled science jokes...

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice.
But, in practice, there is.

 

[Borg]

R.I.P. Boiled Water
You will be mist.

 

[Borg]

Statistically speaking, the average person is mean.

 

[Baluncore]

Statistically speaking, the average person is mean.

Norm was certainly the meanest person I ever met, but all his children were above average.
Epigenetics works in mysterious ways.